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Vroom vroom vroooooooom

I don’t think I ever posted about taking Chickadee to get her learner’s permit. We did it well ahead of when we let her start driving—much to her chagrin, because we are simply The Worst—and I guess it seemed like sort of a non-event? The most entertaining part was that it was a twofer—our Bonus Kid at the time who was about half a step above being an orphan also came along for permit-ing due to a lack of actual parental units willing to do the honors, and theoretically you have to be a relative to take a minor to the DMV for this stuff, so when asked if said kid was my child, I smiled and lied, claiming to be the aunt. Without batting an eyelash the clerk signed and stamped all the paperwork while the kids tried not to giggle.

We came home, took a dozen pictures of the two of them posing with their permits, and then neither of them actually learned how to drive. Kind of anti-climactic.

It was a good eight months later that we finally allowed Chickadee behind the wheel, and for the first four months of practice, it was slow going. She was terrified, for one thing, and for another, we’re still The Worst, setting up RIDICULOUS and UNFAIR rules like “be caught up on your schoolwork” and “treat family members with respect” and other such nonsense to earn a turn behind the wheel. It wasn’t until a couple months ago when she really started getting her crap together on a consistent basis that we moved to serious training. Nowadays, if we’re headed somewhere? I just toss her the keys and get in the passenger seat. We’ve both just gotten comfortable with this new status quo. (more…)

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Turn down for Flerp

I don’t know if you knew this, but today is a very special holiday. Just in case we all suddenly fell and hit our heads and forgot, my darling daughter made sure to note it on the family calendar pretty much the moment we flipped over to April.


That’s right—Flerp Derp hopes you are all observing International Flerp Day today. (Translation: It’s her birthday. Please to remit candy immediately.) (more…)

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Older, wiser, tireder

Sometimes I look back on things I’ve written before and just… cringe. It doesn’t happen too often, but still. Hindsight, growth, etc.

Because I am still trying to grow as a person and life still sometimes sucks, I wrote you a piece about taking care of yourself during a life crisis. I hope it is an improvement over the time I word-barfed about someone being thoughtless towards me during a difficult time. I think it is.

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Transcendental rubber cement

How did I become a vision board person? It’s still baffling to me. I am just about the most un-artsy-craftsy person I know, and yet, now that I’ve done this for a few years, it is without a doubt my very favorite new year’s tradition.

Granted, my OTHER new year’s traditions are 1) taking down the Christmas decorations, 2) vacuuming up bits of fake tree and fuzz from destroyed dog toys once said decorations are dispatched and 3) making large salads because none of my pants fit after The Month Of Eating, so it’s not like the bar was super-high, or anything. But still. I don’t know how I turned into someone who spends the better part of a day meditating with scissors and glue. It seems unlike me. And yet it is totally me, now.

Once again, Chickadee joined me, and the only big change this year was that we’d been madly scooping up free and cheap magazine subscriptions all year for just this purpose, so we had… roughly 100 magazines at our disposal. It was insane. I ended up cutting out way more than I actually used, which was fine, but about halfway through our session we were making comments to each other about how Oprah’s concept of a “bargain” was laughable and Martha’s ideas about “good things” should really be labeled “rich white lady with too much time on her hands” things. It’s all part of the process, dontchaknow.

[Have you been around for prior years’ vision boards? Here’s a retrospective, if you care: 2011’s board (my first one), 2013’s board (I missed 2012, whoops), and 2014’s creations (both mine and Chickie’s).] (more…)

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Did you know it was cold?

I’m sure it comes as a tremendous shock when I tell you that Hey, it’s cold outside. It’s not as though 1) it’s cold absolutely everywhere, and 2) the news is all OMG HIDE YOUR CHILDREN IT’S THE COLDPOCALYPSE!!1!!!

So yes, it’s cold out. (In other news: Water is wet. Amazing!) It’s so cold out, we didn’t have school today.

Today at Alpha Mom, I’m telling you why this is all my fault. And I’m only sort of sorry.

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Everything is just fine. WEIRD.

School started up again today, and this morning was pretty much a study in the different personality types in our household.

I ran around at a frenetic pace, packing lunches and asking the same questions over and over (“Do you have…” “Did you remember…” “But what if you…”) until Chickadee told me to “stop freaking out.” (I did not, in fact, stop freaking out. I just tried to be a little less obvious.)

Monkey bounced his way through the morning, communing with the dogs acting like today was no big deal at all, like he wasn’t just heading off to high school for the first time or anything.

