Glued with love and Stitch Witchery

By Mir
October 27, 2008
Category Uncategorized

With less than a week to go, I think it’s safe to say that Yes, Virginia, I have once again bitten off more than I can chew when it comes to this whole Halloween costume thing. I’m too cheap to buy fancy costumes, you see, so I’m always all “Sure, I can make that!”

Except that I can’t. Or I can, but it ends up involving something like… oh, I don’t know… sewing fifty miniature chicks onto my son’s clothing. Or—not that I’m naming anything specific, like maybe THIS WEEKEND—spending half a day modifying a skirt for my daughter using scissors, lace, stitch witchery, and colorful language.

And then going out to Target for fairy wings and devil wings, and realizing I have absolutely no clue as to how to merge the two without threatening the structural integrity of the item to be worn. And let’s not even mention the fact that the devil wings? Are from a DOG COSTUME.

Yep. You totally wish I was YOUR mom.

Anyway, while I continue to struggle and drink heavily work on a few projects here, as well as maybe do some of that “work” thing that I am apparently contracted to do in return for those many buckets of money I like so much, my Monday is a little more packed than usual. Go figure.

But there’s good news! I recently chatted with the lovely Laurie about life, the universe, and blogging while divorced. You can listen to our interview over at DivorcingDaze, but only if you promise not to tell me how dumb my voice sounds. (Everyone hates the way their voice sounds when they hear it played back, right?)

Laurie had to do a little bit of editing to our chat, and I’m disappointed that she cut out the part where I admit to being Trig Palin’s biological mother, but I hope you’ll enjoy it, anyway. (It was really juicy, too. I mean, I have no uterus! Damn kid grew in my pancreas, y’all!)

Tomorrow I plan to unglue my fingers and get back on track. Probably.


  1. momzen

    love your creative costumes! (even if they require drinking to complete).

    Mostly leaving a reply because, hey, I’m first!!! Wow. (Like, that NEVER happens!) – being on the other side of the world has a few perks, I guess…

  2. laurie

    1. Mir’s voice is as melliflous as her words on screen read.
    2. Sorry about the TP edit, I thought it better we not endorse any of the candidates.
    3. Thank you again for playing with us.

  3. Trish

    I hate the sound of my voice when it’s played back. You’re not alone.

    Also, I’m very glad that I had enough Disney points on my Visa card for a Cinderella costume, because there is no way I can sew anything remotely Princess-like.

  4. Kemi

    *snort* Endorse any candidate…

    Good luck with the costumes. I still don’t know what I’m going to do for my two-year-old. Maybe he can go as a three-year-old? :)

  5. loonytick

    Is she an angel on one side, devil on the other? Maybe you could return the doggy devil wings and spray paint one side of the angel wings red. A trash bag over the angel side, cinched tightly, should keep that wing nice and white.

  6. Half Assed Kitchen

    I hear ya on the Halloween. I can’t wait until it’s over. It’s more work than Christmas around here!

  7. Megan

    Dang it! Halloween candy. I knew I was forgetting something… once the Children grew old enough to make their own costumes (which took a while as I LIKE making costumes and finally had to be firmly but kindly told to GO AWAY) Halloween sort of grew less urgent somehow. Of course, part of the problem could be the fact that there have been Christmas decorations crowding out the skellingtons for the past MONTH…

  8. natasha

    Yeah, I totally just let my kid choose his costume from a catalog. I know my craft limitations and they’re very, well, limited.

    Also, yes, I TOTALLY wish you were my mother!

  9. Randi

    Mir, haven’t you learned the cardinal rule of Halloween Costume making yet? Have a good friend who is crafty as hell and who can come and sew your son’s tunic and hat for his Link costume for you.

    Trust me – it saves on the alcohol budget.

  10. ImpostorMom

    excellent interview

    ugh, one day my son is going to actually have opinions about what he wants to be and then I too will be scrambling around the try and make a costume. This year I’ll just be happy if he’ll actually wear the one I bought him.

  11. dad

    Your voice is delightful. I encourage your readers to listen to the interview. I think you came off as more poigniant than snarky but then, I’m the sentimental type and well conditioned to sarcasm.

    How do you suppose that happened?

    And oh yeh, Happy Halloween.

  12. StephLove

    My son is going as seaweed. He has a fish on his head so most people who saw the costume at our town’s Halloween parade this weekend thought he was a fish with seaweed, but he insists he’s seaweed with a fish. I should have a picture up on my blog in a few days, as soon as I manage to write something to go with it.

    Mir, you have a lovely voice. I, on the other hand, sound like a twelve-year-old boy on tape.

  13. Tammy

    Our costumes are pretty basic this year. The youngest (4) is Alvin from The Chipmunks. 1 large red hoodie + yellow felt in the shape of the letter A sewn to hoodie = Alvin cosume.

    The middle child (9) is Indiana Jones. 1 leather jacket ($4 at the thrift store) + Indy hat borrowed from Grandpa + khakis + faux leather man-purse found at the bottom of Dad’s closet + whip made from a piece of rope wrapped with brown electrical tape = Indiana Jones.

    My kids think I’m amazing…don’t tell them that it’s just a cover for being cheap when it comes to costumes!!

  14. Ray

    Oh drat! Halloween! Can’t wait to see the angel/devil costume. Oddly enough, my children were just discussing the whole angel/devil on your shoulders thing just yesterday.

    The really bad thing is that I can sew, I have costume patterns, I have fabric, and I have absolutely NO desire to do any of it. I am setting my sights on Worst Mama EVAH Award.

