Where there’s a will, there’s a party pooper

By Mir
January 7, 2005

It went like this: a friend informed me that she was having an informal cocktail hour type thing today, and suggested that if I needed help finishing up party stuff, we could work on it afterwards. Come mingle and have some fun. I checked in with another friend, verified that she would attend and stay to help me, and agreed.

I got there around 6:00, expecting we’d get to work on my Big Bag O’ Cape Stuff by 8:00. I did pull aside my craft consultant as soon as she arrived to confer on cutting the material. This was a calculated move: I feared once she had a few drinks her measurements might be off. I then took some time to cut out the materials and then joined the party and was Social.

Believe it or not, being Social doesn’t always come naturally to me. Less so when I’m stressed. And I know that NO ONE CAN TELL I’m all stressed about THIS STUPID PARTY we’re having tomorrow, because I HARDLY EVEN MENTION IT and also the HYPERVENTILATING is so SUBTLE. Anyway, I was itching to get the capes out of the way. I still have plenty to do before tomorrow afternoon, but given my druthers, I would not have chosen to attend a full-blown party this evening. But I looked at it as a brief break before I finished what I needed to get done.

8:00 rolled around. Then 8:30. And people were eating and drinking and generally carousing and we had played a game and people wanted to play more games and no one was showing any signs of leaving and then it was 9:00 and there was more eating and drinking and general merriment right up until when my head exploded which sort of put a damper on things.

Not really. But a little bit after 9:00 I knew I could not enjoy myself until I got the capes done, so I slipped out of the living room and headed upstairs to where I’d already set up the iron and ironing board. (I got smart and decided I was not going to learn how to sew before today; now let’s all thank the good Lord for Stitch Witchery.) I commenced assembling and ironing the capes, and was accosted by two (drunk) friends.

They insisted that I come downstairs. When they were unable to talk me out of my task, they decided to stay in the room with me and taunt me for being grumpy, which was incredibly helpful. If you’re a single mom feeling all stressed out about a child’s birthday party on top of your normal worries about money, work, whatever, then the thing to do is head to a party composed of happily married couples where you’re the only one not drinking because CHRIST you have these stupid CAPES to make and a house to clean and THEN have several drunken friends who are supposed to be helping you INSTEAD give you a hard time about being cranky because they have no idea what it’s like to be a single parent.

For the record, it does not improve one’s mood to realize you’re starting to dislike people because you are jealous of their blissful ignorance.

I got the capes done. I rejoined the party. I realized it was late, and I said my good-byes and came home. I am no doubt the subject of the gathering, still; me and my grumpiness and my insane cape idea and my inability to relax. Or maybe not, and I’m just paranoid.

That brings the list of things I need to get done for tomorrow down to about 159 items to go. Oh, wait. Still 160. Because it used to be 160: Make capes. Now it’s 160: Apologize to party hosts for being such a downer.

Needless to say, I expect to be flooded with invitations on the heels of this entry.


  1. rudolf

    I never liked the term “downer”. I always preferred to be called “buzzkill”. Of course I may be revealing too much of my past here.

    At any rate, despite what they might have thought, I think you displayed a healthy set of priorities–your son’s party was more important to you.

    Your thumb must be feeling better, I thought you were going to need to drink BEFORE attempting to put the capes together :-)

  2. Jenny

    Good for you, putting your kids first! I’d be a party pooper too, rather than risk disappointing my kids. I wish you lightening speed on the house cleaning tomorrow!

  3. Heather

    It sounds like your friends knew you needed to get that done and that you really wanted their help. I’d probably apologize, but then don’t feel bad about it. I’m sorry you’re so stressed out.

  4. joshilyn

    1) But GOOD FOR YOU, you took the path of goodness and cape making!

    2)What is a stitch witchery?

  5. Jules

    I totally wish I could have brought my coconut rum and come over to your house and helped you do all the things on your to do list…because I love ya to bits..and my evening consisted of falling asleep on the couch somewhere before 8pm…Good times ;)

  6. ben

    I’d still invite you to my parties!

    If, ya know, we ever had any.

    Cuz having kids kinda puts a damper on the whole thing, at least until they are old enough to play quarters. That’s what my mom told me and I believe her.

  7. Nancy

    Yeah … sw sort of dropped out of parties 12 years ago when my daughter was born … and we’re a COUPLE … but we both work full-time and the precious little time that’s left is spent stressing over the chores, the house, the kid and her needs.
    What’s a coctail party like these days? Last time I was at one I think we were drinking Pink Catawba!

  8. Fraulein N

    Gah! You did the right thing. I mean, how were you supposed to enjoy yourself at the party when you had something you needed to do? Maybe when your friends sober up, they’ll realize that.

  9. MollieBee

    Well, if you’re like me and don’t really enjoy drinking, adult parites are kinda lame. I’d much rather be a guest at a homemade-cape Monkey party then a yucky grown-up one. You are so kickass, your kids will always remember and treasure these special things you do.

  10. Psycho Kitty

    Oh, man, am I ever living that life. Erg. Glad to hear the party went off well, though. Drinkies for you now!

  11. H

    No apologies neccessary. I felt bad that the party went that long. I really thought everyone would be gone and we would be making capes by 9:30 at the latest. The cape came out awesome by the way and I hope you come to our next happy hour!
    Love ya

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