It’s a dog’s life

By Mir
July 30, 2010

90% of the time that I’m here in the house, the dog is in the same room with me. She’s my furry little shadow, and although I periodically complain about it (“Um, hello? Could you not bodyslam the bathroom door while I’m in here peeing, DOG?”), I have to say that it is quite ego-boosting to be so loved, even if it’s by a neurotic creature with a brain the size of an egg.

Now that Otto and I no longer share an office, though, during the summer—when he’s home more, and often working in his office upstairs—she sometimes forgoes sleeping on the floor of my office to trot upstairs and sleep on the floor of HIS office. Which is fine.

Except that sometimes I get a little jealous, you know, because there simply is no pleasing me.

Related: Know what’s SUPER FUN? Trying to get a dog to play with you when she really just wants to take a nap.

Yesterday I took a break and wandered upstairs to Otto’s office, whereupon I found the dog laying on the floor. She was sleeping quite peacefully, and barely raised her head to acknowledge my entrance before dropping it back down and trying to resume her nap.

Naturally, I took that as a challenge. I lay down on the floor near her and commanded her to come love me.

She wagged her tail but didn’t move.

So I said, “Licorice! COME! COME SEE MOMMY!” in that high-pitched and annoying faux-excited voice that dogs are programmed to perceive as “I HAVE A DEAD SQUIRREL IN MY POCKET JUST FOR YOU!”

That got her up and coming my way with a lick, but she tried to wander off when she discovered that I was totally lying about the squirrel.

And because I’m a big believer in honoring personal space, I grabbed her and began smooching her while singing, “You’re trapped! I got you! There’s no escape now!”

While she endured these ministrations, I then exhorted her to KISS ME BACK, because I am a demanding bitch that way.

When that doesn’t work, I resort to softly saying, “Please?” That usually makes her feel sorry for me.

Of course, no sooner does she start licking me then I remember that she is QUEEN OF ALL DEATH BREATH and commence trying to ricochet my face away from her noxious tongue of stankitude.

But I think that hurts her feelings, so then I have to kiss her some more.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Eventually she tires of this game.

Then she makes a beeline for Otto. He assures her that Mommy is just crazy and it’s okay.

Then she usually slobbers all over his camera before leaping into his lap and coating his face. This usually makes him shout something nurturing like “OH, ICK!” before dropping her on the floor.

She sneezed a couple of times and then lay down on the floor and tried to go back to sleep. (I only poked her a little.)

What a lucky dog!


  1. Leandra

    I know this is not the point of this post, but LOOK HOW LONG YOUR HAIR IS! Oh my gosh! I obviously haven’t seen you in way too long. It looks fantastic!

    BTW, I’m Toby’s new favorite in the house. I don’t know what I did to deserve his revived affections, but I love it. Unadulterated adoration is pretty heady stuff.

  2. Mocha

    “You’re trapped! Now love me!” is how I got my current boyfriend. Totally works for dogs and humans.

    The both of you are looking utterly adorable on the floor.

  3. Beth R

    Um, isn’t this just part of the requirements of dog parenthood? They like to wake you up at inappropriate times, so it’s just payback :)

    And how CUUUUUTE is she? Both shes :)

  4. Melinda

    One of my favorite things is when my beagle dog is being all sleepy on the floor and then she sees me and the only movement she makes is to thump her tail. So glad you have your Licorice and she has her happy family.

  5. Kai

    Awwww (I secretly do this too when my dog is sleeping!). Licorice is TOO CUTE!

  6. Tracy

    That’s my girl. I just love that dog. Oh, just alittle sumin’, sumin’…my Cooper had the most horrible doggie breathe..the kind that KNOCKS you over. We had his teeth cleaned and no more stinky..AT ALL. Check with your vet. I promise you’ll be amazed.

  7. Heather

    You’re completely adorable. I bet having you being all silly on his office floor made Otto all happy and glad he married you. (I mean, sure, he might’ve been gladder if you were nekkid, but you’re cute with your clothes on too. GAH I sound creepy. Please to understand intent. kthxbai.)

  8. Scottsdale Girl


  9. Stacey

    Those pictures are great! You’ve inspired me to get busy capturing pictures of my Pooka

  10. Katie in MA

    You look so skinny! And happy! And covered with doggy kisses! Fridays just don’t get any better than that. :)

    Hope your weekend is just as wonderful!

  11. Rasselas

    Mir, you’re not allowed to bitch about your hair anymore. It looks particularly amazing. Seriously, it’s what I first noticed in the photos.

  12. elz

    Pretty Mir, you have a way with words, “noxious tongue of stankitude.” The best phrase I’ve read all week.

  13. Karen

    Yeah…. coveting the dog… still. And maybe Otto to. ( I can say that because my husband doesn’t blog read :-)

    Hope the Chick is feeling better, and that allergy meds are working.

  14. Karen

    that would be “too”. *sigh*

  15. jodie

    I totally had the hair though too!

  16. the celt (jessica)

    Since everyone is going through thoughts, here were mine:

    1. I wonder where those shelves are from. I like the corner one. Does the bottom of it look like my Ikea corner shelves in a different color? I think those are the Billy shelves…

    2. Wow, Mir’s hair looks wonderful! I just cut mine short (donated to Locks of Love), but if mine looked like hers, I’d definitely grow it back out. (Unfortunately, I have stick-straight hair that only has volume when fairly short.)

    3. Whoa, look at how toned her arms are! I wish my arms looked like that! (in the “Please” pic especially)

    4. What the heck? Does Mir need an exorcism? Her head is all over the place and blurry. I didn’t think you could move that fast unless you were possessed. Oh wait, no… I’d totally move that fast if a dog tried to lick me and had stanktastic breath. (Plus, I’m severely allergic to dog spit and get mega-hives from it.)

    5. I miss having a pet.

    And there you have it. You know, since we’re talking about our thoughts on these pictures. ;~)

  17. ania

    our dog is the king of all death breath… but we force him to cuddle with us anyways. he’s very aloof so hugs aren’t really his thing unless we i walked into the house after being gone for a whole day…. dogs. love ’em.

  18. Cele

    I was thinking remember when she said he was stinky and flea bitten. I’m thinking a little love and a good bath does wonders.

    You’re hair does look darn good though.

  19. Brigitte

    The pics make it look like your and Licorice’s hair match, awwww!

    And are you sure Otto actually WORKS in that office? It looks far too clean and organized!

  20. Shirley @ gfe

    Too cute and sooo true! Thank goodness our dogs loves us unconditionally. ;-) We are currently dogless, but I’ve been feeling the itch of late. This post didn’t help, Mir! LOL


  21. Abby

    I, too, was mostly staggered by how wonderfully clean that office looks! I want to go to there.

Things I Might Once Have Said


Quick Retail Therapy

Pin It on Pinterest