Archive | January, 2009

Wouldn’t have missed it

by Mir on January 30, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Hey, guess what! Remember about a year ago when Monkey won an award, and we went to a very long ceremony, and I realized that I have an irrevocable urge to shout “YOU DAMN KIDS GET OFFA MY LAWN” at elementary schoolers who have bigger boobs than I do? Wasn’t that awesome?

We liked it all SO much, we went back again and did the whole shebang a second time when Chickadee won. It was pretty much the same.

This year I’ve sort of been living in dread of such things, because it turns out that as proud as I am when the kids do good things, I still don’t particularly like sitting through long ceremonies punctuated by hundreds of children who really are not all that interested in being quiet for an entire hour.

So I was DELIGHTED this year when Monkey brought home the notice that he’d won, but also told us that now the deal is that the ceremony just happens for the kids, and parents are invited to come in for lunch, afterward. (more…)

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Love breaks through

by Mir on January 29, 2009 in Growing, Ottomatic For the People

This winter has been pretty bleak, so far.

It’s the usual stuff as well as some genuinely difficult circumstances—most staunchly filed under Matters Largely UnbloggableTM—and while the bottom line is that we are all fine, I respectfully submit that T.S. Eliot got it all wrong. April is not the cruelest month, January is. Hands down.

One of the things I’m discovering, finally, after coming-up-on-two-years worth of remarriage, is that blending a family is not a linear process. It’s more like the Electric Slide gone haywire, with steps forward and back and then—surprise!—sideways at an unpredictable pace. If you’re not in tip-top shape it will sap you of your energy and your belief in a happy ending, sometimes. And when things are difficult and everyone’s got a cough that just won’t go away, nobody feels much like dancing. (more…)

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The miracle of life, ruined by boys

by Mir on January 27, 2009 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

One of my friends is pregnant. Actually; wait. THREE of my friends are pregnant right now, but only one in-town friend, who I have the advantage of being able to bother daily. I mean, I doubt she’s having a baby just to make ME happy, or anything, but I think it was awfully nice of her, anyway. Smooshy baby cheeks! Yummy baby knees! I can hardly wait! (And in the meantime: Vicarious shopping! Pregnancy jokes! Better-you-than-me comments! She sure is lucky to have me as a friend, I tell you what!)

I have thus far really been enjoying my peek into impending-third-child-dom. For example, her daughter—who is in kindergarten—is absolutely ECSTATIC. She was announcing that her mommy was having a baby to random people at the supermarket, even before it was visually obvious. On the other hand, her son—who is Monkey’s age—was completely disgusted and dejected at the news… until he found out that he’ll probably be getting a new bedroom, and then suddenly he was extremely pro-baby.

Granted, this may not be quite as amusing to the mom-to-be as it is to the rest of us, but I appreciate her taking this particular bullet for our enjoyment. (more…)

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Maid, cook, eyeball wrangler

by Mir on January 26, 2009 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Wasn’t I just waxing nostalgic about how I miss the helpless baby days, but saying how great it is now that the kids can do lots of things themselves? I think I was. Which is tantamount to holding a sign up to the universe and inviting it to please come show me the error of my ways, preferably in the most humbling way possible.

Ah, yes. There is nothing that says PRECARIOUS CUSP BETWEEN BABYHOOD AND SELFDOM like the tween years, and nothing that says WELCOME TO PURGATORY like that tween with a new pair of contact lenses.

You do remember that Chickadee was all jazzed to try contacts, right? And I said I wasn’t sure she was old enough, but then all of you left comments about how young you were when you got contacts, and because I like to take advice from people on the Internet, I figured, “How bad could it be?” (more…)

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Better and better

by Mir on January 24, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Woohoo!

I was wasting time on Facebook earlier today when I really should’ve been working (and not just in a “gosh, I should probably be working” kind of way, but in a “OH MY HOLY HELL I HAVE A DEADLINE AND I’M NOT DONE AND THE ONLY CURE FOR THIS PARALYSIS IS MORE SCRAMBLE!” kind of way), and —like everyone else in the world—I’ve been reconnecting with people I haven’t seen since childhood, and I came across someone’s picture of her toddler and commented on it that I miss toddler bellies.

