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Things I did this weekend

Alternately, Stuff I did while avoiding doing actual work.
Or even, I am super productive when I’m procrastinating.

* Missed seeing a friend on her birthday because I am so disorganized.
* Apologized to said friend and made plans for later this week.
* Realized I hadn’t seen another friend in far too long; made more plans.
* Talked with a third friend about future plans when she returns from a trip.
* Spent a full five minutes marveling at how far I’ve come since my cave-dwelling hermit days because THREE FRIENDS! PLANS! SOCIAL! WOOOOOO!
* Stripped all beds, washed sheets, made up all beds.
* Laid down on freshly made bed wondering if there is anything better in the whole world than fresh, clean sheets on an unrumpled bed.
* Was immediately joined by a dog with muddy paws. (You know in cartoons how there’s an audible *POP* when a character’s happy bubble is burst? It was like that.)
* Did more laundry.
* Stalked my husband’s social media to see how his trip was going.
* Talked to my husband on the phone and assured him that I wasn’t worried at all.
* Texted with my daughter during the car parts of their journey (Her: I’m boooored! Me: Try talking to Otto…?) and enjoyed the radio silence that signified having-too-much-fun-to-talk during the non-car parts. (more…)

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It’s a little-known fact…

… that there are actually FIVE horsemen of the Apocalypse. No one really likes to talk about the fifth guy, though, because he doesn’t technically ride a horse. He rides an elliptical.

(He’s in killer shape, but has a hard time keeping up with the other four. You understand.)

I bring this up because I’ve apparently become one of those people who exercises. I’m not sure how it happened, but clearly it’s a sign of the Apocalypse. Before the world ends, I figured I would write about it for Alpha Mom. The end days are nigh! Thank goodness I’ll now have the stamina to run from the terror for a while.

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Gravity sucks

I’m having one of those “Oh, we are getting older and saggier and falling apart” sorts of weeks. To wit: I finally got my hair cut! It looks great! But I’m astounded anew by how gray it is. (Does that seem weird? I didn’t so much get my hair trimmed as I had it… de-bushed. Thinned/textured/layered, so that after the cut it was the same length as before but there was half as much of it. And for some reason the gray seems more prominent now. Because OLD.

Fortunately I am saved from feeling completely decrepit by the fact that Otto just got a new pair of glasses, and for the first time he’s gotten progressive lenses. His new frames are adorable—he’s always adorable, so that wasn’t hard—but he’s still getting used to to the lenses, so he spends a lot of time adjusting his head this way and that, and somehow watching him do that (okay, fine, laughing at him while he does that) is helping me to feel less old. Because at least I don’t have confusing glasses.

If I were smoother, now there would be a great segue here to encourage you to check out this this round-up of healthy dessert recipes I did for Alpha Mom, but all I can say is that there used to be a time when I could just eat an entire box of cookies and not gain an ounce, and that time… is long past. So now I have to be a little more judicious with my choices (without giving up dessert).

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Thawing out

Questions on my mind today:
1) Will the kids ever have school again?
2) Will Duncan ever stop being perplexed by snow and ice?
3) At what point do I have to stop eating potato chips and resume regular living?
4) How is it possible that we’ve been holed up for days and I’ve still accomplished absolutely nothing productive?

Truly, my mind is a deep philosophical well.

While we continue with storm clean-up, I have a great vegetarian stuffed pepper recipe over at Alpha Mom that even the resident carnivores love. I made it last weekend, before the storm hit, because once you’re iced in, you can’t be expected to cook anything more complicated than hot dogs. That’s the rule.

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Weekend update, citrus-scented for your enjoyment

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but my life is pretty exciting. Try not to be jealous.

On Friday I spent most of the day fruit-wrangling, because nothing says “marching band fundraiser” like a gazillion cases of fruit that need to be sorted and counted and loaded into people’s cars and such. I was killing a couple of birds with one stone, really, because Monkey and I both went in to help AND we had a couple of teacher meetings in preparation for his January start at Chickie’s school AND he got to hang out in the band room with some of the kids he’ll be in class with next semester, so it was all good, really.

It was just that after we did that, then we also had to spend the weekend delivering the fruit that Chickadee sold, along with everything else we were trying to get done this weekend. I love how the idea is that “the kids go out and fundraise,” but in reality—WEIRD!—cases of grapefruit are heavy and I can’t exactly just send her out with her little red wagon to go make deliveries. Especially because we do not have a little red wagon. (more…)

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Yeah, I have no idea where it comes from

You remember how surprised we were when Chickadee got her ADD diagnosis? All, “How in the world did THAT happen?” It’s a puzzle, truly. You could’ve knocked me over with the proverbial feather, at the time, and yet…

… yesterday I had a lot of work to get done and so of course by lunchtime I’d wandered into the kitchen and laid waste to about three pounds of butter. Huh.

