So. Um. Yeah.

by Mir on January 26, 2012 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

I can’t remember where I got it from… a long ago friend started it, I think… but there used to be a group of us who would follow any awkward silence or unprecedented/weird turn of conversation with, “Hey, did you catch that game? You know… the one… they play with… that ball?” None of us were sports fans, and it was basically just code for “Ooooooh, awkward. Moving on!”

That is how I’m currently feeling. Did you catch that game?

I would like to walk away from the computer for a few days or a week and not talk or write for a while, as 2012 continues to kick my ass so hard I’m beginning to shift from “2013 will be better” to “just survive until 2013.” It is rare for me to hit a patch so difficult I can’t even write my way through it, but that’s kind of where I am.

“You can’t just let the blog go dark,” Otto said to me, as we discussed the possibilities. He grinned and added, “The rumor mill will start up! People will assume we’re getting divorced!” We laughed, then, just for a second.

So: We’re fine. Otto remains my rock and my favorite. We’re all going to get through this latest set of hurdles and be okay. I believe that with every fiber of my being that controls my INTELLECTUAL brain-pieces. My EMOTIONAL brain-pieces are not faring quite so well, however, and they just need a brief break. Bear with me for a few days, please.

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Comments { 113 }

So a few of you have asked…

by Mir on January 24, 2012 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

… how The Vagina Monologues is going. It’s going! I am rusty, much rustier than I expected. I mean, sure, getting up on stage is just like riding a bike in that I guess you kind of have this kinesthetic memory that doesn’t forget how it all works, but on the other hand, I’m guessing that if you hadn’t ridden a bike for twenty years and then hopped on one, it wouldn’t be the smoothest ride, either. I’m working on it (and feeling ooooold).

But! The people are great, the show is fabulous, and I am having oodles of fun. Also: I now own faux-snakeskin skinny jeans. YES. Purchased specifically for the show, though it is my teenager’s deepest fear that I will spontaneously go all cougar and wear them out in public at random, for the express purpose of mortifying her. (Otto did get a funny little glint in his eye when I modeled them for him, but still, not gonna happen.)

While I’m telling you about the show, though, I’ll direct you over to my post today at Off Our Chests—I’m thinking about the implications of certain words and what it may mean to rethink some of our assumptions. (Hint: female anatomy ahoy, y’all.)

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Comments { 9 }

It’s not contagious

by Mir on January 23, 2012 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Ottomatic For the People

We had a pretty uneventful weekend, here. We watched football (go Patriots!). We grumbled about the weather. I swore I was going to do laundry and go grocery shopping and then I did lots of laundry but neglected to go grocery shopping, which meant that this morning I packed everyone a delicious lunch of various odds and ends, and have hereby sworn that TODAY, no really, today, I SWEAR, I’ll go get groceries.

The kids saw their dad. Chickadee’s quiz bowl team defeated their most loathed rival team at Regionals but ultimately didn’t go on to State. While they were doing that, I was at play rehearsal and Otto staked out the District Science Fair, where all the kids who were busy at the Bowl were winning at the Fair but couldn’t be there. (Chickadee’s project—which was a DRAHHHMAAAAHHH of epic proportions for several months—has now taken first place in category at both school and district levels, and she is now on to Regionals still vowing that nothing less than first place will do. So glad she’s not putting any pressure on herself. Ahem.)

Otto and I didn’t do anything special, really. We shuffled the kids around and worked in our respective offices and played with the dog and ate popcorn and tended to the minutiae of daily life, and never once did I stop to think OMG OUR MARRIAGE COULD IMPLODE AT ANY MOMENT. (more…)

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Comments { 48 }

Lost dogs and four-pawed messages

by Mir on January 19, 2012 in Aspi(e)rations, Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Oh look! Something furry!!

I may have mentioned before that sometimes there’s a dog at Hippie School; the director was bringing her almost every day, for a while. This dog and Monkey immediately became the best of friends, because Monkey loves animals and Star is a saintly paragon of patience when it comes to children flinging themselves all over her.

It was reported to me on more than one occasion that when Monkey was having a difficult time, either he would spontaneously go bury his face in Star or she would go to him and sit on his feet. (It must be noted here that Licorice is also very patient with Monkey, but at 12 pounds, it’s not as though she can actually anchor him the way a large dog can, and that’s aside from the fact that if he’s truly freaking out, she gets scared.) Just one more benefit of Hippie School, right?

One day last week Monkey came home absolutely despondent. “Star ran away,” he told me, eyes brimming with tears. “She was probably just chasing something and got lost. She didn’t come back.” (more…)

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Comments { 64 }

Picture me holding a lighter in solidarity

by Mir on January 18, 2012 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

Hey, guess what. I like the Internet. I like freedom of speech. I do not like SOPA or PIPA.

