I do believe in fairies, I do

By Mir
February 7, 2012

The first thing I need to do is offer up a great big group hug to all of you ravishingly pretty people who commented and emailed and kept my little family in your thoughts when I so rudely up and announced I needed to go silent for a while. I’m not sure what I thought was going to happen when I did that—I wasn’t really thinking about the possible reaction, only that I needed to get away from the computer—but I was pleasantly overwhelmed by how kind and patient you’ve all been. So thank you for that, so much.

The second thing I need to do is explain that I am often guilty of what we refer to as “magical thinking” tendencies. As in: As long as I don’t say this thing out loud, it isn’t true. Or: If I say this thing out loud, it will JINX IT. No need to point out how utterly crazypants that is, because I’m well aware, believe me. But I’m just laying it out for you, by way of explanation. Sometimes this is how I think.

That’s what happened two weeks ago. I couldn’t say what was true, because it was too scary; and I couldn’t say what I hoped, because saying it might mess it up.

Crazy, I know. In my defense, I was really, really scared.

So. You know how in Peter Pan, Tinkerbell needs everyone to believe in fairies so she can continue to exist? You have to assert your belief, make it central to your thoughts, and it’s what will save her? Honestly, I’ve always found that scene kind of horrible. I mean, I guess it’s supposed to be empowering for little kids, to feel like they’re helping? But the flip side is that it’s an awfully big burden to place on someone, telling them that THEIR THOUGHTS are the difference between life and death for someone else. I don’t know about you, but I often have a bit of trouble wrangling my thoughts. And that’s a big responsibility. (Like, whoa.)

Regardless. Right now I’m doing my own version of believing in fairies with all my heart.

Chickadee spent the last two weeks in the hospital. I have never seen either of my children so sick, nor spent so much time trying to shove the “what ifs” out of my head.

Back in the wake of Monkey’s seizure and the dark days in which I quietly wrestled with the fear that he might have a brain tumor, Monkey was okay. I mean, something was wrong, and he obviously wasn’t running at 100%, but he had no idea how worried we were, or how sick he might be. That, I realize now, was an immeasurable blessing.

There are no words for watching your child wrestle with so much pain, every day, every hour, and then having to stand by helplessly while she sobs and asks over and over, “What’s wrong with me?” Doctors, I’ve learned, work at a pace best described as “maddeningly slow,” and answers are hard to come by when no one realizes that YOUR BABY is the most important thing in the world. (How rude. I mean, really.)

I could not say “she’s going to be okay,” because we didn’t know if she was. And I couldn’t say “we don’t know if she’s going to be okay” because saying that meant giving voice to what I was spending so much of my energy trying to tamp down and suppress.

I hope you’ll forgive me those two weeks of silence. I spent them at the hospital; here at home trying to love on Monkey and soothe his fears and keep things as normal for him as possible; cleaning Chickadee’s room from top to bottom because it made it feel like I was doing something for her; and curled up with Otto, crying (or trying not to), telling him to tell me again, TELL ME AGAIN SHE’S COMING HOME.

Yesterday she was discharged, and I stocked the freezer with ice cream and the fridge with pudding and the pantry with cookies and then I brought her home. She’s lost a lot of weight and it hurts to look at the jutting angles of all those bones that should be under more padding.

She is tired and uncertain and we all know she’s still sick, yes, but she smiles (oh how I have missed that smile) and folds into my lap and lets me smell her hair and I can whisper, “It’s okay, honey. We’re here. We’re getting through this.”

Maybe I still can’t give voice to the specifics (and part of me thinks it’s probably best if I don’t, anyway) but at least now—having slept next to her last night, woken a dozen times just to look at her in the dark and listen to her breathe—I can say that I know she’s going to be well again. Not as quickly as I’d like, of course, but I believe she’s going to be okay.

Even more than I believe in fairies, I believe my girl is strong and brave. That’s what we’re all going to focus on for now.


  1. The Other Laura

    I am holding each and every one of you in as much light as I can muster and sending prayers and if I didn’t live all the way over here in Texas, I would bake you a pie.

  2. Fran

    Sending all sorts of positive thoughts your way. I hope in some small measure you and your family are comforted knowing you are all in our thoughts..

  3. Michele

    God bless you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. Crissy

    OH … my heart hurts for you. Keeping little Chickadee in our prayers.

  5. acharlestongirl

    So happy that she is home!! Prayers and healing vibes still being sent your way. And I Do BELIEVE in fairies. And I too BElIEVE in the strength of your family and the power of that love to strengthen Chickee. Sending you love and hugs.

  6. Chris

    Peace be with you. I can attest there is no better medicine than a mother’s love, you are doing everything you need to for her by loving her.

  7. crazyjane

    Oh, Mir…what a horrible thing to go through. I’ve been thinking of you guys and will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. Leah

    Oh my, I just didn’t breathe nearly the length of reading your post. I can’t imagine how hard it was to live it. I’m sending prayers and love.

  9. Michelle

    I’m so glad she’s home and that your family is all together again – as it should be. Having been through a ‘we don’t know what’s wrong’ myself, I know how scary it was for me (and I was an adult at the time, although just barely), I can only imagine how she’s processing through all of this. I will continue to hold all of you in light and prayers {{{}}}

  10. Leandra

    Oh, thank God. I’ve been at war with myself trying to stay out of your business but also wanting to know that everybody is okay. My prayers for all of you haven’t stopped and they won’t. Thank you for sharing this little bit of good news with us.

    Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, I totally do that magical thinking thing too.

  11. birchsprite

    Ohh. Glad to hear she is on the mend at least…. thinking of you all

  12. Gennie

    I am so so sorry to hear about what Chickadee and the rest of you are going through. My heart hurts for you all. But I’m so happy to hear that she’s home and on the mend. I’m holding you all in my thoughts.

  13. MomQueenBee

    Grace and peace to you, and all of yours.

  14. Alison C

    I believe in fairies and I believe that Chickadee is strong and healthy and will be ok too.

    Love and hugs to everyone.

    (I also have spare matches if you still need them)

  15. Niki

    Praying for all of you guys, and so sorry you have all had to go through this. Truly it is so much worse as a mom to watch one of your kids be sick than it is to be sick yourself.

  16. Dani

    Prayers and good energy and happy, healing thoughts yall’s way. And love, lots of it.

  17. Zuska

    Crying as I read this. Here’s hoping the magic of a mother’s love (heck, the whole family’s love), familiar surroundings, and puppy love from Licorice help to heal your precious daughter. And I’m sure the pudding, ice cream and cookies will work their own magic too. I’m holding you all very close in my thoughts.

  18. Arina

    Still thinking of all of you — and so glad to hear that Chickadee is home and healing. Take care of her, and also of yourself!

  19. Marissa

    So much love to you, Chickadee and the whole family. I will add her to my prayers, I hope her recovery continues and you all get to have a little calm — finally.

  20. Chris in NY

    Sending you and your whole family prayers for strength and grace in this difficult time.

  21. Katherine

    Praying for all of you. I’ve been through my own, we don’t know what’s wrong with your kid – though it wasn’t nearly as bad as yours (no hospitalization), it was still plenty scary – especially as it involved an under 2 yo toddler who couldn’t tell me much. I hope she gets well quickly!

  22. Katie K.

    Holy cow. So relieved for you that she is home and on the mend. I will keep her in my prayers for coninued improvement. Words can’t describe the fear you feel when your kid is sick, but yours come darn close.

  23. Angela

    Oh mercy that is scary business. You were missed and loved. We are certainly praying for your family!

  24. zchamu

    Oh, Mir. Hugs to you and Chickadee and everyone.

  25. Damsel

    Oh, I am so sorry! I, too, was holding my breath until I got to the “she’s home now” part…. Praying for full healing for Chickadee and endurance for your family!!

  26. RebeccaF.

    I am so sorry for all you are going through. Your family is in my prayers.

  27. Rachel C.

    Love and Light to each of you. Virtual hugs sent your way.

  28. hokgardner

    I am a long time reader and lurker. Just popping my head up to say that I’ll be keeping you all in my thoughts. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  29. Ce-Ce

    Was (and still am) praying for you!!! Glad you’re back – your silence was scaring me.

  30. Sarah H

    love and prayers to you. I know that you are strong people and God is watching over you!

  31. Cindy

    Oh Mir! I pray for a speedy recovery for your baby girl! Hugs!

