Nothing else matters, except it does

I’m having trouble tearing myself away from the earthquake/tsunami coverage, today. I just… can’t even imagine. Even looking at pictures, I just can’t imagine what must be happening there. I feel like I should DO SOMETHING, and if I can’t, well surely my life—my non-natural-disaster-rocked, comfortable life—should just go into suspended animation until the world rights itself again, somehow. (I feel stupid, just typing that.)

The news I was bursting to come and share yesterday afternoon feels inconsequential, except that it is still, for us, a very big deal: We found a therapist for Monkey, and not just A therapist but actually THE therapist we’d wanted from the start. She wasn’t taking new patients; after over a dozen rounds elsewhere I returned to her office to see if that had changed, and they said it had; actually, it hadn’t, but she called me back after I submitted paperwork and readers, I am not ashamed to tell you I BEGGED. It worked, which means I love her already. I think Monkey will, too.

Another hurdle cleared. I hold this bit of hope close to my heart today while praying for peace and safety for those facing much bigger matters.


  1. All Adither

    What happened in Japan is mind boggling. But I’m glad you have that piece of good news to hold onto. :)

  2. Liza


    I really needed something to be happy about today, since the Tsunami, and the Maryland House of Delegates not voting for same sex marriage, and my Governor signing away 50 years of labor rights which will probably cost me 12.5% of my already 4-figure salary….

    Thanks for providing good news!

  3. Tarrant

    Yay for finding someone!

  4. Lisa

    Congratulations! I know today is a day of heavy hearts, but we’ll take the good news where we can find it. I hope this therapist is just what Monkey needs.

  5. liz

    So happy about the therapist!!!

    My oldest friend in the world lives in Singapore, but he and his wife travel around Asia a lot. They met when they were both living in Japan. I emailed him first thing this morning when I heard about everything, and I haven’t heard back from him yet. Mild concern is rapidly turning to forcing-myself-not-to-flip-out terror.

  6. Chuck Mann

    Congrats Mir! Glad to hear the good news. More good news…a co-worker whose parents live in Tokyo found they are both safe. I know Tokyo wasn’t directly hit by this quake but he was understandably worried.

  7. Beth R

    Oh, that’s WONDERFUL news about the therapist!!!

    As for the tsunami, I did what I could this morning, which was to contact my friends on Maui and in Washington state. Now all I can do wait to hear what I can do to help out. It’s hard not to fixate (especially when you’re a bit of an empath – Mir, I’m looking at you), but the best thing we can do is keep on keeping on and helping when we have an actual opportunity.

    Now if only I could follow my own assvice…

  8. dad

    The way to save the world is one person at a time.

    Good work. It’s a big job.

  9. Debbi

    I am so happy for you and for Monkey!! :-)

  10. Jen


  11. ccr in MA

    Wonderful news on the therapist. Even small steps in the right direction get you there. Congrats!

  12. Little Bird

    Your dad is right. Concentrate on what you CAN do something about! I’m so happy you were able to get THE therapist!

  13. parodie

    Oh, what a wonderful relief for you, Monkey, and the family. I’m thrilled!

    The earthquake and tsunami is mind-boggling, really. It feels like we only finish thinking about one tragedy ad there’s already another.

  14. Heather

    Wow, your Dad said just the perfect thing and very nearly made me cry. *sniff* I am so glad you found a therapist for Monkey!! Also, GO YOU with the begging, because hey, whatever works!

  15. RuthWells

    You have a very wise dad.

    Wonderful news for you all. May you look back on this timeframe as the turning point. : )

  16. Varda (SquashedMom)

    Love your Dad. Yay for Monkey’s having a therapist (begging is sometimes the way to go).

    I know so well that feeling, that even one’s own large concerns seem so small in the light of huge global disasters. And yet, we need to go on living our lives and celebrating our victories large and small, while also keeping concern for others front and center and doing what we can, even though the need is half the planet away.

    When these things happen in such distant elsewheres and I feel so sad, concerned and yet so far away and powerless to do much more than empathize, I think that this is how the rest of the world felt about me and my city on 9/11/01. And knowing that everyone out there was worrying about us and sending what help they could, even if it was mostly just hope and prayers? Really did help, made me feel connected, cared about, better.

  17. Tenessa

    Dad has it right! AND IT’S SUCH GREAT NEWS!!!!

  18. Debra

    There is no shame in begging… I’m actually proud of you and happy for you all at the same time. I think you deserve a new pair of shoes :)

  19. Lara

    Congrats! Love what your Dad said. Sorry I haven’t commented in awhile – reeling from the feared diagnosis being confirmed. Loved your post on friends BTW and sorry to hear we aren’t BFFs yet ;)

  20. Leah

    You dad just made me cry. In a good way. Stupid empathy.

  21. Karen

    I love your dad. Can I borrow him sometimes?

  22. Brigitte

    I was in the middle of the ’89 earthquake in California (on my one visit there), and that was tiny compared to what Japan is suffering. I can’t even wrap my mind around it.

    But I’ll take your good news for now, I CAN wrap my mind around that! :-)

  23. Lynn

    The tragedy in Japan is painful to watch.

    Happy for you and your family in finding a therapist. As parents we need to do everything we can to fight for our children.
    In my case, last year my son was being bullied in school.

  24. Niki

    Hooray for tfe right therapist! One hoer hurdle down!

  25. Niki

    That should have been more not hoer. Stupid autocorrect.

