The good, the bad, and the furry

By Mir
March 29, 2012

I bet you have no idea how much I like my dog, on account of I hardly ever talk about her. Haaaaaaaaaaaa!

The dog is a constant source of amusement. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. She’s just funny. Plus, she doesn’t have the stomach bug! Or any chronic diseases or developmental impairments! Basically, up until recently, the very worst thing about her is that she thinks a good way to remind you to feed her is to weave around your feet and step directly in front of you until you fall over. Now everyone in the house associates a twisted ankle with KIBBLE O’CLOCK, thanks to her.

She’s a 12-pound jester, providing comic relief amidst the chaos.

Well, I still love her, but I’m afraid she’s crossed the line.

Over the weekend, we were outside enjoying the deck when Licorice ran down the stairs and started running in circles like a dog possessed. Otto, Chickadee and I went to peek down at her, and this is what we saw:

Licorice saw that anole and she WANTED IT. We stood up above her, watching her twist in circles and yip frantically, and wondered what on earth she would DO with the lizard if she could get it. Of course, there was no way she was going to get it, because it was far too high up for her.

Except… Licorice appears to be part gazelle:

We were all having a good time watching her (and Otto snapping pictures, natch) until that lunge that almost brought her up to the terrified little guy. (Seriously, for such a little dog, her vertical leap is impressive.) Then Chickadee could no longer stand it, and went and retrieved the dog and took her inside before she could do anything bad.

Well. We saved that lizard.

Unfortunately, yesterday I was working away here in my office, and I had the door open and the dog was out on the porch. I heard some scuffling, and ran outside and called Licorice.

She came in looking very guilty, and licking her lips.

Uh oh.

Turns out she didn’t eat the lizard; I suspect she gave it a lick once she’d incapacitated it and decided it wasn’t delicious, after all. But she had mortally wounded it and left it on the porch to die.

Chickadee abandoned her puke bucket long enough to come out and have a small meltdown over this poor, crumpled lizard who was clearly gasping for air and in the throes of death. We debated what to do; did I need to figure out reptile CPR? Kill it myself? As we pondered, the lizard finally expired. I tossed him into the bushes and felt very guilty about it.

Later, I gave Licorice a talking to, and explained that LIZARDS ARE OUR FRIENDS. She listened patiently and licked my face, and I’m pretty sure she heard “Blah blah blah Licorice blah blah blah.”

She’s still my favorite but knowing she’s a killer has me a little concerned. Lock up your lizards, folks!

41 Comments

  1. Randi

    My Malamutes will chase (and kill) cats – or would if they hadn’t been raised with them. There’s still the mystery of the neighbor’s suspiciously dead chickens, and the Mals MAY have gotten loose that day, but I still swear it was the local fox!

  2. Aimee

    Oh no. Poor lizard, I’m glad you didn’t have to kill it yourself, as when I got to that part I feared it was going to be another post like Joshilyn’s about the snake, and then I would cry.

    Tell Licorice that gazelles don’t eat lizards. She’s messing up the food chain.

  3. Amy

    This reminds me so much of the “we don’t eat the baby Jesus” talk you had with Licorice. I guess she just never learns :-)

    I’m glad she is such comedic relief though!

  4. LH

    You know how some pets will bring home bugs, birds and lizards? My neighbor’s pet brings home poodles…

    Yuck!

  5. Katie in MA

    Hee hee hee – the LIZARDS ARE OUR FRIENDS! bit has me thinking of Bruce from Finding Nemo (of course) and the whole “Fish are our friends, not our food” bit. Perhaps you should play it for wee darling Licorice? Always good for a chuckle, that one!

  6. Megan

    Eeep! But I LOVE lizards! Our first dog was in Alaska so lizard hunting wasn’t an issue. Our second was FAR too dim to notice a lizard much less puzzle out how to catch it. Obviously the problem is Licorice is a clever and physically adept little dog. Darn these gifted offspring, even the furry variety!