  32. Mary Jo

    Wow Mir! How scary for all of you! I am so sorry! Sending healing thoughts and vibes your way! Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too!

  33. Sara

    Wishing you peace in the “between time” and prayers as well. You were missed.

  34. Janet

    Sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way.

  35. ste

    Thinking of you all.

  36. Deirdre

    Oh Mir . . . I do believe in fairies, I do, I do, I do . . .
    {{{hugs}}} to all of you. I hope she’s feeling better soon and that all of you have some smooth sailing.

  37. Katie in MA

    Hey, don’t knock magical thinking! It’s a basic tenet of how I navigate my life. And, er, um, I sort of made a deal with the universe that they could have the Superbowl if they could just ease up on you just a leetle, you know, at least back to bearable levels. So happy that everything is headed is a better direction. Keeping you and Chickie in my prayers and sending you lots peace and happy thoughts. (I’d send ice cream, too, but I don’t think it’d make it. Bummer.)

  38. ailo

    Oh my gosh, thank you for letting us know she’s ok, and thank everything that she is ok.

  39. Jill W.

    I second what Leandra said- I have been worried about all of you and praying for you, but didn’t want to bother you. So sorry that Chickie has been ill. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

    Hope this year gives you a break soon. Sheesh!

  40. Liz

    Chickie!!!!!!!!! Lots of love to the Woulda Family.

  41. Jenn

    I just now realized it would have to be something pretty awful for us to lose radio contact with you. I’m glad Chickadee’s home. I’m glad she’s on the mend. And I’m glad you’re back.

  42. Chuck

    Oh my. Thanks for the update but take all the time away you need. Positive energy thoughts coming your way, hope everything continues to get better and better.

  43. Rachel

    I got goosebumps of excitement when I saw *that* you had posted, but nearly burst into tears when I read *what* you had posted. I am so sorry you are all going through this, and I am so happy that Chickadee is home with all of you. Best wishes for all of you, and I really truly believe in tinkerbell, so I know everything will be ok.

  44. Mom24

    I really don’t have words, but definitely keeping all of you in my prayers. I hope she continues to improve.

  45. Robyn

    It seems slightly off-balanced on my part to be sobbing for a girl, her brother and her mom (and Otto of course) that I’ve never met, likely never will meet and yet feel such kindred spirits with, but here I am. I’m so sorry Chickadee has been ill. I’m so glad she’s home for those too big for your lap cuddles and can heal near her annoying, but totally lovable brother and parents that love and adore her.

    My own Thing 1 is scarily similar to Chickadee. I swear Thing 2 is Monkey’s long lost brother. And just for kicks, we added Thing 3, who is a cross between Florence Nightengale and George Carlin. I’ve been doing a lot of crying and bargaining with the universe for Thing 1 and Thing 2 these days so it’s no problem to add in a few tears and thoughts for all of you.

    And Mir, you’re pretty and stronger than you know, but don’t forget to take care of yourself too.

  46. Trish

    Praying for Chickadee and for all of you. And believing in fairies.

  47. Beverly

    Oh, so terrifying. :(

    Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

  48. Sheryl

    Nothing worse than having your kid be in pain and not be able to do anything about it. Thinking of you all.

  49. Shannon

    Many, many prayers and vibes for Chickadee and your whole family.

  50. Mom101

    Sending so much love and light and fairy dust right now, Mir. If she’s half as much a fighter as her mama, I’d imagine that bodes well for her.

    Thinking of you lots. xo

  51. liv

    Oh, crying. Crying! How terrifying. Leandra took the words out of my mouth — I’ve been fighting with myself to just leave you be and praying super hard that everything was okay. I’m glad Chickadee is home and on her way to well. I’m so sorry you had such a horrible couple of weeks. 2015 is gonna rock, right??

  52. Pamela

    You’re all in my thoughts.

  53. erma

    Sending positive thoughts and many hugs to Chickadee, you and your family. What a scary time. I am so glad she is home now. Much love to all of you.

  54. Frank

    man I ‘SO’ wish I had something cool, and witty, and funny, and helpful, etc. to say to help you smile today. In reality, i got nothin’. So I’ll leave you with promises of good karma being sent yoru way, and my 2 favorite dumb jokes:

    Q. Why does the ocean roar?
    A. You would, too.. if you had lobsters in your bed.

    Q. What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
    A. Dam!

  55. Jen

    Prayers and virtual hugs coming yours way. And everything everyone else has already said better than I.

  56. Gwen

    So sorry to hear about all this. Prayers for Chickie and all of you.

  57. Julie in Austin (now Colorado)

    I’m sending my prayers for your sweet Chickadee to have a smooth and swift recovery! Peace be with you and your family!

  58. Otto

    I’m happy you’re back, too.

    And so I’ll share this snippet of conversation with your readers, plucked from our ongoing IM chat …

    Otto: I was just talking to Janice, said you posted. Said you were worried about losing readers, told her that if you get a lot of comments, that’s a sign they’re still there.

    (Checks number of comments)

    Otto: They like you! They really like you!

    Mir: People are so nice. There are so many (redacteds) on the Internet, I forget that. That most of them are just so nice.

    And she’s right – you people in her computer? You’re all very nice. And pretty. (I don’t think I’ll get in trouble for saying that.) (But just in case – YOU’RE NOT AS PRETTY AS MY WIFE.)


  59. Jean

    OMG Mir, thank God she’s going to be ok!!! I cannot imagine how scary this must have been for all of you over the past two weeks. My heart breaks for you all. But Chickadee is going to be ok…YAYAYAY!!! Tell her we all thinks she’s amazing and that we are all hoping she heals super fast.

  60. Eileen

    omg….I am simply a reader who stumbled upon your blog some months ago…but now not a day goes by that I don’t stop over to read and smile.

    my babies are my everything too (though babies may be a stretch, they are 14 and 12 :)). my heart goes out to you and your baby…may whatever ails her get the hell out.

    good thoughts and prayers for your family….

  61. sophie

    Many good thoughts, white light, and fairy dust continue to be headed towards you. I am so glad that she is home and smiling-if only a bit. Hang in there. I’m not waiting for 2013. I’m claiming a good rest of the year starting RIGHT THIS MINUTE!

  62. DW

    So sorry Chickie.

    I am keeping her and your family in my thoughts.


  63. heidi

    Sending prayers your way.

  64. Rebecca

    Magical thinking is a wonderful thing. Believing is magic and we all believe that Chickadee will recover and be her wonderful self again.

    You guys are in my prayers.

  65. Hope

    Feeling for you.

  66. Heather Cook

    I just wanted to tell you that I spent a couple weeks in the hospital when I was about Chickadee’s age… I had Toxic Shock Syndrome. It sucked.

    But, when I came out the other side, I was aware that I was stronger mentally than ever before.

    Hope that somehow helps! :)

    Prayers and blessings for you!

  67. Keryn

    It seems that Leandra spoke for many of us–me, too. I am SO grateful that your girl is home, safe and healing. Please know I have been praying for you, and will be here whenever you are ready to come back to regular posting. As I suspect most of us will.

  68. paige

    Sending prayers and positive thoughts and holding you all in the light. How frightening! I hope Chickie has a steady recovery. Hugs to all of you. Hoping, too, that this is the last of the horribleness and that it’s all canceled out by Chickadee getting well.

  69. bob

    That is what I’ve been waiting to hear. What fantastic news that she’s home. I know this is not the end of it, instead a beginning, but it is infinitely better when she’s home.

    I am so happy for all of you.

  70. elizabeth

    been thinking of you guys. glad things are on more of an upswing.

  71. Tracy B

    {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} and prayers. We could ALL use some prayers….I’m looking forward to 2013 already.

  72. Liri

    hoping for a fast recovery for Chickadee and some peace of mind for you!

  73. KGP

    Thinking of you all and wishing Chickadee a speedy recovery.

  74. Amelia

    Argg. I’m in tears. Thank you for letting us know how best to pray for you. I’m so glad she is back home now.

  75. Jenn

    Sending every bit of my very fierce Mommy love Chickie’s way. I’m so glad she’s home. Thoughts and prayer for you too.

  76. Christy

    Oh goodness, you poor puppy. What a rough couple of weeks, and how scary – I am so so sorry to hear you’ve been going through this. You guys will be in our prayers for sure, and I hope you are coping okay. Let us know if there’s anything more tangible you need….(Canadian candy? Snow? Dude, I don’t know…but if there is anything….).