Because I do. There is nothing quite like the proud pot-belly of a toddler. My lips twitch with the urge to zerbert such abdomens whenever I see them.

My children have bellies that I will still occasionally zerbert—I’m not made of STONE or anything—but my daughter can wear my shoes and my son’s mouthful of braces sets off metal detectors within five miles. (Let’s not discuss the smell issue. Ahem.) In short, their baby days are long gone. (more…)

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Love is always number 1

by Mir on January 22, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I love how many of you remember your own Spelling Bee come-to-Jesus moment. And I even love how many of you were so concerned that I was going to use my kid to make a statement, to buck the law, man, like I regularly trot around using my offspring as body armor as necessary. Heh.

Sometimes I vent, people. Like when I’m given two days to come up with an outfit because the school said it was optional-compulsory-required-justkidding!

We found a mostly-blue skirt in the back of Chickadee’s closet (purchased when she was 7, and yes, this size 7 skirt is STILL too big around on her), and—yes, put down the phone, no need to call DFACS—I bought her a white blouse. We played by the rules. Like the good conformers that we are. Woo. I was only a TEENSY bit bitter when we arrived at the Spelling Bee and most of the kids were wearing (forbidden) jeans. (more…)

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None of this is important

by Mir on January 21, 2009 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

Watching CNN yesterday, I felt simultaneously utterly insignificant AND an integral part of something bigger and more important than I can possibly comprehend. The last time I felt that way was right after 9/11, and needless to say, the last time it didn’t feel particularly GOOD. Yesterday felt good.

So all of this other stuff, this minutiae going on in my life… I realize that it’s just filler. I don’t have any illusions about it. Still, it’s My Stuff, and if I don’t talk about it, WHO WILL? (No one, that’s who. I mean, I hope. That would be kind of weird, otherwise.)

All of which is a looooong way of saying that my life is still completely insignificant, but not everyone can go to the Inaugural Ball or be sworn into the highest office in the land. Some of us have to do everything ELSE. Like stay at home and eat Sun Chips and pretend that they’re healthier than potato chips because, dude, they totally have fiber and, um, STUFF! (more…)

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Breathless

by Mir on January 20, 2009 in Woohoo!

I know, I know; I have been slacking, I owe you a real post, and I was going to write one, I swear.

But I’m watching the inauguration on CNN and I’m just… overcome.

Me. With my tiny little shriveled, blackened heart. I can’t catch my breath.

Comments { 46 }

Tasty, tasty guilt

by Mir on January 17, 2009 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

So, it was kind of a long week. And yesterday I had make-up lunch plans with a friend, because last week we’d had plans and then one of my children rudely spiked a fever and needed to stay home from school and I’d had to cancel. (GOD. Like that was more important than me going out to lunch, or something.)

Anyway, I felt bad for having canceled last week, so when we were getting organized and she suggested going to the restaurant where the owner backed into Otto’s car, I said sure.

On the one hand, Otto and I haven’t been there since that happened. Sort of a silent protest, if you will. On the other hand, CHEESE GRITS. Like, really good cheese grits. And Otto was out of town for the day, so I could basically sneak over there, eat delicious cheese grits, and he would never know, and so would not be able to accuse me of being more loyal to carby goodness than to him. (more…)

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Skate away skate away skate away

by Mir on January 16, 2009 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I’m the big meanie who insists on regular, early bedtimes, because SOME children I know tend to be EXTREMELY CRANKY when they don’t get enough sleep. And I find school mornings challenging enough without having to pry people out of bed while they complain that they’re far too tired to get up. It’s enough to get everyone to pack up their bags and remember their lunches and change their socks (don’t ask, seriously), so bedtime is sacred.

Except that the last couple of weeks have pretty much sucked mightily. Certain excretory substances we won’t discuss in polite company are hitting oscillating air dispersing devices as regards the fate of our school district, and this has resulted in some interesting repercussions even for RIGHT NOW (and by “interesting” I of course mean “suckass”), and then of course there is the small matter of lightning striking twice in the most unfair of ways, and trying to cope with my own feelings while helping the kids deal with theirs.

So last night we went to Skate Night. (more…)

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