FYI, when a big piece of your tree falls over for no reason, it’s a pretty sure bet that most of the rest of the tree will fall over if you get a really heavy snowfall. And of course THAT section of tree will fall RIGHT ACROSS THE DRIVEWAY.
FYI, your husband will not find it humorous when you keep stomping around the house, occasionally gesturing to the tree which has formed a barricade to your escape, declaring, “APOCALYPSE. NOW!”
FYI, when the power goes out for two hours in the afternoon and then comes back on, you would be very foolish to assume that everything is fine now.
FYI, cooking dinner while the power is back is a pretty good idea, though. Just cook something QUICK.
FYI, the power will go out the second time just as it’s starting to get dark. And you will realize that all of the flashlights are dead. And you have no battery-powered radio. And really, um, perhaps someone should’ve done some emergency preparedness or something.
FYI, after reading by candlelight and listening to all of your trees fall over for a while, you’ll decide to just give up and go to bed. Surely the power will be back on in the morning.
FYI, a child will not wake up when you rattle around in its room pulling out extra blankets, but will sit up with an exclamation and a start and a trail of drool when you put said blankets on its bed.
FYI, you will wake up fifteen times in the night, turn to the bedside clock—which is still dead—and wonder WHY THE HELL THE POWER IS STILL OUT.
FYI, you will be delighted to discover the house is only down to 55 degrees in the morning, and you’ll talk about how that’s “not bad at all!” as your husband goes outside with a chainsaw to hack up the fallen tree blocking the driveway. Fifteen minutes later you will be diving back under the blankets, teeth chattering.
FYI, driving around town is more entertaining when you can all count up the abandoned rear-wheel drive cars.
FYI, it’s significantly less entertaining to drive around town when half the restaurants are closed and the other half are mobbed by people like you, people whining, “Coffee. COFFEE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHERE IS THE COFFEE?!?”
FYI, you will wonder how you survived such atrocities before the iPhone. Because really, you spent 18 hours with no heat or electricity, but BY GOD you were able to check your email.
FYI, when you finally find a restaurant where you can 1) get coffee, 2) feed the children, 3) borrow some internet, and 4) hang out for a while without your nose freezing, you will do so. You will eat verrrrryyyyyy slooooowwwwwwlllllllly. You’ll get bagels, and hang out, and then a little while later, you’ll go order lunch. You’ll call the home phone, and the machine won’t pick up (electricity still out!) and you’ll consider staying for dinner, too.
(FYI, I may have had a leetle bit too much coffee.)