    Peace girl. Hang in there.

  77. Lisa

    Wishing a gentle, steady recovery for Chickadee and strength for all of you.

  78. Kristi

    Oh Mir! So, so sorry for you all. Sharing whatever fairy dust I have to heal your hearts.

  79. ccr in MA

    Oh, she IS going to be all right. We’re all here with you on that. Do whatever you need to, just know you’re not alone.

  80. Aimee

    I am so glad that your girl is home with you again. So, so glad. For Chickadee and you and Monkey and Otto I will believe in fairies, whistle, clap, stomp, and pray for speedy healing.

  81. Arnebya

    So sorry that you are dealing with this, and equally glad that she is home. I subscribe to the same crazypantsness about speaking/not speaking about things and it hasn’t really worked out that well for me either (doesn’t mean I’ll stop anytime soon, though; it’s kinda too deep in there). But if good wishes/vibes/juju/thoughts/prayers DO work, you have all that I can transmit via the magical interwebs and more.

  82. Billie

    Sending good thoughts your way!

    As one other reader said, I wanted to cheer when my RSS feed showed a new post. Tears were in my eyes as I read. I’m sorry that you and your family and especially Chickie has to go through this tough thing.

    Please take the time you need, for yourself and for your family. We will all be here when you get back. I have been a long time lurker and only occasional commenter, but I have read your blog for about 4 years. I’m not going anywhere and neither are all of these other people. :)

    Oh, and Otto = LOVE!

  83. liz

    Thinking of you all and sending love and kisses. And hugs, plenty of hugs.

  84. Denise


  85. marianne

    I am a daily reader, though i rarely comment. So glad you are back and hoping that everything turns out ok! I have a dd chickadee’s age, she is also a band geek :) So I can totally put myself in your shoes and it sounds so terrifying. Praying for you all!

  86. Lisa

    Maybe I don’t believe in fairies, but I do believe in One who can heal… and sending prayers for you and Chickadee and Monkey and Otto.

  87. Melinda

    I just want to join in the chorus of good thoughts and prayers and holding you all in the light. Hoping Chickie (and therefore her worried momma and loving family) are feeling oh so much better very, very soon.

  88. Amy @ Binkytowne

    Sending a few of my imaginary fairies over to help turn that ice cream into delicious chocolate milkshakes and banana splits. I can only imagine what you’ve been feeling and I hope you are feeling better now too. Curling up next to your children has magical properties and so does the love on one tough mama. Thinking of you guys.

  89. Jen

    Oh my God Mir! I can’t imagine what you and your family have been through the last two weeks. I hope the doctors can find what’s wrong and make it all better. Hugs to all of you.

  90. Paula Douglas

    Usual lurker here – I’ve been worried, glad you posted. So sorry that you’re going through this. Positive thoughts to all of you! You won’t lose readers – you’re that good!

  91. Diane

    Praying for Chickadee and Monkey and you and Otto – peace that passes understanding, for continual progress, patience and love, which can heal battered hearts.

  92. Megan

    Otto, you’re awesome.

    And of COURSE there are a million comments – no one’s going anywhere ’cause these aren’t *just* readers, they’re friends.

  93. Allanna

    Oh, I’m glad that Chickie’s home … We’re sending prayers that she’ll get back to better-than-normal asap.

  94. Sharon

    Prayers continue and good thoughts sent from this mom, too. Hugs to all of you ~

  95. amanda

    I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Hugs to you, Chickadee, Monkey, and Otto.

  96. Mary

    Damn, it has been one.thing.after.another.this.year. Glad she’s home and here’s hoping for a speedy recovery!

  97. JP

    Oh, how scary! Nothing is worse than that helpless feeling when you have a really sick kid and can’t help them feel better. As for us, the faithful readers, we will be here when you come back, take the time you need – family is always more important. Good healing thoughts to Chickie, and hugs to the rest of you.

  98. Kady

    Oh my gosh, I cannot believe what you all have been through. So glad to hear that Chickie is on the mend. Sending a big thank you to the universe that she’s home and getting well and wishing you all a happy recovery. Yikes, that was scary!

  99. parodie

    Wow. I am so sorry you had such a rough few weeks. Prayers for healing and wholeness and peace (and answers!).

  100. Debbi

    Oh, my, I can only add my prayers and healing thoughts to all the others. You’re stronger than you know …

  101. Beth A.

    Ok, thoughts here…(kind of like Carmen’s stream of thought Sundays–only it’s Tuesday and I’m not Carmen)…
    1. So glad you are back.
    2. Even more glad that Chickadee came home from the hospital. I hope that the love and comfort of home will help her to heal even faster. And I hope that each day removes some of the strain of the past two weeks.
    3. Glad that Otto is back too. :) His comments are always entertaining.
    4. Otto–it’s a little cramped for all the Mir fans in her computer…could you get her a newer and bigger one so that we can have some leg room?

  102. Renee

    So glad Chickie is back home, but so sorry she was sick. Sending up prayers for your family, & sending virtual hugs to all y’all!

  103. KarenV

    I’m not sure I’ve ever commented before but I found your blog a while ago and really enjoy it. I was thrilled to see a post from you pop up in my reader today but sad and concerned to hear that Chickadee has been so poorly. I hope she recovers quickly – you are all in my thoughts.

  104. Christine H

    Wow….just wow. I can only imagine the worry, stress, and…everything else that you and your family have been going through. I’m so glad that she is home and is getting better. Ice cream for all, I say. And although I am happy that you are writing again, I hope it’s not a chore for you. Do whatever you need to do…I don’t think we’re going anywhere. : )

  105. jadine

    Yeesh. So scary and all-consuming. I’m glad she’s home, and wish her a steady and complete recovery. You, too.

  106. Tara

    I’m sorry your child is ill. That is so hard to cope with, when you don’t know what the problem is or when it will go away. I will keep your family in prayers, pray that God gives you strength and comfort. I’m glad your baby is home. Home is good.

  107. Headless Mom

    Glad things are on the mend but still praying for you guys. xo

  108. Karen R.

    What an awful, horrible thing for all of you to go through. I hope you all had lots of real-life support, and I’m so glad that Chickadee will be okay. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  109. Lucinda

    My God Mir! I’ve been thinking about you and praying for your family this whole time but I never imagined it would something like this. So glad Chickadee is home. I know you are holding her extra tight right now. More love and more prayers for all of you. Yes, your readers will still be here if you need to take more time.

  110. Heather

    I’ve been thinking of your family since you have been gone and hoping that you just needed a breather. Was not expecting that your sweet girl has been ailing. I am so sorry for your family. :(

    I, too, tend you live in the world of ‘if I don’t say it out loud, it won’t come true’, and I am usually happy there. Ever the optimist, this works well for me.

    I hope your Chickie is well on her way to recovery and I certainly believe that being home will ensure that happens quickly! Love is the best medicine!

    Take care of that family, Mir and Otto – you take care of our (your) Mir! I am expecting only wonderful things to happen in your family for the rest of the year!!

  111. kris

    Oh my – I’m sending all the good vibes I can muster towards Chickadee and the rest of you… I hope you all heal quickly and well.

  112. cardinal

    You have earned an express ticket to 2013 where love and joy abounds. (Well, I hope the rest of 2012 is that way too.) Piling my prayers on top of the others.

  113. MomCat

    God Bless you both…I know that terrified feeling all too well. I’m glad she is home. (Eat, Chickadee, Eat! While she has the treats!) (: I hope all is back to normal, or its closest equivalent, soon.

  114. Mandy

    Sending love and healing thoughts for you all from afar.

  115. emily

    I was so relieved to see a post from you in my reader this morning, but truly shocked to read your words. I can’t imagine what you must have gone through. I have thought of you and your family often over the last few weeks, and will continue to keep praying for all of you. I’m so glad that your girl is safely home now, and you can give her all of the love that she will allow. Many hugs for you!

  116. KarenP

    So sorry to hear about Chickadee. Happy to hear she has come home. When you stopped writing I thought it might have something to do with your parents not one of your children.
    Hope she feels better and gets stronger every day.

  117. Little Bird

    (that would be my version of a hug)
    I believe in fairies too! And anything else that keeps you and yours (and me and mine) out of the hospital!
    She’s home!! It’s an improvement! Celebrate!