Chickadee dawdled and kept assuring me “I’ve got this” and responded to my four “WHY AREN’T YOU IN THE SHOWER YET??” queries with, “Why aren’t YOU in the shower?” (Answer: Because I already showered. Also, STOPPIT.)

Otto ate his cereal and read the news and observed his family spinning around him as if it’s still somewhat confusing to him, how he ended up surrounded by all of us.

In other words, it was a perfectly normal morning except then both kids went to school and Monkey was amazing and I am kind of a mess (a hopeful mess, you understand) so we are not going to talk about that. (more…)

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BRB, getting my woo-woo on

Happy New Year’s Eve day! We are planning a schedule of complete debauchery today, as you might expect from party animals such as ourselves. Why, we’re going to unload the dishwasher AND reload it! Later on tonight there might be popcorn! It’s a veritable bacchanalia at Casa Mir.

I’m not terribly sad to see 2013 go. 2012 was flat-out awful, so 2013 was definitely an improvement, don’t get me wrong. But let’s just say I hope 2014 brings further improvements. Or at least more sleep. Either way.

Today at Alpha Mom I’m sharing why I do what I do to ring in the new year. No fancy resolutions or bucket lists for me, just a few hours of letting my subconscious do some arts and crafts. It seems to work.

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Not about being able to touch your toes

Today feels bittersweet—I’ve written my last post for Feel More Better, and I can’t believe it’s been two years.

I’m a different person now than I was when I started writing there. But I still believe in their mission and think this idea of “finding your happy” may sound silly/light/fluffy, but is actually the key to everything. I’m so honored I got to be a part of it, and I know they’ll keep on spreading love, challenging stereotypes, and calling bullshit where appropriate.

As for me, I’ll keep on working on myself, but I’m grateful for the lessons I’m learning, however slowly (I am a slow learner when it comes to this growing-as-a-person thing). The key, I think, is flexibility. Come on over and tell me what you’ve learned, one last time?

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Shut up, hindsight

One of the interesting side effects of having cut waaaaaaaay back on working and marketing myself last year is that I am no longer a Hot Internet Commodity. Bloggers are a dime a dozen, after all, and the thing is, I always had really mixed feelings about that whole Hot Internet Commodity thing, anyway. So now I’m doing all of this Restructuring and Goal-Setting and Planning For The Future and blah blah blah (wake up! I’m getting to a point here!) and trying to decide whether I even WANT to “raise my visibility” to where it used to be.

Even writing that out makes me want to punch myself in the face. I never did any of this because I wanted to Be Someone. I think a lot of people do it to gain some sort of fame/notoriety, but I also think more people than you might guess are more like me—there’s a love of storytelling, an impulse to write, and an oft-whispered wish that mostly, you are just normal, and therefore, forgettable.

So next week I’m going to do an Interview Thing, and I don’t do a lot in the way of actual on-camera stuff, EVER, and I told myself I should do this thing because it’s good practice for me and will give me another recent something to add to the resume as I ramp back up, work-wise, but over the last two days I realized that’s not why I want to do it. I want to do it because I feel like I need to do some penance. (more…)

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Good riddance, 2012

I feel like I could make with OH SO MANY WORDS about the suckage of 2012, but frankly I am sick of it and have no desire to rehash. If you were here, you already know. If you weren’t, well, I guess we could do an in-a-nutshell retrospective as a sidebar if I could do one for real.

[I can’t do a real sidebar, so here’s a fake one. Sidebar: 2012 sucked hairy donkey balls. Chickadee spent half the year in the hospital and I spent months fighting for Medicaid coverage for her while fighting for decent treatment, and then she decided to go live with her dad. (Single bright spot during that: You all helped me do an amazing thing for the hospital and I love you for it.) Otto’s car imploded in Atlanta one day and then we had to rush Monkey to the ER with suspected appendicitis and my mother-in-law passed away. For further hilarity, I then broke my hand on an apple and became bionic. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, we capped it all off with it seeming like Licorice might be deathly ill (though, fortunately, that one turned out okay). It was kind of A Year, is all I’m saying.]

Was there ever a year I was so happy to see end? I can’t think of one. Though we all know that the human brain is a miraculous thing; if there HAS been a year similarly awful, I have clearly repressed it. Lalalalala! I can’t heeeeeear you! I look forward to this year’s razor-sharp edges dulling in my mind, as well. The sooner the better.

Naturally, there was nothing left to do but get my woo-woo on. (more…)

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