Woulda Coulda Shoulda

So. I told you that I went ahead and made a vision board this year, and I am simultaneously eager to share and feeling weirdly shy about it all, like maybe I will try to explain why it was so awesome and you’ll be all, “And? You… made a collage. Welcome to the arts and crafts shack, Mir, and next week we might let you churn your own ice cream.”

There are people who insist I must be a creative person because I’m a writer, and those people make me laugh, because when I think of creative I think of people who are WAY LESS TYPE-A than I am. Creative people go with the flow! They are in tune with the universe! They do not shriek at their children to PICK UP THIS MESS and hyperventilate when the week’s dinner plan is somehow thrown off course. Creative people are ZEN. Or so I tend to believe, anyway.

I am not Zen. I am most often the polar opposite of Zen. I am the person bitching at Zen, asking why it’s always LATE and why can’t it just HANG UP ITS COAT and why can’t it just CALL if plans change? Yeah.

In short, I believed that making vision boards is an activity for people who already know what they want and how to pursue it. But desperate times and all of that; I knew that I was sorely in need of at least an ATTEMPT to have a little chat with myself about, well, me. (more…)

I don’t have the words to tell you all how much it means to me when the Internet proves, once again, to be a place filled with kind and thoughtful and just plain NICE people. Yesterday I needed to let it all out, and I did; then my finger hovered over the “Publish” button as I wondered what backlash might be sent my way as a result. I published it anyway, and then wept grateful tears for most of the day as my inbox filled with lovely, compassionate comments. By the afternoon, I felt better. Lighter. Ready to keep going and keep knowing it will still be okay.

Thank you. I know it sounds corny, and I know we’re all more comfortable when I’m just calling you pretty and promising to send everyone a pony that poops glitter, but you are a gift, each and every one of you who takes the time to read and reach out. It means the world to me.

Yesterday afternoon, the doorbell rang. Now, I get various envelopes and packages almost every day, and yesterday I was 1) puffy-faced from crying and 2) still in my pajamas when the bell chimed and Licorice skittered across the entranceway barking like a lunatic. I decided I would just wait for the delivery guy to leave whatever it was, because I sure as heck wasn’t opening the door looking like that. (more…)

Our next group challenge at Five Full Plates is the I Dare You challenge—stuff that legends are made of. If, of course, the legends involve us all clinging to our old comfort zones, and kicking and screaming our ways towards personal growth and exploration and all of that sort of thing. But the five of us are committed to TAKING THE DARE for the next month or so, and the results are already verrrry interesting.

First Lydia started a rock band (no fooling). Then Joshilyn, who prefers to believe that everyone is smooth like a Ken doll under their clothes, shared the gory details of her recent surgery (and probably had her toes in a permanent curl the entire time) in order to ask folks to please donate blood. Poor Gray, who is still struggling with her health, allowed those who need it a bit of “the dog ate my homework” pass until next week. And Kira, who is most excellent at taking care of everyone else, has committed to doing something absolutely, 100% just for herself, even though it’s scary.

And me? Well, I’ve decided to say yes. I’ve decided to EMBRACE yes. Go on over and read about it if you want to find out how our family is going to be making big changes this year.