Rather than blacking out my site or lecturing you, allow me to refer you to The Oatmeal’s excellent explanation of why this matters. Enjoy.

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Comments { 16 }

Kids today, man

by Mir on January 17, 2012 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Offspring: ecstasy and agony

In the midst of angst and hand-wringing, I sometimes find it helpful to remember that my kids have survived worse. Even more comforting, in a bizarro sort of way, is remembering that I survived MUCH worse, and what’s more, back then—in the Stone Age, you know—no one even though it was much of a big deal.

Clearly I just need to toughen these kids up. Put ‘em to work, maybe, or force them to walk to school in the snow. Except we don’t have any snow, and nowadays that would probably be considered child abuse. Heh.

Today I’m over at Off Our Chests, reflecting on some differences between my childhood and theirs, and how it either means everything is going to work out okay, or maybe just that they should get off my lawn. Either way. Come on over and weigh in.

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Comments { 1 }

Another monkey wrench (Monkey wrench?)

by Mir on January 16, 2012 in Aspi(e)rations, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

First: A health update! Thank you so much to everyone who had such kind words and thoughts for my sweet mother-in-law; once again, she fooled us all. She’s out of the ICU and doing much better. This is good news because we love her, but excellent news because I don’t think Otto could’ve taken it if things had gone differently. (Although I didn’t mention this in the last post, while waiting on updates on my mother-in-law, we unfortunately lost two other magnificent folks—their deaths weren’t unexpected, but were still way too soon. “They” say bad things come in threes, and for once I was VERY VERY GLAD that they are dirty stinking liars.)

So. What could POSSIBLY be better than sickness and death? I MEAN REALLY? We started off the year with a real bang in the stressors department, and by any measure of stress and “life challenges” one would probably think this was enough, no? I certainly would’ve checked the “FULL UP ON ANGST, THANKS” box, had I been polled on the matter.

[Sidebar: I WAS NOT POLLED. Still bitter, frankly.]

Well, death and sickness was not to be the entire story for this, my VERY FAVORITE January. Nope! I picked Monkey and Mario up from Hippie School one day and Teresa asked me to call her “when I had a sec” after I got home. (more…)

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Comments { 63 }

2013, man. Twenty. Thirteen.

by Mir on January 12, 2012 in My name is Grumplestiltskin

In 2010, Monkey had a seizure, and I spent about three weeks completely convinced that he had a brain tumor. Otto and I lay in bed at night, holding hands, talking quietly about the “what if”s and sometimes about nothing very important, just because neither of us could sleep and it was comforting to whisper in the dark, together. Then the flu tore through the house the next month, causing us to cancel our holiday trip, and our battle cry became “2011!” As in, “2011 is gonna be our year!”

Well, 2011 was good in that we found out that Monkey didn’t have a tumor and wasn’t dying. That was VERY good. But he did stay out of school for about a month, before/during/after surgery, and then there was the whole ZOMG WHERE IS HE GOING TO SCHOOL NEXT YEAR thing, and other stuff happened, and blah blah blah, whatever; we changed the rallying cry to “2012! That’s going to be our year!”

We were about 5 days in to the new year when Otto changed it to “2013! 2013 FOR SURE!” And Otto is the optimist in this couple, as you know, so… things are Not Good. (more…)

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Comments { 77 }

Yep, it’s another menstruation-themed post

by Mir on January 10, 2012 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

But at least today I’m not putting it here. It’s actually over at Off Our Chests, because writing about our little saga this weekend got me thinking about various tampon-related issues from my youth.

Or, rather, the youth of those who honestly had no clue what was going on when they finally came of age.

C’mon over and join the conversation. I happen to know from yesterday’s post that y’all have PLENTY of stories to share.

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Comments { 4 }

PSA: Kotex Security tampons

by Mir on January 9, 2012 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

“I would never blog this,” I told her, after.

“What? You HAVE to blog about it!” she said. “People should KNOW. It’s DANGEROUS.” I asked if she was sure, and she said yes. So please be mindful of the fact that my easily-mortified teenager gave me the green light on this one, and let’s acknowledge first and foremost that she 1) is a rockstar for overcoming possible embarrassment to let me share and 2) has delicate little feelings which I would ask you not to hurt if you feel the need to comment. Also, if you are male and ESPECIALLY if you are related to my teenager (Otto, my dad, and her dad who is pretending not to read my blog), maybe skip this one.

To begin our story, let us hearken back to the days of young teenage Mir. It was a different place, a different time. (Namely, it was the Stone Age.) When I got my first period I was ABSOLUTELY THRILLED (why? I don’t know), and I also used tampons right from the beginning and thought it was no big deal.

But my girl and I are a little different in this respect. (more…)

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Comments { 107 }
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