  7. Average Jane

    My little dog, who *is* sick with a bad cough right now, went absolutely bananas this weekend when I walked him into the back yard on a potty break and he discovered that there were three deer standing back there. Of course it would happen when he’s supposed to be calm and taking it easy because he’s sick.

    Speaking of slaying poor creatures on the front stoop, my sister has two cats that are the scourge of their neighborhood critter population. She has to eye them carefully before she lets them in to make sure they aren’t bringing snakes into the house (again).

  8. Grace

    Hah! When we lived in Austin, those little lizards would get into our house on occasion. We never noticed until we saw a tail sticking out of a cat’s mouth…

  9. Javamom

    Kibble o’clock! ha ha ha!

  10. Liza

    That physical leap is impressive! Sorry that you had to deal with an almost-dead lizard friend. And a sick Chickee at the same time. :(

  11. victoria

    Yes, if it’s moving (or smells good) there’s motivation to leap further than expected…..
    Love your rendition of how Licorice heard what you said! Very ”Charlie Brown-adult speak”

  12. Crickett

    When I lived in Louisiana, we had a cat that would catch live lizards and carry them to the back door. Then she would sit there meowing around a mouthful of lizard until someone came out and told her was a brave ferocious hunter/kitty she was. Then she’d drop them on the porch and walk off. The lizard would lay there stunned for a few minutes, then dash off.

  13. Tenessa

    I had a cat who used to bring dead moles, rabbits (little ones), mice, birds and escaped pet hamsters and leave them on the doormat outside the back door. You always had to check for Aravis’ room and board payments before going out to the back yard.

  14. dad

    I suggest a bell on a collar for licorice so that the lizards will be warned and that a moratorium be placed on lizard flavored kibble.

    Teach that dog to slam dunk. If she were human and maintained her vertical leap ratio she could jump completely over a basketball backboard.

  15. Jen

    Ahhhhh!!! She licked you with lizard lips!!! LOL!
    Um. Poor lizard and all that. ;)

  16. alihua

    If your GA is anything like my parent’s GA (Savannah shout-out), then I’m thinking this is an asset and Licorice has now become a contributing member of the household.

    It was my parent’s jack russel that finally ended the mole cricket invasion of 2011. So you need to add “But mole crickets are evil and, thus, fair-game” to your “Lizards are our friends” speech.

    I also thought of the sharks in Finding Nemo :)

  17. Sharon

    LOL @ dad.

    I had a cat that ate any lizards that would get inside. yuck.

  18. Liz

    Ewwwww, you have lizards?!?

  19. Karly

    Hide yo’ lizards!

  20. Arnebya

    Small dogs and toddlers: lizards’ enemies, next on PBS. My two-year-old grabs the less fast by the tails and flings them into the side of the house. No amount of “no, no, no, lizards are our friends” gets through.

  21. Jennifer

    I would love a lizard killing dog. I hate those nasty things.

  22. meghann @ midgetinvasion

    To those that are grossed out by the lizards. . .this is Georgia, y’all. Those saintly lizards eat the bugs that live here. They are the type of bugs that appear in your worst nightmare. (Seriously, you’ve never known fear until you’ve had a palmetto bug fly AT your face.)

    YAY for lizards!

  23. Nelson's Mama

    We have four (yep, count ’em, four) cats and they all go OUT to use the potty via kitty doors. Nelson also does us a BIG favor and lets himself out when we’re gone. The BIG draw back to this system is that our cats often bring in…things.

    Dead birds, shrews, pitiful baby rabbits, chipmunks, skinks and yes, even snakes have all made their way into our home.

    We’ve learned the hard way to lock the doors once warm weather arrives and perform mouth checks before anyone is allowed admittance back inside. :)

  24. Jeanie

    It cudda been worse. One of my dogs was chewing on something in the backyard the other day. I asked my son what it was, and he said it was part of a tree branch. Upon closer inspection, he discovered that it was a rat. Probably half a rat by that time.