    Okay, the truth is, I’ve spent the last two weeks very, very sick.

    So they both get sheets draped over their heads to go as ghosts. If they’re lucky, I will cut out eye holes.

  15. Sara

    I LOVE halloween and getting super cool costumes but lack the time/effort/energy/patience to do it SO what I did this year was let someone else take the kids. Jeremiah loves to dress up but he’s ADHD so going with him to the store where he has to decide on something can take hours…literally! Cody on the other hand needs you to walk him through it otherwise he’ll just grab the first thing he sees and say okay, lets go.

    So my friend offered to take Jeremiah shopping for his halloween costume and then out to dinner. I gave her $20 because that’s what I could afford and she said, “no problem!” They were both so excited for their “date” and had a really great time!! He took like 3 hours at the halloween store I later found out but since it was just Corrie and him it was okay, if it had been me with both boys and a baby I would have definitely lost all patience after the first hour I think!

    My mother in law (per Cody’s request) took him shopping and she just paid for Cody’s costume. From his point of view he got one on one time with his grandma, what could be cooler than that?!?

    Then I got the babies costume at Goodwill for $5, oh yeah!

    So end result I spent $25 of my own money and the kids ended up with $80 worth of costumes had I gone to a store and bought them all new. I also didn’t have any stress related to them getting their costumes, they have the costumes, everyone is happy!!

  16. Carla Hinkle

    Umm, I’m sure you’ve thought about this, but if you could spend the time working, instead of stich-wichery-ing? Then maybe it would be a better deal just to buy the costumes with the money you’d earn?

    But since I do the same thing almost every year, I have no room to talk …

  17. Jennifer Suarez

    Yup that’s the reason I do spend money on the overpriced fancy costumes. If I tried making them myself I’d probably spend more money overall and gain a lot more grey hair.

  18. Mike Golch

    My Mom always encouraged us to make our own costumes for holloween.

  19. Katie in MA

    Hee hee hee! I had forgotten about Monkey’s Chick Magnet costume! I am totally stealing Chickie’s bad babysitter costume when the girls are older. Of course, knowing my girls, Gracie will try to convince Bee to be the baby so she can sit on her.

    Everyone must be working on “final touches” this weekend (which I put in quotes because I don’t think you can call creating the entire costume just the “final touches.” Right?). I learned something very important this weekend. Did you know that if you trim one of those 6′ feather craft boas to use as a kitty cat tail, that it unravels and the feathers start flying EVERYWHERE and pretty soon you have a black dust storm rampaging through your house? Me neither. Whoops.

  20. Shalet

    All costumes should have choice language sewn in. How else are the kids going to feel the love? ;o)

  21. Sabrina

    My kids are not allowed to know that sewing exists! I’m excellent at the no-sew fleece throws, however. You know, just in case one of my kids wants to go trick or treating as a no-sew fleece blanket.

  22. cindy

    Hi Mir,

    I’ve been reading you every day for about 2 years, maybe more. Your interview with divorcingdaze was really wonderful. It further cemented you as a beautiful woman, daughter, wife, mother. I feel fortunate to have you on my path.

  23. MomCat

    Can’t wait to see the costuming pics. (You can totally Photoshop them!)

  24. BethRD

    My Halloween costume construction secret is a hot glue gun. At this point though my son has entered his superhero phase and wants to be Captain America, and if purchased used off eBay that costume is cheap enough to make it a no-brainer.

  25. sheila

    ha, ha ha ha ha, ha.
    My kid is going as a TOASTER this year! materials? A BOX and scissors! lol.

  26. Flea

    Yes! I wish you were my mom! That would make me … *counts on fingers and toes* … eight years old! Right? Better yet, could you be my kids’ mom? And make them costumes?

  27. Jill

    I love your voice. I’m listening to you right now.

  28. Amy-Go

    I bought Jack’s costume on Ebay to save some cash and IT NEVER CAME. He must have it first thing Friday morning in order to participate in the school parade. Who me, twitchy?

  29. Brigitte

    Heh. MY voice makes telemarketers ask me if my mommy is home.

  30. Summer

    Mir, weren’t you a theater major in college? I was, and that’s where I learned everything I know about ironing, stain removal, and whacking together costumes. My school required a certain number of hours of “practicum” every semester, and they couldn’t all be filled with credit for acting, which forced actors like me to work backstage. Since I am terrified of power tools and the milk-based scene paint made me sneeze, I spent a lot of time in the costume shop.

    Armed with that experience, I present my entry in this year’s “Mama’s So Cheap” Costume Contest. My son wants to be a gray fruit bat. The base of his costume is a gray sweatsuit (already owned the pants, bought a $9 zip-up hoodie) with wings made from a dollar store umbrella. The ears were crafted from a FedEx envelope, a gray t-shirt rag, and copious amounts of RoseArt School Glue. Since my rules state that the price of any part of the costume that can be re-used as normal clothing can be deducted from the total (and I plan to remove the wings and ears from the sweatshirt), my total outlay for this year’s costume is $1. Yay! So much cheaper than last year’s Harry Potter Quiddich uniform!

  31. Mom on the Run

    Grrrr…to crazy, expensive store bought costumes. We are trapped as the kids have always had costumes from stores. I have lucked out some years when my kids have worn the same costume twice. Who could forget one of my daughters wearing the Winnie the Pooh costume, which was worn on four separate Halloweens by three kids, squatting on a chair to “poo” in her diaper. I refer to this as “do you remember when Pooh was poo-ing?” Lovely…

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