It turns out there's nothing quite like living the one-day-at-a-time-at-the-hospital life to make you REALLY excited about middle school graduation. Part of me still can't believe this almost didn't happen, and the other part is afraid to breathe, just in case I'm asleep. Today is a good day.
I lamented to Otto this morning that "I don't have anything interesting to write about!" Otto---deeply embroiled in the home stretch of grading and finishing up the semester---gave me several suggestions of guffaw-worthy student gaffes, none of which I'm actually going to share. That's mostly because they're not my stories, but also because I don't want Otto to lose his job. He's so nice to the students' faces; there's no need for them to know he makes fun of them here at home.* Um. Oops? See, the problem is that all I want right now is... nothing. No drama. No excitement. I want boring and...
I am a youngest child. I grew up forever feeling persecuted that my brother got to... stay up later/go places I wasn't allowed/watch movies that were forbidden/fill in the blank with any other life-or-death-desirable activity in a kid's mind. I never saw him with more responsibilities than I had---therefore earning those special privileges---though that, too, is probably a perception heavily shaped by its passage through tween/teen Not-Fair-Colored glasses. Of course, there were also rules in our family that were shaped by "because he's a boy" or "because you're a girl." Different time,...
I am spending my entire day either in the car, waiting rooms, or too-cold doctors' offices, which I guess I will tell you more about eventually, but there isn't time right now, so I won't. (Also, I am rather over the whole scene right now, and would like to go home and crawl under my desk and chant "MY CHILDREN ARE PERFECTLY HEALTHY" until it's true or until I run out of snacks.) Anyway. I think I mentioned that my veggies are in for the summer, finally, as part of all the work we've been doing killing ourselves landscaping. What I did not tell you is that this year I was so disorganized, I...
Did you know that school is finished for the year here in just a few weeks? (And before the usual slew of "No fair! You get out so early!" comments that this usually brings, allow me to point out that the kids went back to school the first week of August. They've had a whole year.) Anyway, it's true. School is nearly out for the summer. Just a few more weeks to get through, which means that everyone's Great Big Hairy Meltdown is right on schedule for... now. This happens every year. I have no idea why it surprises me, every time. But the children are... oh, a little on edge, let's say....
I have to believe that when we look back---years from now---we will laugh. I have to believe we WILL look back, together, you still you and me still me and the two of us still a we that makes sense and makes us laugh until we gasp for air, until we can no longer remember why it was so funny in the first place. I have to believe that this is the hardest it will be, at least until we're strong enough to face stuff that's even harder. I have to believe that when I hold your face in my hands and tell you it's all going to be okay, I promise, that I am not lying. I tell you that your mother...
It's Tuesday, so I'm going to redirect you to Off Our Chests, this time to confirm what you already knew---I'm a jerk. I'm mean! All of the other parents are cooler than I am! [Aside: Chickadee has one friend who thinks I'm awesome. I have no idea where she got this idea, but I'm not about to disabuse her of it. Every time I give her a ride somewhere or she comes over or I see her at a school function or whatever, she laughs at my lame jokes and tells Chickie I'm the coolest mom ever. I've started calling her My Favorite Daughter and I'm SURE that's helping the already-strained relations...
Hey, let's talk about the kid who still likes me! So I may have mentioned that we suspected Monkey had another sinus infection. It was a kind of deja vu to last year's pre-surgical carnival of Angry Monkey; his behavior has been steadily deteriorating for a month, and all the while he insists he feels FINE he is FINE it's just that everyone else is STUPID and MEAN and why are you LOOKING AT HIM? Things at school have been rough, and I've been back in that place where I say, "He's sick. This isn't him. Please be patient, we're working on it." And whether it's reality or not, it feels like...
This one goes out to all of my fellow parents of teenagers, with love and respect. God, grant me the serenity to accept that the only difference between teens and psychopaths is that most teens eventually change, The courage to smile around gritted teeth and ground the offender, And the wisdom not to smother anyone in their sleep no matter how tempting. I'm not saying that things won't change, because---as ever---my mantra is "this too shall pass," I'm just saying that right now we are realizing that things are pretty off-kilter around here, and it's time to find that missing balance. That...