Crossing their furry little legs

By Mir
February 24, 2015

It snowed this morning, which was Terribly Exciting. School was not canceled, however—SAD FACE—which was Terribly Disappointing. My poor, poor children, reared in snowy New England for the first half of their lives, complained that they would surely DIE on the school bus because of the tragic winter weather. There was an actual dusting of snow on the ground! THE HORROR!! Because we are suckers, Otto drove them to school.

Tempting though it is to declare the kids the wussiest wusses of Wussville in the face of this Major Weather Event, that title actually goes to the four-footed family members. You see, there is SNOW just sitting there ON THE PORCH. This is unacceptable. This means the dogs have ventured out just far enough to determine that OUCH OUCH COLD PAWS HELP OHNOES and then they run back inside. This means that it’s nearly lunchtime and neither dog has been outside to pee yet today. They have tiny bladders of steel, true, but I am still very afraid I’ll be stepping in a puddle sometime very soon. (So far they’ve just been sleeping here in my office, though, because Not Peeing uses up a lot of energy and they need naps.)

While we wait for His and Her Highness to deign to venture out for the ceremonial bladder-emptying, let us discuss the miracle of raising smarticles. Specifically, I’m examining a particular Very Dumb Thing a lot of bright kids do, over at Alpha Mom. I did it. My kids are doing it now. It’s making me INSANE. Please come tell me how to make them stop. Or lure the dogs outside. Either one.


  1. LizD

    OK, this is really silly, but I treated both of my dogs like the spoiled, pampered, little princes that they were. If it were me, I would sweep/shovel the snow off the porch so their tender little paws wouldn’t be so cold. And, if needed, I would clear a bit of ground as well.

    See, you don’t have the most pampered dogs on earth!

  2. MaryFran

    And all the dogs here in Boston, who have a 7 ft high channel dug in the snow to get to a 1 ft circle just stuck up their middle finger at your dogs. Well, if they had fingers they would. (please note the sarcasm font – I’m sure the struggle is real ;))

  3. Mary K. in Rockport

    Hmmm, interesting question (bright kids, not the dogs.) In my own case as a smart student who didn’t have to work very hard for a long time in school, I discovered to my dismay that as one moves along in school from elementary, to high school, to college, to graduate school, one’s cohort becomes increasingly intelligent to the point that you, yourself, are eventually, probably, in the middle or even the left end of the bell shaped curve. And you adjust – or give up (I know I’m not answering your question.) My personal Waterloo came in college during a Physics class – i could not grasp Physics despite trying really, really hard. It was extremely humbling, devastating even. I could have gone back and taken Calculus, which I never had, and tried again. But instead, I concluded realistically that I was not as smart as some, and changed my major.

  4. 12tequilas

    This doesn’t help now, but if snow is predicted, stick a tarp out over the yard. After the snow, remove the tarp and you’ll have a tarp-sized non-snowy patch.

  5. Grace

    Mary K’s right about the winnowing effect. I was in the Honors College and everyone was so very smart. Small classes, so you couldn’t hide. We all made As and we all worked hard. Was nice being in a class of kids who could be pushed to work hard but weren’t used to having to. Just like me! We were in the same classes for the basics and some of the electives later on.

    The other thing to watch out for is Impostor Syndrome. I’m sure many smart people feel it, I sure do. II’m good at what I do, but I’m just faking it; one of these days people are going to find out I’m really dumb and then what!?!? It’s something I have to work on, still.

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