Tomorrow I shall tell you all about what I’m doing today (because it will be funnier after I’ve pulled a muscle or twelve, and BELIEVE YOU ME, that’s coming), but in the meantime I thought you might enjoy knowing what’s brought people ’round here lately. I often forget to check my stats and then when I do, I am invariably delighted to discover all of the reasons stranger stumble upon my little corner of the web.
(And by “delighted” I of course mean “alternately amused and horrified.”)
Shall we take a look? Let’s!
my son lost his two front teeth months ago
what to do when your face is numb
Step away from the Botox…?
bring outside food into movie theaters
Dude, people are extremely polarized over this issue, and I recommend you just walk away. Let it go.
im sorry for making you think i was fake
I’m sorry you don’t have any punctuation and are making important confessions to Google.
i want smooth feet
It’s good to have goals.
my married lover let me down after no contact for nearly a year
I’m not really sure what you’re looking for, here, but I’m gonna have to say that your first clue that he’s just not that in to you was the whole, you know, NOT CONTACTING YOU FOR A YEAR thing. Just a hunch.
barf bag crafts
Sounds fun, sicko!
That you didn’t wait until you finished 5th grade to get married…?
little black bugs that crawl on the ground and jump when you try to kill them
Those sound delightful. Perhaps you can incorporate them into a barf bag craft. I’m thinking maracas!
I guess it really does exist!
albuterol shaking spouse
Albuterol makes me a little goofy, but I try to save shaking Otto for important issues like when he drinks the last beer.
why do bees stay on the deck
Because they don’t know how to swim, so there’s not much point in going down to the pool. Duh.
WOW troll clipart
Yes, that IS exciting.
make your boobs grow minerals
Okay, I do OCCASIONALLY find a little bit of lint on one of mine, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t GROW there. All I can suggest is a couple of geodes inside a really supportive bra, I’m afraid.