Spray with Lysol before reading

By Mir
March 1, 2010

I am sick. Lord, I am SO SO SICK, the kind of sick that has me looking back at last weekend when I got back from traveling and thought I was sick and going “THAT WAS NOTHING.” I can’t believe I even complained about the little sore throat and general malaise I was experiencing, then, because this weekend the germs staged a sequel, something that ends in “THIS TIME, IT’S PERSONAL” or “SNOTSTORM OF THE DAMNED” or somesuch. I don’t know.

Otto, of course, was away this weekend (“of course” because when do I ever get sick when there’s actually either nothing to do or someone around to help? NEVER, that’s when), and the kids had something Saturday morning, so I got them up and out and we did our thing and then we came home around lunchtime and I said, “You guys just play a little, I’m going to lie down for a few minutes” and then I passed out for three hours.

Sunday I’m not sure I ever really got out of bed, and the children will probably tell you this was the greatest weekend of their lives, on account of they got to play 5,378 hours of Wii. Awesome.

Today I got up a little later than usual but managed to get the kids up and fed and packed up with lunches and out the door. I felt very pleased with myself, minus the part where I yelled at Chickadee because she didn’t take care of the dog and I had to take her out in the cold so that she (Chickadee, not Licorice) wouldn’t miss the bus.

I can do it all! I’m sick but I ENDURE! I totally planned to do a little Rocky victory lap around the house, but then I started coughing and settled for sitting at my desk wheezing, instead.

I even remembered that today is the beginning of a new month, and as such, it meant it was time for Licorice’s monthly meds. She takes one for heartworms and one for fleas. I dunked them in peanut butter and affixed them to the roof of my darling puppy’s mouth, and felt very pleased with myself for being on top of everything despite the fact that I’m, you know, DYING over here.

Now, last month when I gave Licorice her meds, she ended up throwing up that morning. And she puked and was fine, but it made me realize that I think maybe the month before THAT she’d done the same thing. Huh. So last month when she yakked I called the vet, and they said to make sure I give the pills with a meal, and to watch her the next month, and some dogs can’t tolerate that particular flea med, and just let them know what happens next time. Okay.

So today I was keeping an eye on her lest she puke. Because the only thing more fun that being deathly ill yourself is also waiting for a creature who cannot tell you they’re about to hurl to start horking up partially-digested kibble.

For about half an hour she was fine. But then she started doing a lot of that drooling-and-licking thing that seems to signify nausea, so I dutifully took her back outside and she sniffed around a while before stopping and vomiting up an impressive mound of yuck.

“Okay, Licorice. Good girl. That’s okay,” I called, as she turned to look at me with mournful eyes. “That’s a good girl. All done. Okay, let’s go inside!” She looked at me, and then flopped over onto the ground. And wouldn’t move when I called her.

This is where it’s particularly useful to have a dog who is a mere thirteen pounds: I scooped her up and brought her inside, but when I put her down she continued just laying there, and I’m not going to lie, I started freaking out a little. I’ve seen this dog shy, and scared, and tired, and sad… but I’ve never seen her positively LISTLESS. I sat with her and stroked her head and she leaned against me and closed her eyes.

About ten minutes later she began to moan and then puked again. And ten minutes after that, yet again. Which was when I called the vet to say MAH BAYBEE, YOU POISONED HER WITH FLEA MEDICINE, HALP.

The good news is that the vet said to bring her right in. The bad news is that I AM DYING and so am unshowered and generally disgusting. But I brushed my teeth and found a ponytail holder and some clothes and set off for the vet, where it was determined that my dog has… a stomachache. Ah, the miracles of modern medicine.

She got some IV fluids and an anti-nausea drug along with her once-over, and even the vet commented that she “just isn’t herself” on account of Licorice generally hates the vet with the heat of a thousand suns, and today mustered only a mild indifference. We’ll try a different flea medication and probably she’ll be fine. But the vet did mention that there’s some sort of weird intestinal torsion that can result from vomiting, so I should bring her right back in if she gets worse. At least, I think that’s what she said. She said “intestinal torsion” and honestly, my vision started to tunnel. “Chances are good she’ll go home and sleep for a few hours and then be perfectly fine!”

So I gave them a pile of money and we came back home and now Licorice is sleeping on the bed next to me and I’m sure I would feel like a terrible mother if I could stop wiping my nose long enough to really devote the energy to it.

The best part is that before Licorice got sick this morning, Otto tried to convince me I should call MY doctor, and I said I really didn’t want to have to get dressed and leave the house. I’m sure it says something that I was willing to do it for the dog and not myself, but that something may have more to do with my (in)tolerance for vomit than my priorities in general. I think.

I don’t know. I am going to go take a nap.


  1. Kemi

    Feel better, Mir!

    Feel better, Licorice!

  2. Frank

    If, like me, you (were)are the type that doesnt go to the doctor, there is a truth that exists in the universe. It goes something like this:
    If someone close to you, that knows you (and your dislike for doctor visits), tells you it is time to go to the doctor… then it is TIME to go to the doctor. If you choose to wait until YOU feel bad enough to go to the doctor, it is too late to hope for lessening/ reducing you sick time.
    Took me YEARS to accept this truth, and even longer to obey it. Trust me… it helps.
    If you still feel $hitty after your nap, its time to go…
    Now, c’mon… Pinky Swear you’ll go….

  3. radioactive tori

    Go to the doctor! I am exactly the same way, willing to do anything for my kids and my dog but not for myself but we both need to remember to take care of ourselves too. I’m with Otto on this. Hope you both feel better soon.

