It’s all relative

By Mir
July 28, 2007

I’ll confess; I’d been feeling a little sorry for myself this week because I wasn’t planning to attend BlogHer. The week was going well and I was, frankly, starting to question my decision not to travel this summer “for the good of the family.” My family was FINE! And I was going to miss out on a trip to Chicago!

And then yesterday my daughter’s head actually spun all the way around and I realized that if I HAD gone to Chicago, Otto would likely never speak to me again when I got back, and assuming that the kids were even still alive, that would be yet another scar on their tender psyches. Yes, it’s a very good thing that I hadn’t gone anywhere.

All the same, then I started feeling sorry for myself today because I was spending the day trying to convince my daughter to do the weeding which had been decreed as punishment for her misdeeds. She was screaming and crying and I was waiting for CPS to come take me away while I explained over and over that she was going to pull the weeds regardless of how much she cried about it and she screamed at me that THERE WERE BUGS. That was really great. WAY BETTER THAN A BLOGGING CONFERENCE.

And then tonight Chris and Susan called to fill me in on how things are going in Chicago, and Chris talked a while and then Susan got on the phone and talked a bit and then Chris got back on and announced that no one has pooped all weekend because the bathrooms have big shutters instead of actual doors.

Suddenly Weedgate didn’t seem so bad, really.


  1. Betsy

    HAH! I, too, have been feeling all wah wah wah-ish about not going to BlogHer (imagine the nerve to think that the money ought to be spent on, uh, food and clothes and shelter for my two children! Or shelter, anyway…)

    You just stopped the bawling, thanks.

  2. Pam

    A healthy bowel is a happy bowel.

    Side note, in Georgia CPS is named DFACS (Dept of Family and Child Services). Lest your daughter think CPS would come and take her back to where you guys used to live.

  3. Judy.

    Who wouldn’t rather be with a screaming, bug-feared child than with shuttered-door potties??? I know that Otto loves you for not leaving him alone quite yet. And, just think, maybe we’re going to have the Georgia Version of BlogHer shortly????

  4. Catherine

    I was sad about not attending blogher too, until I read about the shutters … somewhere (can’t remember – trying too hard to have a voyueristic experience reading everyone I can). Then I became relieved. Can you imagine the line at the lobby restrooms? That’s assuming they don’t have shutters too. And if they do, it’s going to look pretty funny to see lines of women heading for the 7-11 tonight – not able to hold it in anymore.

    Or, folks will be closer than before.

  5. Procrastamom

    Really? Is that at the W? I thought that was an upscale hotel. Hmm, maybe rich people prefer an audience?

  6. YetAnotherKaren

    Aaaaagh. I knew there was a reason my flight was canceled and I never made it to Chicago. The shutter-thing would have done me in. Unless I was drunk enough the entire time that it no longer mattered…

  7. LadyBug Crossing

    LOL!! I am wishing I went to blogher too… Maybe we can go next time. Next time they might have real doors on the bathrooms :-)

  8. Daisy

    I didn’t go, either, and I was feeling a little self-pity since it was close enough I could have driven and skipped the airfare. I stayed home for family, too, and now I feel better. :)

  9. JustEnjoyHim/Judy

    Someone alert the planes for all the trips home.

  10. CityMama

    That is precisely why I don’t share rooms. I like to poop in peace.

  11. hamiam

    LOL – maybe….maybe the bathrooms were designed by the same men who perpetuate the fantasy that women just walk around naked together in locker rooms, a la the movies? Who knows..

    I wish I had the $$ to go to BlogHer. And the time – as it is I am taking a weekend class to knock out 3 graduate credits.

    Finally, I am cracking up at the google ads here this morning. Apparently the brief mention of Chickie’s transgressions and punishment triggered “Spank” related ads. Hooo boy!

  12. Brigitte

    Oog. I already commented on Chris’ blog how I’d be constipated! Heck, I’ve never even let my hubby see me during a poo session.

  13. Leandra

    Sorry you’re spending your dealing with a Chickie meltdown. We like to joke that Bubba has DFACS on speed dial! Although your weekend does sound MUCH better than what’s going on a BlogHer. Yikes! I’m such a prude when it comes to poo — unless we’re talking about somebody under the age of 2, I don’t want to talk about poo. Hey, that rhymed!

  14. Cele

    Bugs? So maybe she is becoming OCD? If she was a fear of bugs could be quite logical. No that you need more things to deal with but, hey? it’s a thought.

  15. maman

    I did go to BlogHer and had a blast, but I would have had more fun if all of you ladies had been there too!

  16. Ani

    I’m decidedly not OCD (decidedly not) ha ha and I hate hate hate bugs. Which is why I don’t weed.

    I feel for Chickie. And you.

  17. ZooMom

    My sweetie (6 yrs old) is soooo scared of bugs she shrieks loud enough to wake the dead if there is even a hint of a black dot on the tub when she is entering the bathroom! Yet surprisingly, when I was turning the soil in our soon-to-be grassy backyard she was begging to help. Warning her of the danger of bugs didn’t even get her off my back. You never know.

  18. Henrietta

    Tell her not to worry about the bugs, just keep screaming and they will all move next door.

  19. dorothy

    I missed you. I stayed in my sister’s apartment, so we could poop all we wanted.

  20. Krisco

    That is hilarious becuase, OH MY, I felt the same way about the shutters-on-the-bathroom wall thing.

  21. LuAnn

    Shoot. We only have one interior door in our house, and that is to the BATHROOM! *lol*

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