Archive | July, 2007

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by Mir on July 31, 2007 in The Year of Living Changerously, Woohoo!

Today the kids went to an all-day program judiciously selected by us because it only cost $10 for the entire day. But, you know, it was church-affiliated and that means it has to be good. I mean, it was really cheap, but it was approved by Jesus himself. Especially the pottery part. Monkey presented me with something that may be either a clay donut or a pencil holder, and Chickadee showed off a gigantic blue whale with a comically tiny Mr.-Bill-like Jonah who fits in said whale’s blowhole. (Don’t ask me, I DON’T KNOW.)

While they were gone, I taped myself to my desk chair and completed about a dozen assignments so that we can leave tomorrow (to go here) on a mini camping trip without me spending the entire time trying to find some WiFi. And Otto went and ran some errands and sold his house. (more…)

Comments { 50 }

Anticipation

by Mir on July 30, 2007 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Ottomatic For the People

Otto understands me. He knows when I need chocolate. He knows when I need a hug. He corrals the kids when I need to work and he cleans up after dinner whenever I look like my eye is starting to twitch again.

So the other day—and I have NO IDEA what he was doing at the time—a great cry of glee went up from the other desk in the office, and when I turned to see what was so exciting, Otto showed me this.

Five minutes later, he was lamenting the fact that he hadn’t kept it to himself, because that would’ve been an awesome birthday present for me. (more…)

Comments { 50 }

Chipping away

by Mir on July 29, 2007 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", The Year of Living Changerously

The process of adjusting to our new home and different life is very much like playing my least-favorite board game, Candyland. Ten steps forward, two steps back. Sixteen steps forward and OH NO! Back to the beginning, sorry!

Seven steps forward, four steps back. Eight steps forward, back to the—screw this. This is the point in Candyland where either a child completely melts down and I have an excuse to pack the game up, or I “accidentally” bump the board. With my foot. Hard.

Unfortunately, it’s rather less practical to pack up the game when this pattern is playing out in real life. (more…)

Comments { 42 }

It’s all relative

by Mir on July 28, 2007 in Friends, It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

I’ll confess; I’d been feeling a little sorry for myself this week because I wasn’t planning to attend BlogHer. The week was going well and I was, frankly, starting to question my decision not to travel this summer “for the good of the family.” My family was FINE! And I was going to miss out on a trip to Chicago!

And then yesterday my daughter’s head actually spun all the way around and I realized that if I HAD gone to Chicago, Otto would likely never speak to me again when I got back, and assuming that the kids were even still alive, that would be yet another scar on their tender psyches. Yes, it’s a very good thing that I hadn’t gone anywhere.

All the same, then I started feeling sorry for myself today because I was spending the day trying to convince my daughter to do the weeding which had been decreed as punishment for her misdeeds. She was screaming and crying and I was waiting for CPS to come take me away while I explained over and over that she was going to pull the weeds regardless of how much she cried about it and she screamed at me that THERE WERE BUGS. That was really great. WAY BETTER THAN A BLOGGING CONFERENCE.

And then tonight Chris and Susan called to fill me in on how things are going in Chicago, and Chris talked a while and then Susan got on the phone and talked a bit and then Chris got back on and announced that no one has pooped all weekend because the bathrooms have big shutters instead of actual doors.

Suddenly Weedgate didn’t seem so bad, really.

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I am away being wifely

by Mir on July 26, 2007 in Detritus

(GOD, get your mind out of the gutter. I am just doing something really novel and designating an evening to focus on Otto rather than working all night or reading Harry Potter.)

So, hi! Guess what? I would like to hang out with you. Yes, YOU. There’s a, um, thing I’ve been asked to attend in Decatur in a few months and I thought they invited me because they just LURVE ME, but I think it may be more because they think I know other people to invite. Which, whoops! They must’ve missed all the posts about WAH WAH WAH I DON’T KNOW ANYONE I was writing a little while back. Anyway. No matter!

If you:
1) Live in the Decatur area or would be willing to drive in to Decatur on a designated evening (yes I know there is more than one Decatur; I’m talking about Georgia),
2) Like food,
3) Have a blog,
and
4) Want to be my friend,

please mail me and we will perhaps get to hang out and eat stuff together. I don’t know about YOU, but I find food highly motivating, so even if you don’t particularly want to hang with me, just remember: FREE FOOD.

Comments { 36 }

The final chapter of Bad Banking

by Mir on July 25, 2007 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

As of today, I am completely free of That Bank I Haven’t Been Naming That Claims To Be The Bank Everyone In The Country Uses. I will never go back, and every time I travel out of the area and have to pay a few bucks in ATM fees, I will cheer myself up by remembering this saga as one of the most unpleasant things I’ve had to endure lately. It will be worth some fees now and then to no longer be in the clutches of such a consumer-unfriendly institution.

And because I am me, it’s not as though I was able to walk in there today and withdraw my money and continue on my merry way. Oh no. That would’ve been too easy. It had to be a major production. (more…)

Comments { 53 }

Occasionally things go right

by Mir on July 24, 2007 in What do I do all day?

I arose this morning with a heavy heart, for it was time to go find myself a new bank. I’ve mentioned here before that I had a bit of trouble starting when I switched to a Big National Bank, and then yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back in my prolonged banking saga. I was looking forward to getting AWAY from my current bank, but I wasn’t particularly looking forward to all the paperwork and figuring out how to manage the switch and everything.

So I dawdled as long as possible and then left to go visit the bank I’d chosen. (more…)

Comments { 40 }

Wuv, twue wuv

by Mir on July 23, 2007 in Ottomatic For the People

The most inconvenient part about having had a total hysterectomy is not the annoyance of synthetic hormones or the worries about early-onset osteoporosis, but the inability to blame anything on PMS anymore.

See, I used to think I had PMS a lot. It turns out, I’m just a cranky bitch.

Like, see, today? Today sucked giant, hairy donkey balls for various reasons, and many of them were small and stupid reasons, and a couple of them were large and truly important reasons, but the end result was that I left the house to run a couple of errands and returned in a gigantic fit of pique. (more…)

Comments { 77 }

Out of excuses

by Mir on July 22, 2007 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

So, um, we bought this house about a month ago. We moved in three weeks ago.

We are rapidly approaching the time when piles of boxes in the middle of every room is less “golly, there’s so much to do and we’ve just moved in” and more “holy hell, what is the matter with you slobs?” Otto and I decided to set a goal of Finishing Unpacking this weekend, because it just seemed like it was time.

And we are… well, it’s close. I can’t quite say we’re DONE, but it’s much better than it was. We even hung some stuff on the walls! Yay us! (more…)

Comments { 45 }

And then Otto’s head exploded

by Mir on July 21, 2007 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

This morning, in the pool:

Monkey: I can do an underwater somersault! Look!
*does a somersault*
Monkey: Did you see it? Did you??
Me: I saw! That was great.
Monkey: I can do a double! WATCH!
*does a double*
Monkey: See that?
Chickadee: Yeah, well, SO WHAT. I can do a TRIPLE somersault!
Me: I saw you, buddy, that was really neat.
Monkey: Yeah, well, I can do a QUADRUPLE somersault!
Chickadee: Yeah, well, I can do a QUINTUPLE somersault!
Me: Oh YEAH? Well I can do a million somersaults in a row!
Otto: Oh YEAH? Well I can—
Chickadee: YEAH, WELL, I HAVE A THIRD NIPPLE!

She wins.

Comments { 20 }
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