  118. Midj

    Was thrilled to see your blog post pop up on my reader this morning. Hope you’re starting to find some of the answers you’ll need to get Chickie back up on her feet. As I type this, you’re up to 110 comments and Otto is right… We like you, we really like you. Welcome back, Mir. You (and the fam) were missed.


  119. Tracey

    Oh, Mir…I am in tears at my desk at work for you and your family. I don’t really *know* you, but I read about your kids from the perspective of having my own “special-needs” child (muscular dystrophy-I’ve commented before) and I am right there with you. Totally different issues, but I can so relate to the fear, worry, constant feeling of heartbreak. And all you want to do is make it better, but you can’t, and that’s really the worst part, for me anyway. Hang in there-and you don’t have to believe in fairies, but I hope all these positive thoughts and prayers all of us are sending your way provide at least some comfort and strength (although you have so much of that on your own!!) to help you through these trying times.

  120. elz

    I don’t know Chickadee, but I feel that I know her and I know she is incredibly strong. Her recovery may be slow; there will undoubtedly be setbacks. But, she will get better. You all will.

  121. diane

    Oh Mir. You made me cry openly on public transit. Um…totally hormones. Yes!
    There is no way to tell a complete stranger that you’ve been following since her children were wee babes how much they mean to you without sounding creepy. But I am not kidding when I say I am so happy you are back because you are one of the strongest, bravest, most honest and intelligent women on the internet. I have respect for you as a woman and mother that I can’t even begin to express.
    I’m so, so sorry and sad that THIS is what shut you down from blogging. I am happy that Chicky is home and wish SO MUCH GOODNESS to your family right now because, by god, you deserve it.
    Please rest and take good care of yourself and your baby girl and your Monkey, and know how much you are being lifted up in thoughts and prayers right now. Let Otto hold you and rub your back and tell you how very pretty you are and that your hair looks lovely every single day.

  122. Ann from St. Peter MN

    Sending good thoughts your way – with all the positive comments here, you think we could collectively turn the tide on your sucktastic 2012. Here’s hoping we still can!

  123. amy

    I’m so glad she’s home, so sorry she was sick! Wishing you all the best!! Hugs to all of you.

  124. BethRD

    I had no idea (of course, how would I?) that you were going through such a scary thing. I’m so glad she’s home now, and I will be thinking of you all, especially Chickadee, and hoping for her speedy recovery.

  125. Stacy

    I am so sorry you had to go through that and I hope and pray that she gets well soon.

  126. Michelle

    Thanks for the update, you’ve been on my mind since you announced your break and I’ve been checking daily to see if you were okay. Whatever I imagined was going on wasn’t quite as heavy as reality, I guess I should work on my imagination (and worry about bigger things, whenever I worry, reality is never quite as bad, you know?). My heart goes out to you all, and I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope Chickadee is back to her spunky self really soon.

  127. summer

    I’ve been quietly stalking your blog and looking for FB updates since your last post, and even though I didn’t reach out to express it, you and your family have been in my thoughts. (I was also quite certain that you were just upset about Monkey’s school. Never occured to me that it could have been so much worse.) Love and prayers are coming your way! And this may sound very silly, but I just got a gorgeous new fancy slow cooker, and I’m going to dedicate it’s inaugural meal to Chickadee’s good health.

  128. lizneust

    Keeping you and your entire family in my heart and prayers. Here’s to 2012 getting better and better, day by day.

  129. Lisa

    Oh, Mir. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through these past couple of weeks. You’ve been missed here and you and the Chick are in my thoughts–wishing you both peace and strength and healing.

  130. Another Jenn

    Oh goodness! Wishing all the best for Chickadee and all of the rest of you! I’ve been reading (if not commenting) for, oh, years now and a little break won’t keep me (or most of the rest of us it seems) away. We will still be here when you get back to tell you that you are pretty and your hair is looking particularly stunning today.

  131. Catherine

    Oh Mir, I’m so sorry. This brings me right back to when my daughter was sick (complications from an appendectomy). We kept telling her that if she would just take her medicine/cooperate with the doctors, she would get better. And she didn’t, not for quite a while, and it felt awful. And that was even with me not knowing/forcefully denying how ill she was. Sending lots of get-well wishes to you all.

  132. Laura

    You are all strong and brave and in my thoughts.

  133. jodifur

    I’m glad your back. I believe in fairies too. Much love.

  134. Helen Jane

    To the brains! To all the brains in the world, especially yours, for health and happiness and all the electricity they need to keep us going.

    All the best, my love.

  135. Annie

    I spent way too much time in the hospital with a loved one in 2011, and we KNEW what was wrong. Hugs, healing, and love your way.

  136. Jean

    My thoughts and prayers and good wishes to you and your family.
    Much love,

  137. Stephanie

    Another usual lurker sending hopes for speedy healing and that all things trivial will LEAVE MIR ALONE so she can focus on her sweet family.

  138. Fun mama

    Praying for your family!

  139. Tootsie Farklepants

    Oh, Mir. XOXOXO ….and that Otto of yours, what a doll :))

  140. Joanne

    OK, first off, I realized that I need to read more carefully. I totally missed the part of your last post saying you were going radio-silent for a while.

    Second — you do NOT need our permission to take a few days off. You realize that, right? We will be here when you come back, and will understand whatever you want to share.

    We readers out here — may not personally know you — but we are your friends and supporters, and are here for you. You need support or advice — we give it, whether you want it or not. You need time – you got it. Unquestionably. You need our love and prayers — you have them all.

    Good luck…. a teenager on the mend … is truly feeling better when she gets cranky again.

  141. Katie in CA

    OMG, there is nothing scarier than a child in the hospital. I am SUPER glad she is home, and on the mend. Prayers and fairy dust your way.

  142. el-e-e

    Thank you for posting so that we can lift you and Chickie, and all of you up in prayer. I’m so sorry she’s been sick. Wishing for continued recovery for all of you.

  143. Becky

    How terrifying! I’m so glad Chickie is back home, and I’m believing with all my might that everything will be much better soon.

    (You know it would take a MUCH longer hiatus that this to shake all of us, right? Take the time you need – we’ll be here when you get back.)

  144. RuthWells

    You know how much I believe in you and in Chickie. Fairy dust headed your way.

  145. Mom2trplts

    I had no idea one sentence could effectively suck the air right out of me. I send all of you strength and good wishes. We are here for you, Mir.

  146. Robin

    You did the right thing by taking time off to be there for your daughter–so glad to hear she is home, and hoping she makes a full recovery very very soon. No apologies to your public necessary, nobody is going anywhere. xxxooo

  147. ladybug

    It’s hard to have your heart outside your body, isn’t it? You can’t protect it as well. I am glad to hear that Chickie is home & Monkey is OK. Best Wishes.

  148. Barbara

    Positive healthy light and love-filled thoughts to you and your family. This is hard, and you are all strong. It WILL be ok.

  149. Jamie

    Oh Mir, how scary! Hugs and happy, healthy thoughts coming your way. Give Chickie a great big hug from those of us out here in the internet that aren’t @$$holes! :)

  150. Gaylin

    I missed you but family is more important for you than us folks out here.
    I hope Chickadee recovers quickly and you do as well.

  151. KristenM

    Your family is in my prayers, and I hope everything continues to improve. I’ll be hugging my own daughter a little tighter tonight.

  152. suzie

    Oh, just yesterday I almost sent you an email to let you know you were missed and in my thoughts. But then I felt like a weirdo, since you don’t know me and I don’t really know you. But you were missed, and thought about.

    I can join you in the magical thinking. Here’s to Chickadee and her healing process. Much love to you both –

  153. Mandy

    So sorry to hear that this year is still kicking butt! I’m glad your girl is home with you and I’m sending love and prayers your way. We are all here for you when you are ready to “talk”.

  154. MamaChristy

    Bless you all.

  155. Susan

    Sending love and prayers and great big clouds of sparkly fairy dust.

  156. Heather

    That must be so scary. I’m sorry. Sending lots of prayers your way <3

  157. Melanie

    I’m sending love, more prayers, and good thoughts to you guys!

    I share the same sentiment as #145. I had no idea the air could be sucked out of me like that.

    Your family means a lot to a bunch of us out here in the interwebz! :)

  158. Fabs

    My heart breaks for you, that you have to go through this. I am sending magical thoughts your way that Chickadee gets better fast.

  159. sassymonkey

    She is strong and brave. And so are you and Otto and Monkey.

