Woulda Coulda Shoulda

I can’t remember where I got it from… a long ago friend started it, I think… but there used to be a group of us who would follow any awkward silence or unprecedented/weird turn of conversation with, “Hey, did you catch that game? You know… the one… they play with… that ball?” None of us were sports fans, and it was basically just code for “Ooooooh, awkward. Moving on!”

That is how I’m currently feeling. Did you catch that game?

I would like to walk away from the computer for a few days or a week and not talk or write for a while, as 2012 continues to kick my ass so hard I’m beginning to shift from “2013 will be better” to “just survive until 2013.” It is rare for me to hit a patch so difficult I can’t even write my way through it, but that’s kind of where I am.

“You can’t just let the blog go dark,” Otto said to me, as we discussed the possibilities. He grinned and added, “The rumor mill will start up! People will assume we’re getting divorced!” We laughed, then, just for a second.

So: We’re fine. Otto remains my rock and my favorite. We’re all going to get through this latest set of hurdles and be okay. I believe that with every fiber of my being that controls my INTELLECTUAL brain-pieces. My EMOTIONAL brain-pieces are not faring quite so well, however, and they just need a brief break. Bear with me for a few days, please.

Is there anything better than arriving home after a trip and collapsing into your own bed? I contend that there is not. Especially if you’ve just driven 900+ miles in a single day and haven’t yet realized that following that delicious night of sleep in your own space you’ll be dealing with The Holiday That Threw Up All Over The House And Also Two Weeks Worth Of Mail And Packages And By The Way The Children Are Still Sick.

Needless to say, last night was delicious. It was around midnight by the time we’d arrived home, dispatched the children upstairs, and unloaded the clown-car-esque packing job my husband managed to do with our vehicle full of Christmas Cheer. We then drifted off in our own gigantic bed (I love my parents dearly, and the guest bed at their house is actually pretty comfy, but the difference between a King and a Full is… substantial), and my last thought before sleep overtook me was, “There’s no place like home.”

Of course, later I woke up to discover that Licorice was stealing all the covers, and as I tugged at the blanket in annoyance, THEN everything was back to normal. (more…)

I’m over at Off Our Chests today, decompressing from Christmas.

(Still not dead, Dad.)

Honestly, I feel like that one single viewing of “The Virgin Diaries” has scarred me forever. I cannot get the awkward images out of my head. I just feel so sorry for those people.

So what do I do when I can’t stop thinking about something? I write about it some more! But don’t worry—fewer cringe-worthy moments in my Off Our Chest post, as today I’m really just thinking about first kisses, and I promise that my first kiss was WAY less horrifying than the one they showed on TLC.

Come on over and join the discussion, won’t you?

As if blogging my day-to-day maladjustedness isn’t enough (huh, my spellcheck is insisting that’s not a world, but spellcheck, I can assure you that I am living proof that it CERTAINLY IS), I really have to give a big ol’ shout-out to Off Our Chests for giving me the weekly opportunity to dredge up the many embarrassments from my past, as well.

Because, really, what’s the point of being a completely mortified dork time and time again unless you can share it with the whole Internet? Exactly!

So my offering today is all about how I once ended up unintentionally flashing my entire class. Because of course I did. Come on over and cringe with me, I don’t mind.