I’ll try not to cough on the bandwagon

[Note: Today I am fever-free, and it is with renewed zeal that I have decided to LIIIIIIVE! That renewed zeal was somewhat dampened by the phone call requesting a showing of my (germy, dirty) house this very afternoon, but I am verrrrry sloooowwwwwly dragging my pale...

My apologies to everyone I breathed on

I have the flu. Know how I know? Because a nice doctor took a giant Q-tip and put it up my nose and swabbed my brain and said “Congratulations, you have the flu!” As I was hooked up to an IV and trying not to puke at the time I was perhaps not as excited...

Nyquil, take me away

Guess what I brought home from New York City! Go on, GUESS! If you guess a BIG ASS VIRUS CURRENTLY CHEWING UP MY LUNG TISSUE, you win a prize. Unfortunately for you, the prize is me coughing all over you. Sorry ’bout that. When will I learn not to lick people on...

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