    And that sound you hear? It’s all of us clapping saying that we believe, too.

  160. Mar H

    Sending a big dose of healing your way. Don’t worry about your blog readers, just take care of your family, and yourself. :)

  161. Kelly

    So, so glad to hear that you are all home and you get to have all of your babies under your own roof. I have had sick children in hospitals before and there is truly nothing worse. Praying that you have a wonderfully calm, relaxing time at home now where she can heal and you can all rest. Hang in there.

  162. Leslie

    Oh, Mir! I’m so sorry, and so glad Chickadee is home and on her way to recovery. Prayers going up for all of you!

  163. Lady M

    Mir, I hope that she continues to feel and be better! My thoughts are with you.

  164. Crista

    Re: Otto’s comment at #58~ if you thought people “liked” you after 50 comments, you surely must be feeling The Love at almost 160 now. It is weird to me to feel so connected (?) to someone I have only “met” inside the computer ;), but there you have it. And there are a lot of us who feel this way, judging from a few of the comments I read. I’d have to say, almost 160 of us! And I know there will be more throughout the day, and even more who don’t comment.
    I think I’ve lost track of what I was trying to say here, which is: Welcome back, I’m glad Chickie is home, and I will continue to keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

  165. Maria

    I do believe in badass moms. I do, I do.

  166. Mer

    Praying for all of you.

    If she can eat it, I highly recommend Haagen-Daaz. I’m serious, really. I lost a scary amount of weight after my divorce and had to pack as many calories into the small amount of food I could eat, and Haagen-Daaz helped get me to the point where it didn’t hurt to sit anymore.

    Also, I wouldn’t cal it magical thinking, just self-preservation. Focus on what you need to do to survive and ignore the rest until you have brain space for it.

  167. Corey

    I can’t even… you guys are in my thoughts.

  168. Leah

    Wow, so scary. Healing thoughts being sent Chickadee’s way!

  169. aly

    oh mir. i had no idea– i am so sorry for what you’ve been through. thank goodness she’s back home, getting better. your whole family is in my thoughts!

  170. Scottsdale Girl

    Being home, in her own bed, will hopefully do WONDERS for a recovery. Hospitals SUCK.

    SEnding lots of healing wishes your way and believing in the power of intarwebz prayers!

  171. Tenessa

    I’ve been thinking of you and yours and will continue to do so. I have to say that Otto must be the best person to go through tough times with as a great sense of humor will make even the darkest days a little brighter. {internet hugs} in an entirely non-creepy way.

  172. Kim W.

    Otto, you crack me up. I’m thinking of you all, all good thoughts and strong thoughts and fattening up that chickie of yours as she gets stronger and stronger, and love to Monkey too.

  173. Natasha

    I could not be more happy to have an update from you! Like so many people, I didn’t want to intrude or make a bother of myself, but you and your family have been omnipresent in my thoughts.

    I am so glad that Chickie is moving in the right direction, and I will continue to read whatever you post, whenever you post it.

    Much love to you and yours.

  174. E's Mommy

    I’m so sorry that things have been so very hard and scary for your family. And I’m so glad that Chickadee is getting better and is back home with all of you. I’ll be sending good thoughts your way!

  175. Kelly

    I believe in fairies and the strength of love and moms. And humor – thanks to Otto.

    Keeping all of you in my thoughts, and jumping for joy your girl is where you can give her hugs every minute if need be.

  176. Jan

    As a mama, this just strikes terror into my heart for all of you. Good thoughts, magical thinking, prayers, positive energy, happy vibes … whatever you want to call it, at least you have *that* in spades right now.

    Take good care of all of you. *hugs*

  177. Rachel

    Prayers & hugs from North Dakota.

  178. Asha Dornfest {Parent Hacks}

    Oh, Mir! Thanks goodness for you, for recovery, for fairies! Boy do I get the need to go dark and the need to not jinx things by talking about them and the vortex that is fear for your child. Apologies are never necessary for that. I am thinking of you and sending you all my healing thoughts and lots of ice cream.

  179. Paula C

    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Best of luck to you all.

  180. Laura

    I’m so sorry for what you’ve been going through. Everyday life just doesn’t matter when your child is ill. My thoughts go out to your entire family. {{{hugs}}}

  181. Leah

    Praying, praying praying for you. I don’t like to say things either, the whole speak them into existence thing. I pray she is healed quickly.

  182. lily

    I hope Chickadee gets well soon.

  183. Lauren

    I’ve been reading this blog for years, but rarely comment. I wanted to say that even the lurkers are thinking of you. I appreciate the update and hope she has a speedy recovery. I can’t imagine how scary it must be. I’ll be thinking of you and Chickadee.

  184. leftofordinary

    Daily reader, rare commenter… but know that I’ve been thinking of your family every day since you said you needed to step away.

    If I could package up healing and peaceful energy and send it to you, I would. I wish I could. If it takes fairies to make this better… then I’ll wish on 100 fairies. :) Hugs to Chickie and you and your whole family.

  185. Brigid

    So my mom has been worrying to me about you for days and I kept poo-pooing her worries because I too do not like to tempt fate or kismit, or whatever you want to call it. I’m so sorry to hear that there was, indeed, reason to be so worried. Sending good ju-ju to you and your Chickadee.

  186. TC

    You don’t need to tell more than you have, unless you NEED to, if you know what I mean.

    Also? I do magical thinking, too, except the opposite kind, where by saying the worst things out loud, I figure that will make everyone tell me I’m wrong and it’s not possible and will make it NOT happen. It’s craziness. But I know how you feel.

    And also times two? The cleaning the room is EXACTLY what I do whenever my child is in ANY kind of pain. It’s become a sort of family joke, in fact, that one of these day’s Em’s just going to invent a heartbreak of some kind, just so that I’ll wet-mop her floor for her and dust her ceiling fan.

    We love you. And Chickie. And Monkey and Otto, too. I’m glad Chickie’s home. Let us know if you need anything that we can provide, and we’ll make it happen.

  187. Annette

    I’m so glad she is home! Will keep praying for a full recovery

  188. Beth R

    I’d be surprised if your mental illness number isn’t higher than Joshilyn’s right now!

    So sorry to hear that things have been going so poorly for Chickadee, and thrilled to hear that she’s home. Hugs and good thoughts heading your way!

  189. Julie

    I stop by every day but rarely leave a comment. I’m so sorry to read that your Chickadee has been ill. What a rough two weeks for all of you. I will be keeping all of you in my prayers. I also agree with Otto – you do have the prettiest readers on the internet. ;)

  190. Karen

    Oh Mir… you’re in my prayers, all of you… been in that exact spot for a different reason, I know that horrible agony. It sounds as if you’ve gotten through the worst of it… and the key is … YOU GOT THROUGH THE WORST OF IT. Now focus on the daily.. the smiles.. the “being home together again” thing… and the rest will come with time.

    May the year that began with major suckitude move forward with healing and relief, mentally and physically.

  191. Carolyn

    Ok. I’m just going to say it – What the H-E-Double L???

    When I read you were taking a break, I assumed you were having issues with Monkey’s school or too much “teenage drama” with Chickadee. I never imagined you were surviving a TWO WEEK hospital stay with your oldest. Whoa…I am so sorry you have had to go through this.

    I am so glad to hear that she is home. I hope you can find out what is going on and get her healed and back to teenage angst soon.

    You are in my thoughts.

  192. Diane

    Another daily reader, rare commenter here. (I also might have a small problem with checking Want Not multiple times a day, but that’s a conversation for another time…). Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. She will get better, you will all get through this together.

  193. Kate

    I’m so very sorry you’ve had to go through this. I’m sending all the best wishes, healing thoughts, and positive energy your way. Poor Chickadee. (I rarely comment, but I read your blog every day.)

  194. Michelle

    Mir-I’ve lurked for a long time, so long I feel like you all are like my own family. This time I felt I needed to comment too. I am so sorry you and Chickie (and Otto and Monkey) have to go through this. Health crises are never easy and often very scary. I am glad she is home and on the mend. I often find that ice cream and cookies are a great healer. Sending you virtual cookies and fairy dust and real prayers. This too shall pass and some day you will say….remember when.

  195. HPD

    DITTO to all the above. I don’t understand why so much keeps coming your way!

  196. Liz

    Dude, sometimes fairies are all us wigged-out, tired and slightly neurotic (rightfully so) moms got, you know? Hang in there!!!

