… have big plans but in the end are astonishingly lazy.
(Wow, that really doesn’t roll off the tongue quite the way the original does, huh?)
The kids spent the weekend with their father, which meant that after Monkey’s soccer game on Saturday they piled into a rental car and headed off to… well, I’m not sure where. Maybe they told me, but I was too busy waving and driving off with Otto yelling “FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!” Okay, maybe it wasn’t quite that bad.
We set off on a rollicking adventure which would take us out to lunch and over to the local Goodwill. Because we are WILD.
We also, of course, had weekend plans equivalent to about three weeks worth of projects and decadence. On the one hand, there were so many things we needed to accomplish around the house, things which would be easier to do without kids underfoot. On the other hand, ice cream. You can see our dilemma, I’m sure.
So we did our best to make the most of the weekend, despite the strong gravitational pull we experienced from the couch.
Back during the early days of owning this house, when we were still staying over at Otto’s old house and coming over here and painting for 23 hours a day, we removed a valance from the windows in the living room. I use the word “valance” lightly, as I’m certain that what we took off the wall was SUPPOSED to be a valance. What it was in reality was a large piece of overwrought carpeting mounted on brackets which were bending under its weight, and it had tassels and smelled like cats. None of these things are attributes I believe window dressing should possess, but I’m sort of a stickler that way.
[Here is a list of things which are allowed to have tassels: Lamp pulls; strippers. I hope that clears things up.]
[Also: Things which are allowed to smell like cats: Cats. Duh.]
Anyway. We took that monstrosity off the wall and patched the holes it left behind (and as it’s a bank of windows and the valance weighed more than I do, there were about twenty-five holes left in the wall after we removed it) and then proceeded to paint the wall copper, which—if you’ll remember—was an adventure unto itself. (No, I still don’t have any pictures. Guess what! Unless you’re a professional photographer, any attempt to photograph the copper wall just looks… brown. And if you ARE a professional photographer, chances are your annoying wife has whined about so many things she wants you to do that that taking a picture of the stupid copper wall is around item #83 on your list. So.)
After painting the house, shopping for window treatments seemed like an additional circle of hell. And really, I am just not a window-treatment-y person in general. And Otto is, you know, a guy. So we left it.
After a couple of months it became clear that the combination of the copper wall and the un-treated windows was just not quite right. “We need something on that window,” I said.
“Okay,” said Otto. He’s agreeable. I like that about him.
“Maybe a scarf?” I said.
“Okay,” said Otto. He’s like a ROCK, people.
We looked at window treatments a few times while we were out, and found a few things we liked but didn’t want to pay for, and didn’t buy anything. Then one day we found a sheer copper window scarf and said “Hey, I bet this would match the copper wall!” After a short discussion we bought it.
We brought it home and held it up against the wall and said “Oh, nice choice!”
That was two months ago.
Yesterday I asked Otto where he’d put the scarf, and he asked ME where I’d put the scarf, and we spent 30 minutes looking for it. First I looked in five different places and complained that I couldn’t find it, then Otto looked in those same five places, and then eventually I found it in our bedroom under a box. We decided that in addition to our other designated tasks for the day, we would buy some hardware to put the valance up. Seeing as how we’ve now lived here for four months and all.
So yesterday’s big tasks included locating and purchasing window hardware and closing the pool for the season.
And let me just say, WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT STUPID POOL?? (Oh. Mine? Right. Moving on.) Have you ever closed a pool? Here is what you do: You go to the pool store with a water sample and they dump it into three different receptacles and put it through a fancy machine and print out three pages worth of “information” (“Your water is wet,” is pretty much what the first two pages say) and then they inform you that you’ll need $4,000 worth of chemicals and treatments before the Pool Gods will bless the Placement Of The Tarp.
Several times over the weekend Otto suggested that we finish closing the pool and I would suggest scintillating alternatives, such as clipping our toenails or watching the grass die, instead. Also, I am not looking forward to telling the children that I spent their inheritance on algaecide.
The good news is that we bought some hook thingies (yes, that is the technical term) for the window scarf, so that’s done, at least. Now that room is, like, totally fancy!
Last night we went out to dinner using a gift card (because after buying the pool chemicals and the hook thingies we are out of money) and had a lovely meal and talked about how we need to go out on dates more often and also maybe hang up some pictures on the walls sometime before we’ve lived here for 10 years.
Then we stared deeply into one another’s eyes and decided to spring for dessert. We are such romantics.