Look; you already know that I’m basically sort of lazy. (At least when it comes to physical stuff. My mind is sort of like a hamster on crack on a giant wheel, running for broke. It doesn’t often GET anywhere, but at least it’s going.) So I preface this story with the acknowledgment that what I consider an incredibly productive weekend may, indeed, be your idea of an uneventful hour. I understand that. Still, FOR ME, it was something of a masterpiece of productivity, and you’ll just have to allow me a few moments of bragging about it.
Besides, we all know there’s a moment at the end where I got knocked down a couple of pegs, because that’s just how it goes. Success in my world can sometimes be fleeting; I accept this.
Usually. I mean, most of the time.
I mean… well, you’ll just have to see for yourself.
The kids have been back to school for two weeks, and all of the things we accomplished in a leisurely manner while they were still lounging around the house this summer (or, um, not at all, because we were busy slacking) are now being crammed in here and there or overlooked entirely, now that everyone has Someplace To Be and Something To Do at every minute of every day. I kind of consider the first month back on schedule to be a success if everyone gets out alive, quite frankly, but I also sometimes stop and look around and feel overwhelmed by everything that needs doing.
So.
On Friday afternoon I made sure to clean out everyone’s lunch boxes (because doing that on Monday morning sucks, both because it SMELLS and because then there are things like OH NO I forgot to refreeze the weird phallic ice packs that screw into the kids’ water thermoses) and made the kids clean out their backpacks, and then I triumphantly demanded requested that Otto bring home food for dinner so that we could just eat and relax and not worry about cooking. Friday evening was lovely.
On Saturday I did approximately eleventy loads of laundry, completely cleaned off my desk, filed paperwork, organized my bookshelves, packaged up items to be mailed, paid bills, renewed magazine subscriptions, meal-planned for the week to come, hosted a playdate which meant the volume in my house went up to 11, took the dog to get groomed, ran a bunch of errands, and told Chickadee “we are not shopping for you while we’re out today” and then (yeah, I know) ended up buying her a pair of sneakers in our travels. (The child has an unnatural obsession with the Chucks she received for her birthday. Yet her feet, they keep growing. She found another adorable pair in the next size up for roughly half what I’d paid for the first pair, on sale. I HAD NO CHOICE.)
On Sunday, I vacuumed most of the house, did more laundry, changed linens, cleaned the kitchen, tasked the kids with dusting, had them clean their rooms and then the bathroom while I cleaned the other bathrooms, helped Chickadee with an assignment, grocery shopped, did a bunch of food prep for the week, responded to a bunch of emails I probably should’ve responded to a long time ago, updated the family calendar, and had everyone in bed clean and well-fed and EARLY.
Otto and I celebrated by staying up to watch Mad Men with popcorn. Because we are party animals.
He kept complimenting me on my productivity this weekend, too. There was this tone of wonderment, almost, like he just couldn’t believe I’d gotten so much done. I tried to take it in the (complimentary) spirit in which it was intended, but I did feel a little defensive after a while, like, am I usually SO slothful and unproductive that this is just a COMPLETE SHOCK? (Answer: Yes, actually.)
Anyway, we all got up this morning and I went to pack lunches and realized that after ALL OF THAT organization and cleaning, somehow I’d managed to leave the ice packs in the water bottles. On the counter. Of course.
I put extra ice cubes in their containers, so I’m still claiming this weekend as a victory. Even if I am something of a dumbass.
Woo… Hoo?? I mean, YAY! Productivity! Awesomeness! Domestic fabulosity!!
But –
I mean dude.
I spent 80% of my weekend draped over the couch because It’s Stiiiiil Haaaaaaahhhhht Ouuuuut. Another 18% was taking photos at the zoo. Until it got too hot. And then 2% was laying that patio I intended to finish two months ago but didn’t – see heat, as mentioned.
And I’m totally claiming that 2% as a Win For Productivity, which justified, in my tiny little mind, the remaining 98% absolutely.
Well, it did until I read about your awesomeness and all that. Thanks.
I think you’re made of awesome. No doubt.
And this morning, I left behind Noah’s bag with a “just in case” change of clothing, and my phone. If we are in a flake-off, I think I win. In fact, I’ll say it straight up: I kicked your ass in forgettery.
I consider that a completely productive weekend. Deserving of a month off of productivity requirements ;)
You might like this cartoon ( I, personally, think it is too funny) about being a productive person…
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html
[Ed. note: CLEAN ALL THE THINGS! was my refrain this weekend, totally.]
I blame the phallic nature of the ice packs. So it totally wasn’t your fault.