  197. Amy

    I’ve followed you for a long time and am de-lurking now to tell you how sorry I am that you all have had to go through this, and everything else you’ve had to deal with recently. My heart aches for you, imagining being in your situation. Cookie/ice cream therapy is very effective, I’ve heard. Sending lots of good energy your way.

  198. s

    I’m so glad to hear your daughter is home but so sad to hear that you’ve all struggled so the last couple weeks. Cannot imagine how you must have felt and hope that things improve rapidly. and yeah, I totally get what you mean about not saying out loud certain things. Totally get it.

  199. Susan

    What a terrifying two weeks you’ve had! So, so glad your sweet girl is home and on the mend. Sending good thoughts to all of you!!

  200. Jenn C.

    Wow. I’m so sorry to hear that you have been going through this.

    I’m so glad to hear Chickie is home and healing.

  201. Edd Fear

    My heart breaks for sick kids. Esp. in the hospital. When the doctors are taking their time. I mean, being thorough. Praying for good things for the Mir household.

  202. Traci

    I had tears streaming down my face while reading your post, and through most of the comments…then I read Otto’s. Now I’m smiling.I feel better knowing you have someone with you that loves you (and your kids) that much.

    And don’t ever feel like you have to do anything to “keep” us reading. As relieved as I was that you did give us an update I would still be checking back in another week or several weeks, months…whatever you needed…if you felt the need to leave for a while.

    Hugs to you and your family.

  203. Erin

    You’ve been in my thoughts, every single day, when I would stop by “just to see” if you were back, and you’ll all continue to be in my thoughts. I can’t begin to imagine the horror, terror, and frustration that you must have felt, but hopefully knowing there’s a huge network of folks out here who love all of you from afar helps a little bit.

    Sending every positive vibe I’ve got in your direction. xo

  204. Anna

    Hugs and prayers and hope that things with Chickie will continue to improve. Or that the doctors will get better at taking care of her.
    Believe me, I follow blogs with far, far less posting. :-P We’ll be here when you are able to come back to us, and I totally understand not wanting to share every detail.

  205. Donna

    Love might not be *all* you need, but know that you all have it, from all of us. xo

  206. Emma

    So there I was thinking it was just that you couldn’t find the right words and about to comment accordingly at Cornered Office … when actually you have been terrified. I’m so sorry to hear about Chickadee, and sending streams of fairy beliefs your way. Also, re Otto’s comment – yours is a blog I would come back to for months and months, maybe even years, to see if you were posting again. So I hope you are not adding further stress to yourself by feeling you need to write here … your readers will wait, I promise.

  207. aem2

    Picture me over here, clapping with all my might to keep the fairies alive. Sending healing thoughts your way.

  208. Karen

    I have checked every day, but didn’t want to pester you as I have been a reader for years and you’ve talked about nearly everything so I knew this must be big. I had no idea how big. I’m so relieved for you that she is home. You all are in my thoughts.

  209. All Adither

    I read this post first thing this morning and have been thinking of you ever since. It sounds like a dreadful few weeks and if you have to resort to magical thinking to make through, then so be it. Whatever it takes. So so glad to hear she’s going to be okay. Sending healing vibes your way.

  210. Emily

    Oh Mir, I’m praying hard for Chickadee’s full recovery and for your heart as you walk beside her, and Otto and Monkey, in this journey.

  211. teachergirl

    i have one baby and another on the way. i don’t know, i cannot imagine, the kind of immense and soul-paralyzing load you have been under over these past two weeks. i can, however, understand waking up every few minutes to make sure your baby is breathing. it’s the most visceral mothering act, i think, save giving birth.

    i send my prayers to you. i send them from my mama heart, for you as a mama and for your baby, who has such a strong mama. she is blessed to have you, who will be her rock and her soft spot and her tigress of an advocate.

    may our Heavenly Father keep you all in the hollow of His hand. you are His child, too. He understands.

  212. Jeanie

    Oh, Mir, how horrible for you! Chickadee, too, of course, as well as the rest of your family. What a nightmare! I’m so happy she’s home and wish her a very speedy and complete recovery. I guess she’s too old for hugs and kisses, but I’m sending them along anyway. I am the world’s biggest worrier — well, maybe after you — so I can imagine what you’ve been going through. And I’m also quite involved with the “magical thinking” myself. Prayers and blessings for you all.

  213. PopC

    Making a fresh entry on my prayer list for you and your family. Glad Chickie is back home. Hope she is back to 100% soon.

  214. Swistle

    This is so hard. I will be thinking of you and of her, and hoping for good things.

  215. cheryl

    So sorry that you all have had to go through something this traumatic. Sending hugs to you all and healing energy to the precious Chickadee.

  216. Jessica

    You prove, time and again, how lucky you and your children are to be in each other’s lives. I often live my life by the “don’t jinx it” method (my nickname is, in fact, “Jinx” because such odd things happen to or around me), and I realize every time how silly it is. Now when I think, “Knock on wood! Knock one wood! Lalalalalalaaaa! I didn’t just think or say that!” I realize that I should be praying about whatever instead, so I take it as a quiet moment to pray about whatever is bugging me. (It’s always something that is bugging me that I do/don’t want to happen.)

    I keep remembering that people are generally good, but the [redacted]s just tend to be the loudest voices we hear. I’ve been keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers, and I know that doesn’t necessarily mean a ton from an internet stranger but…I always think that additional prayers can never hurt. No matter what, prayers are prayers. My philosophy is “pray for a miracle until after the last possible moment it could happen” and small miracles happen daily — even if today’s miracle is just finding out that internet peeps aren’t mostly [redacted]s. ;~)

  217. eileen

    Delurking to say how very, very sorry I am to hear of Chickadee’s illness. My daughter was diagnosed with diabetes a year ago and I’ve said countless times since, that there’s nothing like spending some time in a children’s hospital to make you appreciate a healthy child. I’ll be praying and thinking healthy, healing thoughts for you all as you make your way through this challenge.

  218. Jaime

    adding to the (((HUGS))) and prayers and happiness that she will be okay.

  219. Em

    I wanted to email but was afraid it would look like impatience thinly disguised as concern. So I kept my concern quiet and prayed and will continue to pray for Chickie’s recovery. I am glad you are back but more glad that you’re the kind of mom who left us for a while. Just like I thought you were.

  220. Franny

    thoughts and prayers and karma and love for all of you — I’m sure the past few weeks have been some of the hardest, just know there are lots of us out there pulling for you guys.

  221. Isabel

    My very very best wishes to you and your precious family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


  222. My Kids Mom

    Oh my. I’m sorry I’ve been silent as well. My thoughts have been with you each day as I check my reader to see if you’re back. My heart goes out to your struggles.

  223. abbeyviolet

    My upbringing and coping mechanism says I must bring you all dinner at once….ummmm… but I live in Oklahoma and we’ve never met so I’ll try to surpress that and just send you prayers and virtual fairy dust. Hugs from one mom to another.

  224. Deanna

    Oh dear Mir!! I was so afraid that was what was going on. The only time I ever went dark was when my daughter was in the hospital. I tell you this not for one-upmanship, and not because I’ve read anything like this into chickee’s illness, but to illustrate a light at the end of the tunnel– my 15 year old daughter attempted suicide in July. She then spent three weeks in inpatient psych care. While the most terrifying time of my life, the panic fades and you return to the business of bashing people’s heads in until someone helps your baby!! I hope chickee’s illness is fleeting and you can get back to kicking major butt soon!! Oh and your hair is shiny and bouncy today.

  225. shadymama

    fuckety, mir. that is a super shitty, scary card dealt for alla you, this last two weeks. but i will tell you this, and i will it, cuz it’s a secret: *faeries totally Do Exist, and girlfriend, they got yer back*. thinking of each and every one of you from out here in cyberland. xo

  226. Daisy

    Hugs to both of you. We may be virtual friends, but we’re still friends. We’re here for you, all of us Moms who understand how terrifying a severely ill child can be.

  227. Reb

    God, how frightening. And on top of Monkey’s school questions too. You must have had an utterly dreadful month.

    Best wishes for a quick full recovery for Chickie!

  228. Esme

    ((((HUGS))), I can’t imagine what you must have gone through. The “not knowing” part to me would have been the hardest. Not being able to help your own child when she is in pain must be unfathomaly hard!

