I'm doing an experiment this summer, though saying it like that makes it sound like I'm being all official and science-y, when in reality I am just trying to embrace my inner sloth. Here it is: I'm trying not to work on the weekends. WEIRD, RIGHT?? I tend to suffer from a common affliction called "freelance creep;" sure, I sleep a little later on the weekends, but I find myself using those weekend days to catch up on things I somehow didn't finish during the week. It sounds innocuous, but then I find myself sitting at the computer for hours and I hear that just walking away from work for a...
3:01 AM: Huh. I appear to be awake. 3:03 AM: I'm still awake. Do I have to pee? Maybe I have to pee. I think I have to pee. But if I get up, then I'll never fall asleep again. 3:05 AM: I probably don't really have to pee. If I just lie here quietly I'm sure I'll fall back asleep. 3:10 AM: Do I have to pee? 3:15 AM: Does Otto snore this loud all the time and usually I'm asleep, or am I awake because JESUS CHRIST I AM SLEEPING WITH A LAWN MOWER? 3:16 AM: He's adorable when he's snoring, though. 3:17 AM: Do I have to pee? 3:18 AM: No, sure, fine, just keep on peacefully sleeping while I stare...
Hey, how about we don't talk about that thing. Or that other thing, either. Okay! Great! I've been spending a lot of time with my vegetables. Quality time, you understand. I pull grass up out of the boxes a blade or two at a time and marvel at the plants that flourish seemingly in spite of me and try to coax the puny ones back to vigor. It's very soothing. In the meantime, I can't help but notice how beautiful our big oak out back looks when reflected in the swampy murk that is currently the pool: If I were a deeper person I'd probably make a comment about seeing beauty even in what's...
Remember when Georgia was in a drought? And whenever it rained, people all but danced in the streets? Good times, man. Good times. Er, technically we are still in a drought. I don't know who decides this or how they determine that we are no longer... ummm... drought-y, but TECHNICALLY we are still in a drought. Even though it's been raining for upwards of a month, now. (It has not really been raining for a month. I mean, it has, but not continually. It just feels that way.) (Are you there, God? It's me, Mir. I would like my hair to stop being the size and style of a full-grown poodle perched...
"I'll take Mir and Otto's Adventures in Home Ownership for $200, Alex." "And the answer is: No." "I'm... sorry? That's the whole answer?" "Yes. The answer is No." "Okay. Um... what is Can we ever do a single, simple project around here without it turning into a complete clusterfuck?" "Correct! On the board!" "Yeah, screw you, Alex. Screw you AND your stupid board." So, um, I've decided to believe that the universe decided I really needed a distraction right about now. It's a gift, really. The gift of dumbfuckery, right here in our yard. WE ARE SO LUCKY, because trust me, it's been a...
Otto and I were having some quality time on the couch last night, by which I mean that we were each sitting there on our respective laptops while half web-surfing and half watching the news because WOW, the news last night, yeesh. Typical Friday night, in other words. (Uh, except for the fugitive in a boat part. That was not typical, just the part where we were on the couch. Obviously.) ANYWAY. I don't remember when I was doing online. Probably I was on Facebook; more specifically, probably I was on Facebook playing Scrabble. (According to Monkey, that's all I ever do, you know.) But Otto,...
New thing: Hey, uh, lollipops and unicorns to everyone who welcomed my debut on Alpha Mom so warmly yesterday. I was hoping for a modest showing and apparently there are a lot more marching band devotees out there than I realized. (As in, the word "viral" was used and I had a giddy moment of amazement.) It was a lovely, lovely way to start off a new gig, although I am kind of having palpitations over what I can write about next week that won't seem like a letdown, in comparison. Maybe I'll have to attend the Incendiary School Of Post Writing so favored by a number of outlets and follow up...
Okay, "wondrous" might be overselling it a bit. There are varying degrees of wondrous. Like, there's a whole spectrum of interesting that spans all the way from "truly wondrous" on down to "WTFness." And I will leave it to you to place the following along that continuum as needed. [Sidebar: Let us pause for a moment to acknowledge that anything you hear from me today or for the next several weeks will be completely allergy-addled. I woke up this morning and had to chisel my face open. For a few minutes I thought maybe I had pinkeye, but no, it's just regular ol' allergies. I guess....
Yesterday was a full day; the sun was shining, we had a lot of going and doing and seeing people and enjoying the outdoors and whatnot. Eventually I went out with a friend for a girls' dinner, then came home and Otto left to go watch basketball with some friends. (Tag-team parenting is my favorite.) I hung out with both kids, then Monkey went to bed and Chickadee and I watched some TV together and then she went to bed. I puttered around for a bit and then went to get ready for bed, myself. The older you get, the longer your nighttime routine becomes. Right, ladies? I used to brush my teeth...
