My friend Marcey came to this startling revelation the other day while we were discussing the fact that although we hold six university degrees between the two of us, neither of us has any practical household skills (plumbing, electrical, etc.). Marcey, however, is gainfully employed… whereas I have fallen into that large crack in the economy reserved for Imperfect Engineers. There are many things that can render an engineer imperfect in today’s market; in my case, I stepped off onto the “Mommy Track” and wiping noses and changing diapers full-time for several years has apparently dragged down my IQ by 40 points or more. At least this is what I surmise from my complete and utter failure to solicit any interest in my resume.

But hey; I’m flexible. I’m willing to train. I’m open to doing something else. I’ve applied for a broad range of positions, and the bottom line is always one of two: 1) You’ve been out of the field too long for us to believe you still know how to be productive in a way that doesn’t result in more human beings or 2) You are overqualified for this crappy job and even though you are a single parent with a mortgage payment and would happily give even this job your all, we don’t want to talk to you because there are things on your resume that we don’t even understand, therefore it would be dangerous to let you work here.

I’m sure my parents are very pleased that the thousands of dollars they spent on my education have brought me to this point. I know I am.

I’ve spent a good deal of time over the last year wallowing about my career plight (among other things). But that’s over now. (Probably. Maybe. Well, this week, for sure.) I’m working on a whole new strategy to get me in a more forward-thinking place, as I’m often guilty of the woulda-coulda-shouldas. This blog is part of it; perhaps it will give me some accountability I need to keep from slipping back into old (bad) habits.

So as regards the career plans: Summer Vacation. School is out in less than a month and the kids and I are taking the Summer off. Why should they be the only ones who get vacation?? I need a break from surfing Monster for hours, and wracking my brain to compose enticing-yet-witty-yet-serious cover letters for jobs I either will never get or don’t really want. I need a break from trying to figure out what I want and need out of life aside from being a mom and how I can make that happen while paying a daycare bill that exceeds my mortage payment.

And let’s face it… the world kinda blew up for me and the kids this last year. I am ashamed to admit that I have sarcastically referred to my ex as “Fun Daddy” so often that my youngest actually calls him that, now. (Oops.) I want a shot at being Fun Mama. I want to build sandcastles and go on nature walks and swing on the swings and not have to race to school in the morning, not be distracted and stressed out and constantly trying to plan for that job that might show up but never does. Sure, I’m going to have to figure it out eventually… but not this Summer. This Summer, I am going to play with my kids. And enjoy it. So there. I’m pretty sure they’re just as impressed with my degrees and resume as everyone else.

So if you need me in late June, or July, or August, my useless over-educated ass will be at the beach… with no regrets.