We fought the beach, and the beach won. A sandy time was had by all. Monkey and I are still the whitest white people on the planet. (Chickadee has browned up a bit, but Monkey and I are still casting a fierce glare off of ourselves.) The children are now exhausted and “resting” in front of the TV, and I am finishing up your queries rather than looking in the mirror to see how badly burnt I became through the SPF 45 sunblock.

Genuine wants to know what we would be writing about, if we were collaborating on a book.

“You Too Can Overcome Your Obsession With Nudity,” by Genuine as told to Mir (fully clothed). (Fiction.)

Hmmmm, Gen, I dunno. Is that an offer? I think I could probably put some sarcasm into that Genuine Romance for you and double your readership ya know…. (Fact, maybe.)

Angela wants to know what superhero I’ve always dreamed of being or having.

Remember Gleek, the monkey on Superfriends? Mmmmmmm. (Fiction. Ewwwwww.)

As a child, I often dreamt of being part of the G-Force from Battle Of The Planets. I don’t know why that particular show caught my interest so much. I think I liked that they were a family and fought crime together. Or maybe it was just the part where the one guy would put out his magic watch (or whatever it was) and shout “TRANSMUTE!” and they’d all change. Who knows.

Now that I’m grown-up… hmmm… Spiderman is kinda cool (Monkey told me so). Tobey Maguire isn’t too hard on the eyes, either. (Fact. Heheheheh.)

Tonya wants to know the secrets of Target markdowns, like how do you know if the price is as low as it will go, and why would one size be red-tagged but another not.

Stick with me, grasshopper. I shall teach you the way.

First of all, there are scanners all over Target for a reason. Always scan everything. Items that are marked down corporate-wide will be reduced in the computer system regardless of whether the markdown team has gotten to them or not. Items are often lower than marked, if already red-tagged. So, scan, scan, scan.

Second, it used to be true that final markdowns at Target always ended in a 4. I’m not positive that that’s the case, anymore. But if something was $3.74 or whatever, you knew that was the last price drop. Those little red tags? Have a number in the upper right corner. That’s the percentage off. It’s usually 15, 30, 50, or 75. The stuff that hits 90% off rarely has time to be retagged before it’s sold. If you see something you’re dying to have and it’s at 50% and there’s an entire wall of them, you can probably wait. But if you want an item and there’s only a few left, it can be a gamble to wait.

As for some sizes being tagged and not others, sometimes that’s on purpose and sometimes it’s an oversight. Always ask. The day that my friend and I bought all the cute Sunny Patch Kids stuff, the entire display was clearly marked 75% off and several items my friend was buying were in the computer as 50% off. The cashier gave us the additional markdown with no problem. But occasionally they do intentionally not mark down everything in what seems like it ought to be a “set” of the same stuff.

I heart Target.

Alrighty, I think that wraps it up. Looks like everyone else is out enjoying their Fridays as well. My snippet of good news is that one of the resumes I sent out actually yielded a request for further info, so that’s sort of exciting. I’m trying to pretend it’s exciting and might actually turn into a job. Play along with me; it’s fun!

As always, thanks for playing Facts and Fiction Friday with me. Answers to your queries are crafted from organic materials right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A.