What do I do all day? Articles

Ten is the new dozen

Today was one of those days where things just hummed and clicked and I was able to step outside of myself and peer back and think, "Huh. I'm getting pretty good at this life thing." Of course, such hubris inevitably meets with the swift smackdown of reality, but for the first part of the day things were really quite lovely. This morning the children were encouraged to prepare for school quickly so that they could come eat breakfast and---wait for it---watch the robot work its magic! Yes, after using the new unit to clean the family room last night, I went wild and let it loose in the great...

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Pretty things

Today, in honor of my having left all my liquids and gels at home but having packed up some of that good ol' fashioned New England cold front, Georgia forgot to be sweltering and instead dawned cool and pleasant. We can now conclude that I make everything better, even the weather. Yay me! In honor of this turn of events, Otto took me to visit the State Botanical Gardens. "Maybe we can shoot some pictures," said he. "Okay!" Said I, doodling his name in puffy letters. "But I didn't bring my camera. You know, because it sucks." "No problem," said he. "You can borrow one of mine. Which one would...

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Successful reentry

It could've rained today; heck, it could've hailed. We could've missed the bus. Both children could've come home in tears and despair. It wouldn't have mattered. My day was perfect by 6:30 this morning. Perfection crept into my room at 6:15 and slipped under the covers beside me, all knees and elbows and flyaway hair. While Monkey has only recently stopped greeting me this way every single morning, I couldn't tell you the last time Chickadee did so. She is rarely up first, for one thing. For another, she's a little too old and cool to be seeking out a morning snuggle... usually. Utter...

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Feeling a bit trans-Neptunian, myself

Next week, school starts. This week, the guilt started. BAD MOTHER! (shrieked my inner critic) SUMMER'S NEARLY GONE AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? I knew that we wouldn't be going on a real vacation this summer, but I had hoped for a few mini-trips and maybe a handful of other adventures. Goal accomplished, if we're counting the grocery store as a mini-trip and cutting the kids' hair as an adventure ("Hold still so I don't lop off your ear, please"). What did we do this summer? Somehow "Journey to the bottom of Monkey's closet" just doesn't have the ring for which I'd hoped. (But for the record,...

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Malfunction junction

My day? You want to know about my day? My day was JUST PEACHY. Actually, there was nothing about my day that was truly a debacle. There was no blood, no catastrophe... Chickadee didn't even have a single time-out. (I'm aware that to complain is somewhat petty. But I always say play to your strengths, and one of my strengths is whining.) Still, it was one of Those Days. One of the days when you find yourself wondering---over and over---if getting out of bed this morning was really worth the effort. (Answer: Well, the kids probably would've gotten hungry, if I hadn't.) We started things off...

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Gravy and all

When I last took care of our charming puppy-guest, she was still very much a puppy. She needed to go out approximately every seven minutes, and even then, she had a number of accidents in the house. If you left any item unattended either on the floor or anywhere within reach, she would chew it up. But that was this past winter. But she's much older and wiser and calmer, this time, and when I picked her up I said, "She doesn't have accidents any more, right?" "Right," said my friend's husband. "She's very good, now. She'll tell you if she wants to go out." This morning when we let her out of...

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There was much rejoicing. Also, napping.

I was puttering around in my pajamas this morning, feeling a little... well... punky, I guess, and being glad that I had another half an hour to drag myself into the shower before the sitter arrived... ... when the sitter arrived. Nothing will make you feel your (old and decrepit) age faster than opening the door, braless, for a gorgeous 16-year-old. Who is so taken aback by your dishevelled appearance that she begins apologizing immediately. Good morning! Well, it was a little mix-up, and no big deal. The sitter settled in to watch breakfast cartoons with the kids while I showered and got...

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The bloodshot eyes are tired, not stoned

I have figured out how to make a zillion billion dollars, and I can hardly wait to execute my awesome plan and be rich. And more awake. The crux is this: If we can pinpoint whatever it is in the human body that regulates circadian rhythms and then ALTER that as needed---say, perhaps with a handy adjustable dial!---we will be filthy rich. And jetlag will be a thing of the past, because forever after people will arrive at their different time zone destinations and when they reset their wristwatches they'll also, I dunno, lift their shirts and carefully adjust the dial in their belly buttons...

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The list, the list, the list is on fire

Greetings from bizarre juxtaposition central! On the one hand, I am enjoying a rare child-free weekend with another adult. If I don't want to get up, I don't have to! If we want to have ice cream for dinner, we can! If we want to... um, well, HEY look over there, something SHINY! Anyway! That whole side of things is lovely and carefree and relaxed. On the other hand, there is The List. And The List demands that certain things be completed before this visit is over, and try as I might to fill the list with items like SMOOCHING and SLEEPING LATE, it remains chock-full of actual to-dos that...

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