  26. Laura

    I am so glad you are able to get Monkey to the therapist of your choice. Nobody thinks that is inconsequential, whatever else is going on in the world.

  27. Daisy

    Congratulations! A good therapist is worth his/her weight in gold – more, if she’s tiny.

  28. mamaspeak

    This is what I went through after Sept. 11. I know it was the US that was attacked that time, but I live on the West Coast & my family who live in NYC were actually able to let us know where everyone was & that they were all safe, in relatively short order. But it was the only thing on TV & I couldn’t look away. I was teetering on depression at the time & that event was the last straw. I was a complete mess for a long while. When the Tsunami hit the next year, on Dec. 26, I was banned from watching TV or listening to the radio. Or even reading much on the web. I was allowed to watch a regular news cast at night & that was it. For fear that my empathy would turn into much more.

    I live relatively near Santa Cruz. When we go to the beach that’s the area we go to (we have a house near Santa Cruz & stay there for 4-6 weeks in the summer.) One of my BFF’s parents live right NEXT to the harbor there, (like look out their front window at it close. So the tsunami here took on a whole new meaning. I assumed her parents had been evacuated, but her dad decided it was going to be fine & left her mom at home w/out a car, before the first surge hit. If the waves had hit in a way to affect land, her parents would have had major damage for sure. The emergency personal, actually, (IMO) kinda blew it here. People were all over the place to “watch the waves”. The second surge had hit before they even started blocking off roads. Traffic was a joke bc people were evacuating to get away from the ocean, while other idiots were driving to it, to see. Oh, not to mention the winners who drove to the summits of mountains & stopped to watch what would happen. These roads are freeways & it wasn’t clear enough to see anything from that far away. This one brought out the idiots in force. We got lucky this time. It was a reminder to be ready.
    I’ve tried to limit my exposure to the devastation in Japan. It’s scary & awful. All that I can do for now is pray & donate where they say they have a need. And update our earthquake supplies & family emergency plan this weekend.

    I guess my point is that, I get how you feel on this one. Try to limit your exposure to it. Maybe read an update article at the end of each day? Hug your kids & family and go over your family emergency plan for when/if your area has to deal with devastation such as this. Don’t let it pull you into it.

    PS–really glad to hear the news about Monkey. I really hope this works out the way you think it will.

  29. Kristen

    My dad works in disaster response – specifically for earthquakes. I’ve been talking with him a lot over the last few days. I am not sure I could do that work without becoming horribly depressed. (Although maybe being able to actually DO something to help makes it easier?) He thinks that the death toll will be upwards of 20,000 and that we aren’t even hearing about some of the true devastation because there is no one left in some of the villages to even report the deaths.

    He often sings to me the lyrics to the Kingston Trio “Rioting in Africa” – he claims that not much has changed since 1959:

    “They’re rioting in Africa,
    There’s strife in Iran.
    What nature doesn’t do to us
    Will be done by our fellow man.”

    Congrats on the therapist. That is great news.

  30. navhelowife

    Good news is always that. And if peace and joy and hope is strengthened somewhere in the world, surely that strengthens us all?
    So happy you found a therapist for Monkey!!

  31. The Mommy Therapy

    I love your Dad. Fantastic and true words.

    Congrats on finding THE therapist. A huge success.

  32. Beth

    I am so happy that you found a therapist for Monkey! I know that had been a stressfull situation for you.
    I know how you feel about every thing seeming to be less important compared to the earthquake. My husband is in the Air Force and we currently live in Northern Japan, we lost our power, heat, and phone lines for almost two days. When we came back on line it was shocking to see the true extent of the damage.
    Here is some information if you or any of your readers are interested in sending things to Japan. I hope you don’t mind me posting this here.

    HELP JAPAN…here’s how you can send supplies!

    by Tashina Mcknight on Sunday, March 13, 2011 at 5:20pm from the page of “Out The Gate” on facebook

    Here’s how you can help with the earthquake relief efforts. You can send items to these addresses through your local neighborhood Japanese Post Office:

    …They really need :

    1.Foods (instant foods, dietary supplements, baby foods)

    2.Warm blankets (That north part of Japan is still really cold now)


    4.Baby clothings, and DIAPERS!!!!

    Attn: Earthquake relief supplies

    Miyagi Prefectural Office

    3-8-1, Honcho

    Aoba-ku, Sendai city, Miyagi

    980-8570, JAPAN

    Attn: Earthquake relief supplies

    Iwate Prefectural Office

    10-1 Uchimaru Morioka city, Iwate


    Attn:Earthquake relief supplies

    Aomori Prefectural Office

    1-1-1 Nagashima, Aomori city,

    Aomori, 030-8570, JAPAN

    Attn: Earthquake relief supplies

    Fukushima Prefectural Office

    2-16 Sugitsuma-cho, Fukushima City

    960-8670, JAPAN

  33. Katie in MA

    Do NOT feel stupid. I still have that feeling when I read about 9/11 and that happened almost ten years ago.

    The world will right itself all in good time, just like Monkey’s world – one little victory at a time. Hooray for awesome therapists!

  34. Cele

    Having known from what Psam and Burp have gone through – the right therapist makes all the difference in the world. Congrats.

    My prayers to Japan.

  35. Nancy

    I am thrilled that Monkey has THE therapist. I truly hope that she is able to provide him with the best support.

    The people of Japan are in my heart.

  36. nil zed

    glad about the therapist. I missed this post!

Things I Might Once Have Said


Quick Retail Therapy

Pin It on Pinterest