Remember the whole “Now we are going to put you on a medicine that requires regular blood tests and also for you to swear a solemn oath that you are using two forms of birth control even if you aren’t sexually active” thing? And the whole “Oops, maybe you’re allergic to the dye in the generic!” thing?
Chickadee has been on the new med for over a month, and she is… rash-free. No side effects. Two rounds of blood work have been endured without too much drama, and her lab results show her organs are tolerating the med well. It’s unclear if this will continue to work for her, of course, but right now we are not-even-that-cautiously optimistic. This is HUGE. So there are many little victory dances happening ’round here. Sure, it took four years, but if this works for any length of time at all, YAY.
Of course, this brings us to a place where every single twinge, random pain, and whatever other thing she can think of MIGHT BE BECAUSE OF THE MEDS, MOM, which is rather hilarious.
This med causes a drain on our bank account, but I don’t know that it’s causing much else in the way of adverse affects. My darling daughter, however, decided to text me the other evening (from the next room, natch) with a new concern, and this somehow devolved into a conversation about how you can’t just blame ExpensoMed for everything, you know, and then THAT somehow devolved into a conversation about menstruation. [Ed. note: I have permission to share the following snippet of conversation, possibly because any embarrassment the child may have over discussing THAT STUFF is outweighed by her pride and glee at having made me laugh so hard I cried.]
Her: maybe i’ll be one of those special ppl who is super irregular all the time so they dont know they’re pregnant!
Her: NOT MEANING THAT I DON’T KNOW I’M PREGNANT NOW
Her: MEANING IN THE FUTURE
LIKE, WHEN IM 49
Me: Menstrual irregularity IS apparently a known side effect of ExpensoMed.
Her: ooh maybe i’ll be one of those lucky ppl who only gets it 4 times a year!
that would be awesome
I wouldn’t hold your breath on that
Her: i would :D
i’m gonna be on that show… whazzit called… ah yes, “oops, theres a baby in ur pants, it must be because of the ExpensoMed”
Remember, if you get pg on ExpensoMed the baby will have 2 heads.
I hope it has 2 heads but only one arm. It would be a good way for it to learn how to share.
For most people, when you’re thinking about having a baby, you’re thinking about how it will change your life, who it’ll look like, and whether you’ll be a good parent.
Unless you’re MY baby, of course, who has grown up to be too terrified of boys to talk to them, but is already looking on the bright side of the mutant baby she’s planning to have via immaculate conception. (This, by the way, was NOT pictured by me when I imagined her future life. Ahem.)
In conclusion: Meds working, teenager still weird. And if you’re taking ExpensoMed, don’t forget to check your pants for a two-headed, one-armed baby.