… that it’s not going to be a good day when you’re headed out to the dentist and you end up running over a squirrel.
God, I hate squirrels. HATE THEM.
Still, it’s not like I TRIED to run him over. He (she? it?) was darting back and forth ahead of me, and he’d run off mostly to the side, and along I came, and he ran right out under the car and I felt that tell-tale kerTHUMP as he met my rear tire. Whoops.
It was already not a good morning, if you must know, and I’ll confess that my immediate reaction to his demise was “SERVES HIM RIGHT FOR EATING MY DECK!”
Technically speaking, I cannot prove that THAT was the squirrel who once snacked on my deck. I was pretty close to home, though, so you never know. It could’ve been.
And so on the heels of “SERVES HIM RIGHT!” I found myself thinking “Hold a grudge, much, Crazy Lady?”
And then, “You just killed something that used to be alive. WAY TO GO.”
It’s not as though I’ve suddenly developed a soft spot for squirrels or like I’m not the most flesh-loving carnivore you’ve ever met, because I haven’t and I definitely am. But adding murder to the list of things I have to be upset about today just wasn’t on my agenda.
No, see, my agenda looked something like this:
- Get up.
- Hate everyone and everything because life sucks.
- Get kids off to school.
- Hate some more, perhaps with a nice cup of hazelnut coffee.
- Answer some email.
- With caffeine coursing through veins, decide that perhaps I am overreacting.
- In shower, decide that I am actually justified. Vow to make several voodoo dolls.
- Go have my teeth cleaned.
- Come home, do some work.
- Have an unprecedented second cup of coffee and vow to be more zen.
- Do some more work.
- Be free of hatred—even if only temporarily—by the time the kids get home.
I thought it was a good plan.
And then I ran over that damn squirrel, so now I am just telling you, all bets are off. That squirrel was a SIGN, man.
A sign I never should’ve gotten out of bed today.
P.S. No cavities! Only a propensity to kill, and the dentist didn’t even notice that.