I am a slow learner (to my detriment). And while some people live by the credo that less is more, my personal internal monologue runs in the “if some is good, more would be MORE AWESOMER” direction.
Even though it’s not true. Even though the OPPOSITE is usually true.
Like… take food, for example. A normal person enjoys, say, buffalo chicken wings, and eats some and says, “Yum, that was delicious.” Me, I’m like a puppy. If I like a food, I will eat until it’s GONE regardless of whether I’m still hungry or any sort of other common sense. So I am not allowed to partake of things like buffalo wings (which, in my old age, will indeed make me sick if I overindulge) unless the available food matches a reasonable portion size. And that’s not even getting into the Murphy’s Law corollary that applies to family food.
What, you don’t know what I mean? C’mon, anyone with kids knows this great truth of cooking:
The more time you spend preparing a dish, the less likely that anyone in the house will eat it.
[Special Casa Mir addendum: Any special vegetarian dish I make specifically for my daughter will cause her to turn her nose up. Every. Freaking. Time.]
This is on my mind today because I am currently smitten with a new food blog written by my pals Chris and Karen—have you been to visit them yet? It’s called The PÃªche and the things they cook make me want to be a fatter person. What? I said— really? Whoops! I meant they make me want to be a BETTER person. Of course. Ahem. ANYWAY, tonight I’m making their falafel burgers which is terribly exciting because I haven’t had falafel since I gave up wheat, and for some reason I’d always assumed it was a complicated thing to make. So not only am I going to get to have a food I miss, but it’s vegetarian and made from Chickadee’s favorite food in the world (Chickadee is currently 70% chickpeas, by my last estimate), so SHE should eat it, and it’s fried, so Monkey should eat it, and it has garlic and onions, so Otto should eat it.
Instant hit! Right?
Well, maybe not. For one thing, I’m putting some time into it, so already I know that someone’s going to complain bitterly. Obviously. For another thing, the recipe calls for 1.5 cups of chickpeas and at my grocery store, they come in 2-cup bags, so I figured NO PROBLEM, I totally love falafel, I’ll just increase the recipe and do the whole bag. Great idea!
And of course, I was feeling all fancy and stuff. Because I plucked the mint and basil from my own garden, and I soaked my own chickpeas (not hard, I know, but it makes me feel superior to cook without cans!), and LOOK AT ME, MAKING FALAFEL FROM SCRATCH!
It turns out that my food processor can hold 2 cups of chickpeas and the other ingredients needed, but only just barely. Which means that I had to run it for quite a while to get the stuff I added on the top to be sucked down to the blade at the bottom.
Which means that my fridge is currently holding a giant container of falafel paste. I mean, it SMELLS awesome, and I tasted a little and it TASTES fine, but it is not falafel. It is… falafel for people with no teeth, maybe. I could scoop the mixture into a pastry bag and pipe it into the oil later and make falafel funnel cakes!
All because I thought more would be awesome.
[Edited to add: No no no no, I did not make hummus, sadly. I made… something else. But without oil (and with all the other extra stuff, like a sizable amount of onion) it is most definitely not hummus. I HAVE CREATED A NEW FOOD. Or at least a new food-like substance.]
I still would argue that the laws of physics prevent less from being more, but perhaps more is more messy in a case like this, making less more… tidy? Doesn’t quite have the same ring.
I’ll have to let you know how the falafel turns out. If no one eats it I guess I can use the uncooked paste as caulk, or something.