Med update, with bonus weirdness

By Mir
November 2, 2011

Remember the whole “Now we are going to put you on a medicine that requires regular blood tests and also for you to swear a solemn oath that you are using two forms of birth control even if you aren’t sexually active” thing? And the whole “Oops, maybe you’re allergic to the dye in the generic!” thing?

Chickadee has been on the new med for over a month, and she is… rash-free. No side effects. Two rounds of blood work have been endured without too much drama, and her lab results show her organs are tolerating the med well. It’s unclear if this will continue to work for her, of course, but right now we are not-even-that-cautiously optimistic. This is HUGE. So there are many little victory dances happening ’round here. Sure, it took four years, but if this works for any length of time at all, YAY.

Of course, this brings us to a place where every single twinge, random pain, and whatever other thing she can think of MIGHT BE BECAUSE OF THE MEDS, MOM, which is rather hilarious.

This med causes a drain on our bank account, but I don’t know that it’s causing much else in the way of adverse affects. My darling daughter, however, decided to text me the other evening (from the next room, natch) with a new concern, and this somehow devolved into a conversation about how you can’t just blame ExpensoMed for everything, you know, and then THAT somehow devolved into a conversation about menstruation. [Ed. note: I have permission to share the following snippet of conversation, possibly because any embarrassment the child may have over discussing THAT STUFF is outweighed by her pride and glee at having made me laugh so hard I cried.]

Her: maybe i’ll be one of those special ppl who is super irregular all the time so they dont know they’re pregnant!
Me: UH
Me: hahaha
Me: Menstrual irregularity IS apparently a known side effect of ExpensoMed.
Her: ooh maybe i’ll be one of those lucky ppl who only gets it 4 times a year!
that would be awesome
Me: hahahaha
I wouldn’t hold your breath on that
Her: i would :D
i’m gonna be on that show… whazzit called… ah yes, “oops, theres a baby in ur pants, it must be because of the ExpensoMed”
Me: hahaha
Remember, if you get pg on ExpensoMed the baby will have 2 heads.
So no.
Her: cool!
I hope it has 2 heads but only one arm. It would be a good way for it to learn how to share.

For most people, when you’re thinking about having a baby, you’re thinking about how it will change your life, who it’ll look like, and whether you’ll be a good parent.

Unless you’re MY baby, of course, who has grown up to be too terrified of boys to talk to them, but is already looking on the bright side of the mutant baby she’s planning to have via immaculate conception. (This, by the way, was NOT pictured by me when I imagined her future life. Ahem.)

In conclusion: Meds working, teenager still weird. And if you’re taking ExpensoMed, don’t forget to check your pants for a two-headed, one-armed baby.


  1. Melissa

    I have never commented before but today I just had to. That conversation is hilarious! Your kids have the greatest sense of humor! Thanks for the laugh….it was well needed.

  2. Navhelowife

    TOO Funny! She has a wicked cool sense of humor…wonder where she gets that from :)

  3. Lucinda

    Oh my gosh! I love it. My daughter has that same weird sense of humor (but she’s only 10) and there are times when she has me rolling on the floor. Glad the meds are working.

  4. Jill W.

    Learn to share- ha! That girl is wicked funny.

  5. Tracy B

    It’s a great plan not to get PG until you are 49!!! I ♥ it!!!!

  6. Billie

    Laugh Out Loud!!

    Chickadee is Super Awesome!!!

    Oh, and Monkey is too!!! :)

  7. Ruth

    Chickadee is very cool.

    I have a daughter who is staring what I suspect are similar drugs in the face, and is as ambivalent (read = no how, no way) as Chickadee was at first. I hope that if she does try them, she has similar success.

  8. MomCat

    Irregular periods is a way better side effect than loss of perspective – way to go, Chickie! You made us all LOL. Glad these meds are doing the trick.

  9. Aimee

    “Oh no, there’s a baby in my pants” is a MUCH better title than the actual title.

  10. Stephanie

    bahahahahaha!!! it’s the age… i swear it is… i have a 13yo daughter, lauren, is regularly brings me from tears to howling laughter in the span of 2-3 minutes. life is NOT dull at our house. ;o) and i KNOW you understand.

  11. Megan

    She is AWESOME.


  12. addy

    hee hee hee thanks so very much.

  13. Nicole

    OMG – I almost shot mashed potatoes out of my nose on this one. Oops there’s a two headed one armed very sharing baby in your pants. Still laughing.

  14. Arnebya

    Ha! I love your text conversations! Her sense of humor is what I look forward to with my girls (the oldest, only at 10, is well on her way, thankfully).

  15. Jennifer

    That. Is. Awesome. LOL! I needed that belly laugh today. Thank you, Chickadee.

  16. elz

    Seriously SO FUNNY. PLEASE make that into a shirt for her! (awesome Christmas idea, btw)

  17. Jackie

    So happy the meds are finally working. I know that was hard on all of you. Esp. Chickadee.


  18. Jeanie

    Very glad that you finally found medication that actually works!

  19. Tenessa

    That sounds like a song Lonely Island would do, “OH, NO! There’s a baby in pants!” ha!

  20. Karen

    YAY for solutions… and.. O.M.G. for mutant two headed one-armed babies found in pants…Just.. no.

    :-) So happy the meds are working.

  21. Kristi

    That girl of yours is priceless. Glad the meds are working!

  22. Laura

    Your teenager is HILARIOUS!

  23. Traci

    Dammit, Chickadee! You just made me wake up my (apparently-doomed-to-have trouble-sharing-one-headed-two-armed) baby! You would think that I would have learned by now not to read your blog when I’m trying to nurse my little one to sleep… ;)

  24. Brigitte

    Now kinda looking forward to when she’s an adult and has her own blog. ;-)

  25. Therese

    Are you sure the teenage weirdness is not a side affect of the Expensomed?

  26. Little Bird

    I can’t wait for Chickadee to grow up and perform her stand-up routine. I will buy tickets every time!!!

  27. Lori N

    So glad I had swallowed my coffee before I read that last line!

    I love kids.

  28. Emily

    Hilarious, what a great conversation! Thanks for the laugh!

  29. Anna

    That’s great news, Mir. :) The success with the meds, not the baby. lol

  30. SillyMe

    Just be aware that irregular periods can also mean having them more often. Like every 17ish days. My kid is also staring down weird drugs that fall under the category of may-or-may-not-have-freaky-side-effects-but-really-the-alternative-is-worse-so-here-we-go. It’s a joy.

  31. Kate

    I do believe I would look back on childbirth much more fondly if it had simply entailed a baby in my pants. You know, Chickadee is onto something here.

  32. All Adither

    I’m SO glad it’s working for her. Yes!

  33. Hope

    Oh, I love “oops, there’s a baby in your pants,” AND “that will teach her/it to share.”

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