Bed sweet bed

By Mir
April 26, 2006

We are home, and I am exhausted. Rather than regale you with stories of our adventures on the road, I shall heed the siren song of my pillow. It missed me terribly, you know.

But, um, to anyone who was at the Guilderland rest stop around noon today: If you heard a piercing scream and wondered if someone was being dismembered, I offer you my deepest and most sincere apologies and hope that normal hearing returns to you as soon as possible (and that all of the shattering glass didn’t interfere with your enjoyment of that Auntie Anne’s pretzel).

Who wants to bet that the creator of automatic-flush toilets didn’t have small children?


  1. Susan

    Charlie LOVES those toilets; he will sit up there and wiggle his little butt back and forth to see how many times he can get the thing to flush before he gets down.

    Now that I read that, I can see just how weird it really is . . . Welcome home!

  2. shannon

    And this is why I love to make sure the sheets are clean and the beds are made when I leave on vacation too. Because you come home to new sheets after sleeping in not your bed. It’s a beautiful thing to fall into your clean and ready bed.

  3. Cele

    I am so with Shannon on the clean, fresh sheets for homecoming is like a gift to yourself.

    Welcome home

  4. Heather

    Ooh I love fresh sheets. I meant to do a load of sheets and towels today, but didn’t. Because I’m silly.
    But those auto-flushing toilets? Totally freak me out too.

  5. Irene

    oh. my. God. that actually happened to me when I was visiting London with my family this month. and yes, piercing screams were involved too.

  6. Marly

    My daughter was about 4 when she first encountered an automatic flush toilet. It flushed just as she was standing up. She literally jumped about five feet across the room. (I am not exaggerating). Now anytime we go where there is an auto-flush, I have to cover the sensor while she goes and wait for her to get as far as she can from the toilet before I move my hand to let the toilet flush.

  7. radioactive girl

    Oh those automatic toilets. We were well on our way to potty training my older son when my mother in law took him out and he had to use one of those evil things. He completely refused to use *any* toilet, automatic or not, for several months. My mother in law felt terrible, and to this day still apologizes for it. He is almost 6 now, doesn’t like me to see him naked any longer, but makes the exception for me to cover the sensor when he has to use an automatic flusher! I think at the very least, there should be a warning sign on them!

  8. Jenn2

    Welcome home! I agree with all above. Fresh sheets are like gameboys and weed. For me anyway. Yes, I change my sheets three times a week. Shut up.

  9. Zuska

    Yes, but auto flush toilets have NOTHING on those ULTRA-STRONG blowers that are supposed to dry your hands but end up making your skin ripple – have you ever encountered one of those? Scared the heck out of CurlyGirl many moons ago.

    Welcome home!

  10. Stephanie Chance

    On the subject of potties, my daughter fell in the potty at preschool and once at our house when she forgot to put her seat on. For a long time, she was terrified of potties and refused to go anywhere but in our potty at home with her seat with me holding her. When we were on a trip in Atlanta, three hours away from home, she wanted to go home to use the potty instead of use the one in the hotel. I can only get her to use the potty away from home by holding her in a bear hug and constantly reassuring her that I won’t let her fall in. Other than carrying her potty seat with us everywhere we went, which I decided against because that’s, um, pretty gross.

  11. marlen

    My daughter HATES those toilets! She freaks every time we go in a bathroom that has those. I feel your pain. But at least you got to come home to fresh sheets.

  12. janie

    Oh my goodness! My 8 year old is deathly afraid of public toilets, especially the auto flush ones. She was willingly to totally miss Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in the movie theatre WITH popcorn and raisinets and sit in the mini van with me, just to avoid using one. The child hadn’t gone to the bathroom in 4 hours!!!! My husband said the looks on women’s faces coming out of the bathroom where she was screaming like I had asked her to pick up a live rattlesnake were priceless. Yeah. I feel your pain.

  13. Nothing But Bonfires

    Ooh, I hope you didn’t lose a child to one of those toilets; that would have been awfully inconvenient. Fewer sheets to change next time, though.

  14. Shiz

    Dear Lord that makes me wonder what sweet hell was in this place called Guilderland. So relieved to hear you’ve made it out alive.

  15. ben

    My daughter loves the air dryers and turns it into a full-body experience. If you haven’t seen a child tap dancing while her hair is being blown every which way, well, you probably weren’t sharing a truck stop with us.

    And for the sheets? What sucks is when the cat gets sick while you are away.

    The people in Florence heard the scream from Guilder but decided that they were only “mostly dead” so didn’t pay too much attention.

  16. Kristen

    I have a 2 year old on the verge of being potty-trained. We haven’t yet encounted this particular situation, but it never would have occurred to me that it might be a problem. Thanks for the heads-up!

    I’ve been reading your blog for just a few weeks now, and I think it’s really entertaining. Thanks!

  17. hollygee

    Oooooo, I see from Breed ’em and Weep that you are going to be in the audience at the preview of LIKE HOME. I wish that I could be there, too, so please enjoy for all of us.

  18. Sabrina

    No kidding! My daughter freaks out at Walmart with those things and will run out the stall after jumps off with her pants at her ankles infront of everyone. She could care less about that, as long as the toilet doesn’t get her.

  19. Crazedmomof4

    My pillow calls out my name when I’m away from home & really tired!

    Those truck stop toilets are awful, we use to have 5 kids but things happen.
    But seriously, they scare me too!

  20. Lisa

    Ha. Yes, my daughter too was deathly afraidof those automatic flushers for the longest time. Since we had passes to Disneyland, I can tell you exactly which restrooms are safe to use, meaning they have manual flushes…

Things I Might Once Have Said


Quick Retail Therapy

Pin It on Pinterest