… because I can no longer lift my arms.
Maybe next week.
So. Um. We bought this house, and then we pretty much went over there and painted for the next forty eight hours straight. Otto managed to lure various friends of his over to assist, which was nice, but it was still a whoooooole lotta painting. AND we’re not done yet! Because the copper wall takes TWO coats of base color and TWO coats of metallic overlay, which means we have one more metallic layer to go tomorrow, after which I suspect the living room will be six inches narrower than it was before we started, because HOLY HELL four coats of paint seems like a lot. Also, cathedral ceilings are highly overrated.
Anyway! Here’s a pop quiz for you:
You are a contractor, hired to work on someone’s house. You happen to know that these people haven’t even moved in yet, so it will be necessary to coordinate carefully so as to have access to the property. You make arrangements to arrive at 8:30 in the morning to check out the job and arrive promptly. After five minutes of poking around and verifying what needs to be done, what do you do next?
A) Go out to your truck to get everything you need.
B) Leave and go to Home Depot or Lowe’s to buy the stuff you need.
C) Start working because you already have everything you need.
D) Head to the nearest bathroom and take an enormous dump.
I ask you now: If you said D, and upon making your fateful decision discovered that OH YEAH, these people don’t really live here yet, and so THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER OR SOAP, what would you do then?
I like the contractor very much. He was a good choice, which is nice, because I’m giving him my kids’ college money. Let’s just say that the guy he brought with him to assist is someone I no longer feel comfortable looking in the eye. Because there are things I don’t want to think about but I cannot help wondering WHAT DID HE DO? I don’t want to know. I really, really don’t.
In other news, the Crazy Neighbor Lady whose house may or may not be for sale is frequently seen coming and going but hasn’t said a word to us, yet. I don’t know if she knows we’re the people who tried to buy her house or not. All I know for sure is that she often leaves the house for hours at a time and leaves her garage open.
In other other news, I discovered upon going to the bank to change my name and address that my business account is completely hosed because in fact the whole DBA thing is screwed up and it can ONLY be fixed by the bank in my home state, because here in Georgia all they can do is cancel my account and start over. Also they are confused as to why I might not want them to do that. (I have direct deposit going to that account from about four different places. “Oh but we can set that up for you again, hon.” Yes, because switching it over when I changed accounts the last time was SO MUCH FUN.) So I had to call my account rep up north and ask her to fix it and she swore she would but then she never called me back. SO.
Thank goodness it’s not like I’m going to have any bills to pay and therefore will want to be cashing any of these paychecks made out to someone who—according to my bank—doesn’t exist. Oh, wait a minute….
Anyway. Back to the painting! (This will make me feel productive.) We went into Chickadee’s room and painted one wall a deep pink, per her request. (Well, actually her request was for a totally pink room and I offered a single wall and she started whining and pouting and I said fine, we won’t do anything, and then suddenly one wall sounded awesome to her, so that’s what she got.) We went into Monkey’s room, which was painted blue but was in terrible shape, and painted it… blue. A slightly different blue!
We bought four cans of Vanilla Hotel Somethingorother after careful consideration at the wall of neutral paint chips, and came home to discover that it was EXACTLY the same color as was already there. Aren’t we smart? That was an accident, truly, but at least it made painting a lot more annoying because it was so hard to see where we’d painted. But the previous paint was in terrible shape, so with this we painted the living room, downstairs hallway, staircase, and upstairs hall.
And then of course we have the Copper Wall of Despair. Erm, I mean, the Copper Wall of Will Probably Be Awesome If We Ever Finish It.
That’s pretty much what I’ve been doing for the last two days. Except that yesterday evening we took a break to go to Target so that I could buy a shower curtain for the kids’ bathroom. It has monkeys. So I had to get the matching monkey hooks to hang it with, of course. Otto wants to bet on how long it will take for Chickadee to get pissed off that I didn’t buy anything with chickadees on it, but I am not betting, I am just practicing saying “OH BOY IT LOOKS LIKE A JUNGLE IN HERE” and “OH LOOK, SOMETHING SHINY” instead.
Tomorrow we do the U-Haul thing with Otto’s belongings, and then Monday the big truck comes with my stuff and the kids arrive after a week of vacation with their dad.
I’m planning on putting everything out on the deck because I don’t want to risk anyone or anything scuffing my walls. What? The kids can go in the pool and sleep in the gazebo.
Stop looking at me like that.