    You are welcome for the comments; however, please don’t apologize for being out while your life was turned upside down. I see you Sharing your writing and your life with us as a gift. The minute it becomes overwhelming for whatever reason we are okay with not getting that gift.

    I hope all turns out well for poor chickadee and strength, faith and peace for you and your family.


  229. Mandie

    Delurking for a brief moment only to tell you how sorry I am and may peace and grace be with you and your family.

  230. Julie W

    Like so many commenting today i usually read but havent commented before I’ve been checking often for updates. That’s a real tough hand your family was dealt. I am happy to find out that your daughter (and 2012!?!?) is on the mend. And I too feel a deep need to send you a cassarole and a packet of cookies :)

  231. Chris

    I saved your post for after work because I so enjoy your updates. I am so so sorry for Chickadee and your whole family and am hoping things are figured out so your daughter is truly on the mend. I will give extra kisses to my own tonight and will say an extra prayer for you.

    Wishing you many blessings and much grace during this time.

  232. Lara

    I was so relieved to see you’d posted again but then held my breath as I read about Chickadee. So sorry to hear what you’ve all been through (there is Nothing worse then watching your child in pain and not knowing why or how to fix it!!). So relieved to hear she is home. And hoping that you are getting the answers and support that you need and that Chickadee is well going forward. Hugs.

  233. stef

    Your little one sounds like a fighter. You poor mommy. I can’t even imagine. I hope all gets better. And don’t feel the need to apologize for taking a break. Anyone would do the same thing if they were in your shoes. Hang in there!

  234. LH

    Wow, no wonder you were quiet. I missed you but now understand. Fell better Chickadee.

  235. RinNC

    Holy, holy shit. I’m so sorry. Can’t imagine. I’m reading Peter Pan to my 5-yr-old right now and we just read that scene the other night. We believe in Chickie and you and that you’ll all come through this horrible scare.

  236. Ali

    Another delurker – so glad to hear things are on the upswing. Keeping you all in my thoughts.

  237. Jen

    I was thinking about you this morning even before I saw your update and wondering how things were and whether you were okay. I’m so sorry things have been a total suckfest, but I am so glad that things are moving in the right direction. You’ve got an awful lot of people who are thinking of and praying for and generally just being in your corner. I hope you feel that buoying up and it gives you hope. You are, for me, one of the brightest lights in the Interwebs and I hope we can be a light for you in all of this. Peace, friend, and lots of love.

  238. elswhere

    Thinking of all of you.

  239. Annie

    Oh Mir. I am so sorry that you and Chickie and your whole family are dealing with this. I wish I could bring you all chicken noodle soup. Or possibly some other magic cure-all.

  240. Leanner

    Prayer is a powerful thing! I’ve been through life & death scary with my husband, can’t even imagine my kids. But I can say through those scary times I felt the power of those many prayers from those I knew and those I didn’t. Sending my prayers of healing and peace Chickie’s, your’s, Otto’s and Monkey’s way.

  241. Lise

    Oh dear. What a horrible ordeal for all of you. Praying for answers and for healing. (And I have a feeling that tI’ve been praying for Chickie already, as she might be the anonymous young girl that Kira mentioned on her blog two weeks ago.)

  242. Liz

    I’m sitting here trying to figure out how long I’ve been reading your work, and it’s got to be about 8 years. You wrote a post somewhere back there about seeing a therapist and being in the awful hole of depression and he wrote on the back of his card “It will get better.” That post was transformative for me and got me counseling for my depression. Your honesty about parenting and the beautiful arms wide open approach you take with them has made me a better mom. I’m so, so sorry for what Chickie has gone thru, best rest assured the people inside the computer aren’t going anywhere.

    Now how can we help??? Post links to wantnot all over facebook? Click thru to articles? Comment on particular websites? Walk the dog? Dishes?

    Here’s hoping your girl is feeling better very soon.

  243. Laura

    You know when you contemplated tanking your career due to the need for homeschooling? And we said we’d still be here?

    We’re still here. You can’t be our “best beloved” without lots of love when you return.

  244. jen

    sending you love, hugs and prayers!

  245. Liza

    OMG. I cannot imagine how scary and awful the last 2 weeks must have been. I wish I could come down there and give you and your whole family a big huge hug. I am so glad that your smart, beautiful, amazing girl is back at home, and I hope her health returns to 100% quickly.

  246. Julie

    You are the strongest mama around, and I am in awe. Sending every drop of good karma to your house for healing and happiness for all of you.

  247. Angella

    Oh, Mir.

    Big love and prayers for you all.

  248. Steph

    I think there must not be a more horrible, helpless feeling than when your children are sick and there is nothing you can do. Mir, Otto, Monkey, stay strong. Feel better soon, Chickie! We’re pulling for all of you.

  249. Miriam

    So, so sorry Mir, for all you have been through these last weeks. I am sending prayers, positive thoughts and vibes to you and your family. You are such a fabulous mom, writer, and inspiration! thanks for being you! Hugs.

  250. Karate Mom

    Just earlier today I was going through my Google reader and thought, “I miss Mir! Wonder when she’ll be back?”
    So sorry to hear about all of this, but I will pray for quick and complete recovery for your precious girl.

  251. Navhelowife

    Prayers and peace and strength to you and your family. Thank you for letting us know how things are going, and please let your wonderful kiddos know that there are people near and far who are pulling for them.

  252. Colleen

    All the prayers and love and strength I have are being sent your way. And I happen to believe all of us fellow moms out here, clapping our proverbial hands, can sustain a lot of light and magic. Many blessings to you and yours.

  253. Karen

    Here, don’t be alarmed, but another unfamiliar pair of arms is reaching out of your monitor to give you and your family a big squeeze.

    I’m so sorry to hear Chickadee has been sick, and I know you’re still somewhat holding your breath but she’s home, and you’re all together now. I’m relieved that the biggest hurdle seems to be over. Here, another squeeze then those arms will be on their way.

    Lots of love and prayers, pretty Mir.

  254. Lynda M O

    Your family rests under one roof again; for that we are thankful. Know you are held up to the Universal Healing Power and grace blesses you all.

  255. meredith

    I hope Chickadee will be well soon. I have a daughter the same age and can’t imagine how hard it must be to see her so sick. I love it when you write about her…I think my daughter is a lot alike, maybe that they would be friends if they were in the same school. Hugs to you all.

  256. jetmom4


  257. kapgaf

    Oh Mir, you are so brave and not so crazypants – I do that “if I don’t say it, it won’t happen” “if I say it, it will jinx it” thing and I’m in my mid 50s! – you and your family have snuggled your way into my life and I feel for you and your family as if I knew you so I hope you will accept my warmest healing thoughts for all of you.

    Sniffing hair, yes, that heals many things (although not necessarily the crazypants reputation!).

  258. Jackie

    So very sorry that you’ve been going through this. Sending positive vibes of healing and peace your way.

  259. vanessa

    oh my god, I’m so sorry. I hope that everything is okay-ish. I am holding Chickie, and all of you, in the light.

  260. Leslie

    Oh Mir, just like some other commenters, I thought you were just taking some time off to deal with Hippie School changes. I am sorry you and your family are going through such a difficult time, but I’m happy that Chickie is on the mend. You are all in my thoughts.

  261. Kristine N

    I have tears rolling down my cheeks as I read this. I just thought also that it was Hippie School Prayers for all of you and glad that Chickie is home.

  262. Debbi

    Super glad she is home with you!! Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Give her a hug from all of us!!

  263. Virginia L.

    Thank Goodness. I have been reading your blog for a while but I don’t comment until now. I am so glad she will be OK! I have miised you and your adventures while you were gone,so glad you are back!

  264. Amy-Go

    Oh Crazypants. Just lookit how much we all love you! Take all the time you need.

    Chickie and the whole family are in my prayers.

    And I’m totally gonna make you a pie. If I can figure out how to make it gluten free. :)

  265. Angie

    So very sorry for what Chickie, you and your family have had to endure over the past two weeks. Sending all the healing thoughts and prayers I have your way!

  266. brigitte

    Love Otto’s comment!


  267. alicia

    Oh Mir. Hugs and prayers to you all.

  268. joaaanna

    I’m so sorry. Sending good vibes your direction. If I were nearby, I’d bring a couple of covered dishes over to your house. A vegetarian one, of course, and something for the rest of you. And cookies too. Thinking of you all.

