Hi, I suck

You know how sometimes it seems like you’re Doing The Right Thing and it ends up totally biting you on the ass? No? Maybe it’s just me. I am incredibly talented when it comes to digging large holes which I later trip and fall into and wonder what the heck...

Wrong answers

Me: Wow, that was really nice of you, Chickadee. Monkey, what do you say to your sister? Monkey: BOOGER! Me: Monkey! Monkey: Sorry. Me: What do you say? Monkey: Thaaaaaank you– Me: Better– Monkey: –wiggy wiggy wiggy BOOGERS! I’m thinking of...

Crash boom bang

The weather is mimicking my moods, or else perhaps my mood is being influenced by the barometer. The temperature soars to a stifling 95 or so, and just when the air is so sodden it seems it must crash down around our ears, it does. Thunderstorms; brief but intense....

Needing to need

Many of my loved ones are people I characterize as being islands. You know the sort–they can HANDLE it, all by themselves, thankyouverymuch. In times of adversity I am always one of the first to smack these people around and say “You don’t NEED to be...

“… seven days…”

Have you seen the movie The Ring? I know how they could make it scarier. Cuz, I dunno, maybe I’m just weird, but I didn’t find it all that scary. And I know people who claim it’s the best horror film they’ve ever seen. To be fair, I suspect...

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