While I would never characterize my life as simple or easy (HAAAAAA!), I have been incredibly lucky in one very specific way: I have not yet, as an adult, experienced the loss of someone to whom I was very close. So in some ways, I feel I'm something of a stranger to grief. The closest I'd come until fairly recently was the grief of losing my first marriage, and my hopes/dreams/plans associated therein. It's not the same, of course, but it followed a similar trajectory and kind of came out of nowhere to bite me on multiple occasions when I "should've" been well past mourning. The up side,...
There are times when parenting is not the flowers-and-sunshine constant glow of awesomeness which I was sure it would be back when my kidlets were tiny and a bad day probably only meant that someone had barfed. (And a REALLY bad day meant they'd barfed ON ME.) Two days into the new math class (and, coincidentally, MY increased homework load... hrm), I had to give Chickadee a pep talk about how it's a lot easier to learn something new when you're not busy having a massive freakout of epic IWILLNEVERLEARNTHIS OHMYGODWHATHAVEIDONEI'MSOSTUPID proportions while attempting to do so. And because...
I don't know if you've maybe picked this up over the years, but we place a pretty big value on academic achievement, 'round these parts. Knowledge is power, and a big brain is a terrible thing to waste. Both children qualified for gifted education when we moved here (despite my bumbling) and yes, okay, according to their test scores, they're freaks. Both of 'em. And I expect them to work hard and perform up to their potential. But. I never want to be That Parent. I don't want to be the parent who believes that Precious Snookums is the very smartest and bestest and better than everyone else....
Hello! I am not dead. I was just doing non-computer-related things with our visitors all weekend, and it was lovely. Otto's mom was like a kid in a candy store, just beaming at the kids and so excited to be here with us. Otto's aunt quickly became Monkey's new favorite person, and the rest of us sat back and chuckled as he brought various toys and items for her inspection and approval, and discussed many important issues of the day ("Do you believe in an afterlife?" he'd asked both our visitors at one point, out of the blue. "I don't want to be dead forever, so I think there must be."), and...
So today I was still sick, and like a responsible human who has been threatened by her husband if she doesn't call the damn doctor already I called my doctor and went in to chat with her about this little problem where it's become difficult to breathe, lately. To her credit, my doctor was a little alarmed about that. As I sat there and bemoaned the fact that I have really been working really hard on getting fit this year, I've lost weight and started exercising regularly and STILL I seem to get sick all the time... she looked at her computer and looked at me and helpfully offered, "You...
I had a cold, and it went away, and then it came back, because I am the Amazing Immune System Free Lady! Step right up and watch me get sick from everything! You'd think I spend my free time licking grocery cart handles, or something. Anyway, today is a busy day AND I feel like crud, so instead of eating lunch I took a nap (hooray for being self-employed), and then I decided to just stay in bed with my laptop. Monkey got home from school and was very concerned, and I assured him I'm fine, I'm just sort of resting because my head is full of snot. He patted my arm and stroked my hair and told...
I am fascinated by lying. Seriously. I always have been. I was a theater major, for pete's sake. The act of pulling on a persona has always been appealing to me, and my parents are only too happy to remind me that I was something of a pathological liar in my youth. I do recall sometimes saying things just to see if lying would work, and of course can think of plenty of times I simply lied as an attempt to get out of trouble. This may or may not be on my mind because yesterday, after I posted about our SUPER FANTASTIC morning and my caving on taking my child to school because it was so very...
I am a totally awesome parent. Possibly the very best around, in fact. I am consistent. I am firm but loving. I pick my battles, refuse to sweat the small stuff, and set up natural consequences. I have high expectations and foster an environment in which independence and success are the natural default. All of this, of course, is IN MY HEAD. It's philosophy and theory. And even the parts which I manage to put into practice never seem to have the results I expect, which is WEIRD, you know, because back before I became a mother I'm pretty sure I knew everything. Damn these children and their...
I think that any parent with more than one child struggles to make sure that things are fair, and that goes quadruple in the case of having a kid with special needs. No matter how many times I intone, "Fair doesn't mean equal" to my kids---and I do believe that, by the way---there are always going to be cases where one feels they're being slighted while the other is getting more. More attention, more privileges, more love, more WHATEVER; it doesn't matter. What matters is that it's a balancing act, giving them what they need, keeping my sanity, and keeping the peace. It can be even more...
