July 8, 2008 | Growing, Ottomatic For the People

One of the things that inevitably happens when you spend time with a friend who’s known you for a long time is that you talk about the past, right? It happens to all of us. And it’s inevitable that when I spend time with Kira, we cannot help but marvel about what a long, strange trip it’s been.

When we first started talking, four years ago, we were both in a place of grim determination, I think. I know I was. It was emphatically NOT a place where we’d overcome adversity and knew that a better life was coming. It was more of a place where we’d overcome adversity and we were just hoping that it wouldn’t always be quite so HARD, all of the time. We were okay, I guess (some days we were more okay than others), but it would be a stretch to say that we were HAPPY. We were… MANAGING. Some days we were even HOPEFUL. But comparing life back then with life now is less apples and oranges and more moldy bread crusts vs. a ten-foot-high chocolate fountain. A CALORIE-FREE chocolate fountain. (more…)

July 7, 2008 | Friends, I'm dating the television

My husband and my Kira just left for the airport, and try though I did to come up with some sort of viable diversion (”Um, someone stole both of our cars! And there is only one flight from Atlanta to Denver each month so I guess that’s that!”), in the end Kira opted to return home to her family rather than staying here with me forever. That bitch.

I love her to pieces. Just in case that wasn’t clear. You know, because I am so shy and hesitant to share my feelings. I do think Otto is a little relieved that the rampant and random declarations of love are going to cease. For some weird reason it’s okay with him if I spontaneously declare my love for HIM, but he seemed uncomfortable when I felt the need to turn to Kira and say “I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH.” I don’t know what his problem is. It’s probably because he wasn’t breastfed.

ANYWAY, as I mentioned before, it was a very busy weekend, and we were driving to the airport to get Kira and then driving out to Joshilyn’s for the 4th of July and then back here and then the kids left and really, it was just busy and exhausting. Which is probably how it came to be that last night we found ourselves just parked on the recliner couch watching horrible television. (more…)

July 5, 2008 | Friends, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I’m sure I could be more exhausted, both from lack of enough sleep and from laughing so hard, but I’m not sure how. We’ve been in a whirlwind of sociability—first picking up Kira from the airport and then heading over to Joss‘ for the 4th of July—and while I am delirious with the joy of it all, somehow I have been required to get up and put on clothes for multiple days in a row, and I am just TIRED from it.

It’s possible I need to do this more often.

Anyway, the last time that Kira and Joshilyn and I were all three together was three years ago, during a very different time indeed. This gathering was reminiscent of the other in that there were some familiar players, like chocolate and wine, but it does rather feel like we last convened a millennium ago, back when the earth was still dark. Everything is different now, or at least it seems to be while my son and Joss’ Sam are running around discussing Pokemon with a life-or-death sort of fervor. (more…)

July 3, 2008 | Ottomatic For the People

When I was discussing the dilemma of keeping my tomatoes watered in this post, many of you suggested that we invest in a rain barrel. This made me giggle, every single time, but it also made me realize that I hadn’t yet told you the Story of the Rain Barrel. (I also hadn’t told you that county restrictions have been so tight that they forbid even the use of greywater except during certain days and hours, assumedly because the authorities are not interested in having an argument with you about where that water came from and whether you can prove it.)

Anyway, yes, a rain barrel is an EXCELLENT IDEA, and one we started talking about a year ago, when we first moved into this house. It’s green! It’s environmentally responsible! It’s simple enough, and by “simple enough” I mean “something that Otto can figure out while I read my email.” (more…)

July 2, 2008 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I have been pretty good, I think, about sitting on my hands when it comes to how our new summer schedule is working out for everyone. I have been trying to take that old expression about not saying anything if I don’t have anything nice to say to heart, a bit more, you see. Also, I’ve been trying some of that positive thinking thing I always hear people talking about, where I don’t dwell on things that are unpleasant, but rather focus on the GOOD and therefore, in this case, the IMAGINARY.

This summer sucks donkey balls, quite frankly. Now you know.

The stress level ’round here is palpable, and try as I might to get a handle on my emotions, the two very small and stressed-out people scurrying around here are a constant reminder of how much this situation just blows for everyone involved. (more…)

July 1, 2008 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Offspring: ecstasy and agony

One of the first things we did after moving down here, last year, was to start the kids in piano lessons. It was something we’d talked about for a long time, and logistics just never seemed to work out when we lived up north, but we have a highly-recommended teacher nearby, here, and so we were finally able to get them started.

Now, when we first went to the studio, one of the first things the teacher asked me was if the children have “a decent instrument” at home on which to practice. “Sure!” I said. “We have an electric keyboard!” (I did not mention that the kids love to set it to piccolo and play “hot cross buns” until I stab a pen into my eardrum.)

“And that’s a full-size?” He asked me, leaning forward as if we were discussing a peace treaty.

“It’s… ummm… about this big…?” I held out my hands, and he all but smacked his forehead. (more…)