But, uh, I was totally WORKING, see, because ’tis the season for baking, and I’ve got your holiday cookie recipes right here. I’m a giver. And that’s totally what I meant to do and was completely productive. Or something. Yes. Um. Can I offer you a cookie…?

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Happy post-Thanksgiving!

Black Friday is my day to get up wayyyyy too early and dish out the deals all day long over at Want Not. Just picture me in a long, flowing cape (I mean, I’m wearing my polka-dotted robe, and that’s practically the same thing…), bravely saving humanity from having to go out into the world to join the shopping madness, today. It’s a public service, really.

Our Thanksgiving was lovely. We had good friends, good food, and I was curious to see how Duncan would do with a houseful of people. As it was, we ate in the dining room while both dogs paced around the table, ever vigilant and hopeful. It was rather like being stalked by two small, furry sharks. Only more adorable and less terrifying.

While I’m busy shopping, you could head over to Alpha Mom to see what you should be doing with your Thanksgiving leftovers. I have an ulterior motive, really; I want some new recipes, and I suspect that will cause at least a few of you to offer up some goodies. Come lay it on me.

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Cook something yummy while I’m gone

There’s big doings afoot here today—maybe—well, it’s complicated, and I hope that tomorrow it will make a good story, but today I have to go do other things for a little bit. Plus I think it’s a D&D day, which means soon my house will be filled with nerdlings and dice and lots of words I don’t understand.

While I’m away, why not make your family a big pot of chili? I’m pretty sure I’ve linked to all of these recipes here before, but now you can go over to Alpha Mom and find all of my favorites in one handy spot, just in case you’re not sure what to have for dinner. We’re having Karen‘s turkey chili tonight, in fact. (Well, the meat-eaters are. Chickadee will have to find some leftover veggie chili in the freezer, or just whine loudly about how I clearly don’t love her. That’s always fun.)

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Sunrise, sunset, and the days in-between

This is where I tell you all of the fascinating things I’ve been doing lately which have kept me from writing here. If only I’d been leaping tall buildings in a single bound or rescuing kittens and babies from flaming buildings, or something.

In truth I find the days have been slipping away from me. Not in a bad way; after months of feeling like time was creeping by while I hated everyone and everything, I’m feeling better. Yay! And when I’m feeling better I cook and bake and volunteer at school and clean things and take the dog for walks. Good for living, not so interesting for writing, necessarily. (“We took the dog for a long sojourn. She seemed to enjoy pooping on the neighbor’s lawn, and then watching me carry a bag of her feces on our route.” POETRY!)

Today I tried a new cookie recipe and the cookies came out seriously ugly. But then my house filled up with teenagers and all of the cookies got eaten, and no one cared that they were ugly. Meanwhile I looked around and realized that some of these teenagers are mine and they’ll be leaving before I know it and then who will eat my ugly cookies? It’s enough to make a person want to write stories about carting around dog poop, instead.

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Making memories, scarring bystanders

So before I forget, allow me to direct you to my latest recipe over at Alpha Mom, the perfect option if you kind of secretly love old-fashioned chicken casserole type things but are 1) gluten-free, 2) a fan of spices other than salt, and 3) religiously opposed to recipes that involve canned soup. This one is our alternative to chicken pot pie, but it’s topped with (gluten-free) cornbread. If you’re not gluten-free, make the cornbread with regular flour; I don’t judge.

Also, have you ever noticed that sometimes you ask me questions, or say “hey, can we see a picture of that?” and I don’t answer or produce? It’s very rare that this is intentional. It’s a lot less “no, you can’t have that” and a lot more “sure, let me just… oh, cookies!” And sometimes it’s more that someone says something like, “Oh, what oil-controlling moisturizer do you use?” and I realize that I hate my oil-controlling moisturizer and don’t want to recommend it to anyone. Stuff like that.

But when I mention Otto taking pictures of something, y’all KNOW there’s photographic evidence. And despite the fact that he’s an awesome photographer, I am not the most photogenic person in the world all the time. (TRY TO CONCEAL YOUR SHOCK.) Most of the time, I don’t share pictures. But sometimes, I guess I must. (more…)

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