[But first, we interrupt this post for a Very Important News Flash: It's that time again! Go! Read! Write! Win a book!] I have to say, I'm having a real love/hate relationship with Tae Kwon Do. That in itself is pretty funny, considering that I'm not the one taking classes. And I'm surrounded by friends whose children are doing Little League right now, whose voicemails chirp "I'm not here, probably because we're out on the field!" Class is twice a week. This shouldn't be a big deal. And yet, I had such high hopes when Chickadee really took to the discipline. In the beginning, "Tae Kwon Do"...
Huck: Baron Baptiste? Seriously? No wonder your mom's so weird, Monkey. Rainboy: LOOK AT MY CARDS I HAVE THESE POKEMON CARDS AND YOU SHOULD LOOK AT THEM CUZ I HAVE THEM RIGHT HERE THE POKEMON CARDS I HAVE LOOK! Monkey: Um, if you two stop talking for a minute, my mom's eye might stop twitching and then maybe she'll give us cookies. Your turn!
When I agreed to a sleepover extravaganza, I thought I was being very clever, and here is why: I offered a "regular" party with the typical dozen guests, or a sleepover with just two friends. Just two friends! I was going to get off easy! Having just one friend sleep over didn't seem very party-like, and the thought of having more than two other kids here for 12+ hours made me want to curl into the fetal position in the corner. But I had forgotten what happens in a group of three. You might argue that this was fitting, seeing as how I'd also forgotten how much I dislike dealing with other...
Lo, daylight did break, except not really, because daylight didn't so much "break" as it did "half-heartedly glow grey" behind all the rain. Monkey climbed into bed with me at 5:30. "Ohhhhh, Buddy, nonono. Too early to get up." My face may have been buried in the pillow. It may have come out "Ohhhhh, Buddy, mmphffgg. Ooo errmph et mph." He patted my hair. "I'll just sleep a little right here," he assured me. "Happy Mother's Day!" And then he sprawled out in the middle of the bed and poked his icy cold feet into my crotch. My day, indeed. The festivities continued when Chickadee joined us at...
So! The party, as I mentioned, was a complete success. A good time was had by all, as long as we're not counting Monkey. Monkey had a good time unless he didn't "get" what was being taught (40% of the time) or was "out" at a game being played (30% of the time) or he was remembering that in fact, he hasn't even HAD his birthday party yet, and his birthday was ALL THE WAY BACK IN JANUARY MANY MOONS AGO (29% of the time). But, if you were not Monkey, and you were hanging out at the Tae Kwon Do studio with us, you were having a blast. There is something charming and ridiculous and breathtaking...
I owe you a real entry, I do, but I can't do it right now. The party was awesome. When I get my pictures off the camera, perhaps I will post a few. The samurai sword cake cutting was particularly impressive. I feel so inadequate, now, cutting cake with a regular knife... Did you know that I am up to walking about 6 miles in an hour and a half pretty regularly, now? Did you know that walking 6+ miles with an 8-year-old takes closer to 3 hours and is, for some reason, MUCH more exhausting? Did you know that an 8-year-old who complains about being tired, and hot, and having aching feet, and not...
Memo to my son: As I tell you nearly every day, there's no out-loving your mother. I love you completely, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. Nothing you could do will ever change that. At this particular point in your career, you should be very grateful for this unconditionality. Just sayin'. P.S. Diet cherry coke cannot enable you to fly. Once upon a time, I had Monkey all figured out. Oh, sure; Chickadee is complicated (an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, covered in... something... probably something sticky, knowing her), but Monkey was my simple child. Always happy. Easy to...
We are home, and I am exhausted. Rather than regale you with stories of our adventures on the road, I shall heed the siren song of my pillow. It missed me terribly, you know. But, um, to anyone who was at the Guilderland rest stop around noon today: If you heard a piercing scream and wondered if someone was being dismembered, I offer you my deepest and most sincere apologies and hope that normal hearing returns to you as soon as possible (and that all of the shattering glass didn't interfere with your enjoyment of that Auntie Anne's pretzel). Who wants to bet that the creator of...
Me: Oh, we could go have sushi tonight! Grandpa: Good idea! We'll do that. Chickadee: Sushi! YAY! Monkey: *flinging himself spread-eagled to the floor* THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END! (It must have been his dish of green tea ice cream that staved off the apocalypse.)