  25. Karen

    So, there’ll be no anole terrariums in Monkey’s room any time soon, it’s safe to say.

  26. Stimey

    Ugh. The almost dead animal is the WORST. Remind me to keep my mice away from your vicious, vicious dog.

  27. joaaanna

    That second picture is hysterical!

  28. Susan Getgood

    LOL. My adorable 4 yo dog cash has at least 5 kills of various vermin (chipmunks, possums) that made the mistake of coming into our fenced in yard. this was before we moved from the country and the dogs could go in and out of dog doors at will.

    Now he just barks at squirrels and dreams :-)

  29. Jenn

    Our last dog caught a rabbit and tried to bring it into the house several years ago. He didn’t HURT the rabbit, it escaped and ran out of the yard, but I think he gave it a great big bunny heart attack and it died in our neighbor’s driveway.

    We currently have a Great Pyrenees (a giant breed livestock guardian dog). There are two rabbits living in our backyard and I think the dog has decided that it is his duty to guard them.

  30. Traci

    Comment #1 regarding Malamutes — what memories! Several years ago (pre-kids) I had a Malamute that would occasionally escape in our very rural neighborhood. One day I received a message on my machine from someone complaining that he had seen my Malamute in his yard and then found two dead chickens. He politely informed me if he saw the dog in his yard again, he was going to shoot it. (And yes he was serious.) I called back, crying, pleading for my dog’s life explaining that the dog was like a child to me, please oh please don’t hurt her….she was my baby…
    When I finally took a breath so the man could respond, he simply said, “No need to cry, little miss. I thought it was just a dog. I’d shoot my dog if he was eating mah chickens, so I figured you’d understand why I’d shoot yours.” Then he hung up.
    I sort of miss having such straightforward neighbors, but I REALLY miss that dog. She gave the best lean-into-your-neck hugs. *sniff*

  31. Rasselas

    Oh, hey, a Mir post! Let me settle down with this nice bowl of cereal while I read….

    …oh no. :(

    It’s okay though, dead lizards happen. I cringed and then I laughed.

  32. elz

    Licorice needs the “Nemo” discussion, “Lizards are friends, not food.”

  33. Lulu

    Ick. This is not a post-and-comments to be read while trying to eat one’s lunch.

  34. Sleeping Mom

    Wow you really needed that second picture as proof! That’s insane your dog got up there!

  35. mamaspeak

    I was going to make the same suggestion as your dad. Cat collars have bells on them for just that reason. (For birds, not lizards, though.)

    I’m not sure I would’ve believed the height of the jump had it not been documented so well. Kudos to Otto.

    Today, my youngest was all upset bc she found an ant w/one leg missing. She was very upset and wanted to adopt the ant. My reaction of telling her to get it out of the house, was not the response she was looking for.

  36. Becky M.

    Aw, poor lizard. At least now you know and can be more careful when she’s outside.

    You know what they say. all dogs are wolves on the inside… even adorable fluffheaded poodle mixes.

  37. Joan Murray

    I have 2 dogs, one big and one little. The little one dug up a mole a while back, and was having so much fun playing with it. Until…. the big dog picked it up, and crunch, the mole was laying on the ground dead. both dogs just stood there and the little dog gave the big dog the “well, what do we do now, our fun is ruined” look, until I picked it up (with gloves) and threw it over the fence into the woods. It took me a while to stop laughing. Stupid doggies.

  38. Crissy

    Hide your kids, hide your wives. Hide your lizards too!

  39. Danielle

    I have one smart emotionally blackmailing husky that knows my childfree days and spare moments to walk her and persistantly whines until I do. New reader *Hi* absolutly love you blog

  40. Jackie Joy

    This totally happened to my poor mom when we lived in Hawaii…our terrier bit and “played with” my brother’s lizard and left it mortally wounded. My mom is a major animal lover and was in hysterics. Our neighbor had to come over and put it in a box for disposal. Smallish dogs + littler things = disaster.

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