Today was a whirlwind of tying up loose ends for work stuff, running last-minute errands, and laundry. Sweet merciful heaven, the laundry. It turns out that you can only sustain the cycle of “run out of clothes, do laundry, take clean clothes out of the baskets on the floor, realize the hampers are full again, do more laundry, wonder why there aren’t any baskets, combine previous laundry into one basket and put new laundry in the other baskets, take clothes out of baskets, etc.” for so long and then, eventually you find yourself staring down the barrel of a trip.

A trip means that everything has to be clean, both so that I can figure out the optimal clothing to bring and so that I can put the laundry away (in drawers! and closets! like a BIG GIRL!) before we leave. Because if I don’t, when we get back, the sight of all that laundry sitting around will rip a hole in my very soul. Or something.

The morning started off right; I passed a big sign at an auto place that proclaimed “TRANNY SERVICES.” This struck me as very enlightened of my little town. (I spent the rest of my drive home imagining what all that might entail. Come on over and let us help you tuck it in! Need help settling on your new name? We’re here for you! Laser hair removal discounts!)

After a day spent mostly going between the phone, the computer and the washing machine, I picked the kids up and took them on a quick supermarket run to secure snacks for our trip. They spent approximately 95% of the time we were at the store pointing out the things that Daddy will buy them and I won’t. Daddy will let them have chocolate pop-tarts! And cookies! And pudding! And cotton candy laced with heroin! I, on the other hand, hate them and think they’re ugly, which is why I feed them grapes and carrots and Cheez-Its. Oh, the humanity.

Back home, I started packing up bags and putting them in the mudroom. We’re going for less than a week, which means we need to take about fifty bags worth of stuff. Twice as much clothing as I think we’ll need, and way too many shoes, and a bunch of stuff to stay entertained in the car, and scooters and helmets so that I can obstruct the kids’ vision and zoom away from them really quickly when they piss me off. I’m very practical, really.

Now the laundry has been conquered, most of the supplies have been organized, and I’ve realized that I’m exhausted. I’ve also realized that my pretty new shoes are going to arrive while we’re away. It’s bad enough that they didn’t get here in time for me to take them with us; now they’ll be sitting on my porch, alone and unloved. Actually, that’s not true. I also ordered a larger memory card for my new digital point-n-shoot (as my nice beast of a camera is still unwell), and that didn’t get here, either. It can keep the shoes company while I wear my ratty sneakers and limit the kodak moments to under ten pictures….

Alright, time for me to sleep. I have a long day of “he’s touching me” “she’s looking at me” to deal with tomorrow. Tales from Spoil the Grandchildren Headquarters to follow!