  4. JennyM

    Oh, yuck, I hope you (all) feel better. I made the mistake once of googling “dog vomiting” or something like that when we were having a barfy episode and learned about all kinds of WOE! and also DOOOOOOOM! associated with vomiting dogs and decided: never again.

    Also: your plight reminds me of a nasty cold a couple of years ago when my husband was out of town, before our back yard was fenced, when I took the dog out to do his business and actually lay down in the grass, right there in the front yard, while he did his thing at the other end of the leash because I didn’t have the strength to stand up long enough to wait for him. I realize how melodramatic that sounds, but until you’ve experienced SNOTSTORM OF THE DAMNED, I don’t want to hear any hateration.

    I wish there was a way to send you a gluten-free chicken noodle soup IV through the internet!

  5. Aimee

    Oh no! Feel better soon, both of you!

  6. RuthWells

    Substitute me as the sick human and our 20-year-old parrot as the sick pet, and you’ve just described last week in my house to a T. Except the parrot stayed at the vet for sub-cu fluids and “observation” for four nights, so the piles of money we paid had to be delivered in a dump truck.


  7. Megan

    Heh. I actually sent another member of my family to the doctor (but, you know, someone with the same symptoms) which TOTALLY counted as going myself. Really. And now I’ll tell everyone I know with a serious face that the doctor said I had bronchitis. Which is true, given only one degree of separation!

    So, does it count as taking meds if the family member is taking them? I’m pretty sure it does…

  8. Kim

    Yuck. You might want to try the flea drops. Our dog had horrible seizures until we changed from the pill to drops.

  9. Lisa

    I’m on the 3rd week of this sickness and 2nd antibiotic. Hope you get to feeling better soon!

    Glad to know about the flea meds, too. I will have to watch for that as we are just starting the pills.

  10. Half Assed Kitchen

    How did you not vomit yourself when you saw that?

    Hope you both feel better soon.

  11. meghann

    In the spirit of being a good friend, since you are sick, I’ll refrain from any “I told you so’s” about the pill being bad news. See how good of a friend I am?!?

    (Feel better, yo. If you need anything, hit me up.)

  12. MomCat

    If asked, I’d take my neighbor’s cousin’s dog to the doctor before taking myself to the doctor. Either I’m going for a Master’s in Martyrdom or I really hate the doctor’s office.

  13. Karen

    If asked, I’de take my father’s neighbor’s late -third husband’s estranged daughter’s mean junkyard dog to the vet for a hangnail before I’de take myself, ya know…

    Feel better, M & L.

  14. elz

    Oh No. What a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad weekend (except of course, for the kids!). At least Licorice knows that you will take good care of her. I hope her tummy settles down. And, I hope you feel well enough to at least treat yourself better than the dog today.

  15. Chuck

    Sending positive thoughts to Team Mir and hope that you and the dog are both at 100% ASAP.

  16. Tracy

    Aww..I’m so sorry. Oh, we use Advantage drops for fleas. Never had a problem. Just a thought. I hope ya’ll get to feeling better soon.

  17. My Kids Mom

    Yes, I won the prize of “Least Sick” at my house this weekend. I only had a cold, bronchitis and a sinus infection. My husband won the lottery because he has a cold and shingles. The kids merely have colds, but I assume we each have a different one because we’ve been kind enough to swap them around and share all month. February was not good to our family.

  18. Emma

    Gosh that doesn’t sound like any fun. Get your self to the Doctor and hopefully feel better soon!!!

  19. Lulu

    So now I either have a serious eye condition just from reading this, or my computer monitor is borked from the Lysol spray.


    Jinx on all those cooties! And I hope everyone gets to feeling better soon!

  20. Heather

    Get yourself to the doctor, Missy :P (/bossiness)
    Okay, now that that’s done, get well soon!!

  21. Keryn

    Is the month of February cursed, or is it just that EVERYONE in the entire country sick as dogs (your poor bahbee)?? We’ve spent three of the last four weeks swapping sickness at our house, too.

    Good luck, feel better, and maybe the doctor should be in your future. The people doctor, I mean.

  22. Flea

    Oh you poor babies. You know, flea medicine in winter isn’t so essential anyway. I hope you rested and feel better.

  23. Nelson's Mama

    Hope you both feel better soon!

  24. kate c.w.

    Unfortunately (for my wallet), flea and heartworm meds _are_ essential during the winter in southern states. The killer bugs just don’t die off, and our weather is weird enough that one warm week with some standing water will have mosquitos biting in February or so. At least that’s how it is in AR!

  25. Nicki

    Awww. You and Licorice…sick! Feel better, Mir.

  26. Brigitte

    The first time I gave my cat flea medication, he was sick AND half his tail went bald. That’s what I got for buying the stuff at the store, awful kitty-mommy. Now I get the pricey Frontline stuff for him (he survived and his fur grew back).

    Thinking healthy thoughts at you!

  27. Katie in MA

    Poor Licorice. When my Cooper was a puppy, we did the whole intestinal torsion thing. Lemme tell ya – it’s just as much fun as it sounds.

    As for you, I say go get meds. I tried to stave off the head/chest/going to die cold for two and a half weeks and all I got was worse. I finally went to doctor yesterday and I can feel a difference after just a day of meds. Trust me – you’ll thank me when you don’t feel even WORSE by the end of the week (yes, there’s a hidden third round of this thing that’s going around).

  28. Kelly

    Feel better both of you!

  29. margie

    under no circumstances are you to have another child. trust me, loving the puppy will become a full time mothering job. you cannot ever yell at licorice the way you do poor chickadee. my kids often tell me i am way nicer to the dog. hello, the dog is way nicer!!! feel better.

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