You are awesome with a big dollop of WOW on top. This weekend I uh…ironed so I can now see the clothes I have. Did the ever-growing and rotating laundry. And, this is key- Found the shoes I bought earlier this year on super sale (thanks wantnot) and tried them on the girls before I went out to buy more shoes for them. Woo-hoo. More money for momma’s shoes now!
I spent the weekend at Grandparents house where O finally released me of the chains I have been imprisoned by, and actually requested time with her grandmother, grandfather, and auntie. I think the puppies, the new tricycle, and the park were really good bribes for her. But when I got home, had to take care of a sick husband, and do NOTHING the rest of the evening, except watch Project Runway on DVR. Less productive, much more relaxing…next weekend will be a different story, when this morning, the dirty counter top is starting to bug me, and the dust bunnies growing in the corner are giving me the evil eye. SIGH….
I have found that occasional cleaning lady visits help me feel less lazy, although it’s actually laziness on my part that causes me to need her services. Oh well, she does a nice job!
I’m exhausted after reading this. Time for a nap. Nite nite.
I’m just sitting here giggling over the Spinal Tap reference.
And I award navhelowife ten internets for linking Hyperbole and a Half. One of the few blogs (and this one!) to survive my latest Google Reader cull.
I get you on that struggling to be complimented/defensive on the housekeeping. I want my husband to notice the effort I put into cleaning up… yet somehow you don’t want to admit that CLEAN is different enough from NORMAL that he’d notice…
I’m impressed with what you managed to get done as well :) Go Mir!
Oh no you don’t, missy. No fault finding for the unfrozen ice packs. With everything else you accomplished you are allowed one minor mix-up/forgetful moment. I bow to your superior ORGUNIZASHNL SKILLZ.
Boo ya!
i LOVE weekends (or weekday evenings) where i get a ton of stuff accomplished. it leaves me feeling very satisfied. :)
You had me convinced at the end of Saturday. In my mind everything you did on Sunday was bonus. Take a victory lap…or sit and relax and enjoy another cup of coffee.
I spent all last week waiting to relax over the weekend and all weekend exhausted by how much we had to do. Now I need the weekdays to catch up from the weekend. Your goal to “consider the first month back on schedule to be a success if everyone gets out alive” seems like something I should keep in mind. I hope in a month I’ll be into the swing of things and will feel calm. Calm-ish at least.
I’m still in the sippy cup stage. I have one kind in particular that always ends up without the valve. So last week’s trip to the zoo was so much fun, in that I didn’t fill it up at home, anyway (hey, I thought, I’ll use the drinking fountains there!) and then when I DID (naturally, after a whole lot of moaning from the natives) it ended up spilling all over the stroller, sling, camera, etc. Ugh.
What? No pictures of the new shoes? I guess with all that productivity going on, you didn’t have time for photos, but it would have helped in proving that you had no choice but to purchase them. = ) My daughter loves her chucks too, but my feet get sore just looking at them… no arch support whatsever. Ok that sentence made me feel old (and i sound like my mother). Time to ponder how that happened. = )
I need to know where those cheap Chucks were found! The feet, they just keep on growing!
You beat me hands down. I accidentally put one of those weird phallic ice pack things down my disposal last night. That’s right. I’m awesome.
That is a super productive weekend. And, like you, I would have left the ice packs in the water bottles too because that is how I am.
Wow. I consider the weekend good if I remembered to feed people. And cats.
Chickadee’s got your number! Just find an amazing, can’t-be-passed-up deal, and it’s as good as hers. ;-)
You put me to shame. I only got ONE load of laundry done. And it’s still sitting in the dryer. So I guess it’s not really done. That’s almost the only thing I did this weekend (other than pick my daughter up from camp).
Jeez, lady. You did all that, and you’re expecting a smackdown from us for forgetting to freeze the phallic thingies? No dice. Ice cubes work just fine, I’m sure. So you ARE made of awesome. The end.
And…now you must tell us where all that energy came from. FFP exercising? Someone-is-coming-to-visit type motivation? Extra strong coffee? I neeeeeed that kind of productivity this weekend so please spill your secret!
I am the mom who is always showing up at the school at 11 with a lame-ass tuna sandwich on two different kinds of bread (usually the end pieces), a juice box and one limp carrot. I figure that if I put it in a paper bag that I’ve decorated with a glitter marker or some of those puffy stickers of clouds, that should divert attention away from the fact that my child’s lunch is neither imaginative nor at the proper temperature. School lunches will be the death of me.
Clean all the things! was what came to my mind, as well. As soon as my girlfriends and I saw that cartoon, we quickly incorporated it into our groupspeak. :)