  269. Maria

    You and your family have been on my mind a lot these last few weeks. Continued blessings for your family.

  270. abbiejoy

    Thinking of you and your family. Take care. xoxo

  271. Mary

    I can’t even imagine how hard this has been for you. You, Chickadee and the rest of the family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  272. Another Dawn

    Gah! Kid in hospital is the WORST.

    As for us sticking around, you’re not getting rid of us that easily, lady.

    Tell the Chickster that a random old lady in Newfoundland, Canada is hoping she’ll feel better really soon. And that her Momma is really pretty.

  273. Sarah

    I’m a long-time reader, but I’ve been a lurker up until now. After your last post about taking time off, I had been waiting to hear an update that all was well, even though I didn’t even know what was wrong. So sorry to hear about Chickadee but so glad to hear she’s home. Stay strong. You will get through this.

  274. Melinda

    Sending positive vibes and magical thoughts your way.

  275. Tara

    Big hugs to you and your family.

  276. addy

    Hey Fairies, eye of newt, salt over the shoulder, wood knocking, “don’t step on a crack”, whatever it takes. Hoping and believing all will be well in its time. And mounds of love to you and yours. We are here!

  277. Josie

    It makes my mother’s heart hurt to think of your girl sick with a mystery illness. Hope all gets better as soon as possible.

  278. Carrie

    I am so glad you are back, but even more glad that Chickie is back home! While I won’t pretend to understand what you are going through specifically, I know the pain and fear and helplessness of watching your baby in the hospital and not being able to make everything better. And of not being able to speak, much less write, of it because doing so in the moment gives the hurt more intensity. Lots of thoughts and prayers for Chickadee, you and the whole family. May the road of healing be swift.

  279. EmmaC

    Big hugs, Mir. Just sending you some really big hugs.

  280. Aileen

    Long time lurker here…never really left a comment before. In response to Otto’s little aside up there, I just thought you should know that I really really love your blog and it doesn’t really matter how long of a break you take. If people can wait years for the next book in a series, I highly doubt you can lose audience in a matter of weeks. You are a very good writer Mir so people like me will keep coming back for more of your stories.

    My prayers go out to you and your family. You never know, this may still be your year.

  281. Heather

    It is so nice to hear from you again. My heart and my prayers go out to your family and your beautiful Chickie most of all.

  282. JennyA

    Oh, wow — I’m so glad she’s home. I had the teensiest inkling or feeling, and I was too superstitious to even comment before! Virtual hugs all around to your family. So, so glad Chickadee is home with you.

  283. Heather

    You’ve lived a mother’s nightmare. Hugs and prayers and we will always remain your readers regardless of the legnth of your breaks.

  284. Pam

    Many prayers and hugs come your way. Only a Mother knows the pain you are going through. God bless and keep you all safe and sound.

  285. Jenny

    Mir, I wanted to comment yesterday but I had just spilled milk on my keyboard. Good gravy, I hope Chickadee feels better soon and am very glad she’s home. Hope she’s back to school soon.

  286. Connie

    I believe in fairies and the power of love. Hugs and good thoughts.

  287. Kate in Michigan

    If Chickie breathes in and feels some magical gold sparkles come in and help heal her, tell her they’re from Kate in Michigan. When I meditate later, I’ll breathe some out for her.

  288. Tricia

    Lots of well wishes coming at you and Chickie from New Mexico. So glad you’re back, but so pissed at the world for you that your family is having to deal with this. I hope Chickie is back to health very very soon.

  289. Beth in IA

    So sorry for all you guys have been through. My prayers and good thoughts will continue.Take good care of each other and Mir, if there is anything more your Internet “family” can do, I hope you’ll let us know.

  290. Paul

    Wow, that is just SO scary. Things like this remind me how delicate life is and how it can be taken for granted until something goes wrong. I am totally wishing the best for you and your family.

  291. Sara

    How very scary! I’m glad she is home and hope things continue to get better and better!

  292. Grace

    I wish I could give you actual hugs, here’s a virtual one.

    Infrequent commenter. I was terribly worried for you and your family. What a terrifying experience. Continued prayers for you, Otto, Chickie and Monkey.

  293. Kailani

    So glad you’re back. So sorry for all you’re going through!
    Hold tight to each other and I hope that Chickie fully recovers soon.

  294. Heather

    I continue to pray for your family. I am thinking of all of you in this time of need. Big hugs being sent your way. God Speed to Chickadee!

  295. Sassy Apple

    Please tell Chickie to take advantage of her healing and ask for lots of books, upgraded technology, gift cards, etc. :)

    I just felt a little humor was needed. Mir, get some sleep.

  296. Holly

    I just can’t even imagine. Chickie and your family are in my prayers. You are a great mom and it’s so evident that your family is number 1 in your life!

  297. dad


    I am definitely not as pretty as your wife.

  298. momzen

    I’m glad you’re back. I’m sorry you had to leave. Will keep you and yours in my prayers.

  299. The Mommy Therapy

    Oh my…Mir, I am so sorry you have had to go through that. So sorry Chickadee had to go through that. So happy you have her home and your belief that she is going to be OK has been restored. Please keep us updated and please tell her plenty of strangers are thinking about her and wishing her well.

  300. Nancy

    Look at that – almost 300 people wishing prayers and good thoughts (and a liberal sprinkling of pixie dust). Many more coming from MA.

  301. Lori K

    So very sorry you’re having uncertain times. For me, uncertainty is one of the hardest things to deal with. Hoping things smooth out soon for you all, and special hugs for Chickadee!

  302. J from Ireland

    Oh Mir I do believe in fairies. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Best wishes.

  303. Stimey

    Oh, Mir, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I m so glad your girl is back with you. I can’t imagine how terrible the past two weeks must have been for you. I’m sending you my love.

  304. Sue

    Oh Mir! I’ve been off the internets too. I’m so sorry you and Chickie are dealing with this and I ‘m praying for you and your girl.

  305. ~zandra~

    I’m so sorry for your girl. I do hope she mends quickly. Sending as many positive thoughts as I can to all of you. No one blames you for being silent. I think we all employ “magical thinking” from time to time. Hugs to you and yours.

  306. Jackie

    I’m so so sorry to hear your baby girl has been so sick and your boy has been just as terrified as the rest of you. I will be praying for her and all of you. I wish hang in there wasn’t so silly to say. Wish I had the right words you need to hear right now. I’ll pray that they find out what is wrong and correct it ASAP!

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all,

  307. Fairly Odd Mother

    I’m so, so, so sorry for you, for Chickadee and for the rest of your sweet family. Hope she is on the mend now and that will be just a scary episode that is now over.

  308. Lori Ann

    Hi there – I spotted your blog a while back but am terribly behind in my reading. I just read your post about your daughter – sorry to hear she’s sick, and glad for you all that she’s home and on the mend. I truly hope for you all that it’s a one-shot deal and not something she’ll have to continue to deal with. Chronic is hard. I’m not a mom, so I can’t say I fully “Understand” what you’re going thru. I was with my parents for my dad’s open heart surgery, and it took my breath in the worst of ways.

    Even though I’m not a parents, you write of many universal things – family, worries, challenges – in a way that speaks to everyone. :) And yes, 2012 was gonna be “MY YEAR” – I’m in a wee mid-life crisis, changing careers, living wit my parents at 43 – and so far, all I’ve had is 6 weeks of excruciating sciatica, tons of doctor visits with no insurance, narcotics that scare the hell out of me, and an unpaid medical leave, so no income. YIKES. Not a very auspicious beginning, for sure….but I’ve had family taking excellent care of me and my babies (dogs) a friend who has driven me everywhere I needed to go to help my parents out, my dogs haven’t left my side, and slowly, I am mending. I have a new gratitude for the health I had before this, and it has touched me to no end how my parents have taken care of me. They always have – but I have been high maintenance and bitchy – and I’ve had to learn to LET them help, and ASK for help. It’s been humbling! Not the start I would have wanted to the year, but certainly one with lessons in it. I’m not that into religion, or “meant to be’s”, but I do believe that bad experiences can teach us a lot. You strike me as a strong, wise woman, and know you will take from this what you can, and come out the other side stronger for it.
    Very best to your little girl – tell her Huck and Shiloh, my pups, send her licks and tail wags for a speedy recovery! And take care of yourself, too – and go get a big dog for your little boy. I cannot say enough how much my two keep me going at the darkest times. :) Lori Ann

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