By Mir
March 10, 2007

Are you missing anything that might be located up high? Or is there perhaps going to be a meteor shower tonight? No? Pity. I just finished painting my ceilings and may never be able to look down (or even just forward) again.

I’m getting old.

Also, I would like to decide that I’m one of those people who is far too regal and privileged to do menial tasks like painting ceilings. Then I could just avoid the whole thing with a sense of righteousness. As it is, I spent the entire time wondering why I hadn’t batted my eyelashes a little harder at Otto and gotten it done when he was last here.

Oh well.

Knowing that I needed to paint the ceilings today, I did the most logical thing and did a million other things first because I didn’t wanna.

I was up early for the last phase of ceiling repair on my beleaguered ceiling. That last leak has been being repaired by my contractor for nearly two months. Oh, I called him up and he was happy to come fix it for free, no problem. But first he wanted me to wait a week to make sure it wasn’t a continuing leak. So I did. Then he came and cut out the soggy parts and put in a patch. Then a week or two later he came and did a layer of mud. Then he fell off the planet for a while, then he came back and did a second layer of mud. Then this week I called him and said “Dude, I have a bucket of mud here in my dining room, did you forget about me?” and he assured me that no, he hadn’t forgotten, he’d just been busy. So this morning, he came to put the texture on.

I made his job easier and more pleasant by standing there in the dining room while he worked, talking about how much I hate popcorn ceilings and I have no idea how anyone ever thought that was a good idea. I could tell he really appreciated it.

After that, I had some errands to run, and then I found myself at Burlington Coat Factory shopping for a suit for Monkey. I have never seen such an array of suits for small boys. It made my head spin. I quickly discovered that there are three options for the well-dressed little boy, when it comes to suits. He can look 1) completely boring, 2) like a tiny banker, or 3) like a pimp. (Although I must say, I was tempted by that navy suit with the pink stripes. That one would actually coordinate beautifully with my wedding dress.)

I called a friend on the phone and asked her what I should buy. She, surprisingly, had no opinion despite my waving two suits in front of my cell phone. And furthermore, EVEN MORE SHOCKING, she refused to drop everything and come meet me at the store. That bitch. She did suggest, though, that I just buy both and bring them home to decide. So I did that.

I brought home two adorable little suits and I have been staring at them ever since. One is a grey windowpane plaid, and one is a camel pinstripe. And it is suddenly TOO HARD to make a decision because it feels very IMPORTANT and while I like the grey better, the camel seems more spring/summery. Also I suspect that if I tell Monkey his suit is really a camel!—how FUN!—he will be slightly more likely to actually wear it.

Oh! Also today, I received a package from the very generous LadyBug, who read my tale of woe about trying to buy Chickadee a wedding dress on eBay and sent me some email saying, “What size does she wear? We have an outgrown flower girl dress here.” And then she mailed me the most gorgeous dress I have ever seen, because she is just a really, really nice lady, albeit in a box wrapped in about a mile of packing tape. I unwrapped it for about an hour because I was not bright enough to just get a damn pair of scissors already, but OH MY was it worth the wait. Chickadee is going to be THRILLED.

After most of my brain leaked out my ears while trying to decide between the suits, I packed up an entire winter’s worth of recycling and went to the dump, along with everyone else in my town. It was 50 degrees here today, downright balmy. When it’s only 10 degrees out, I don’t much care about saving the earth. At 50 degrees I can afford to be generous with separating my plastics from my glass.

When I came home, I started cleaning up some of the clutter that spontaneously generates around here, and then I got ready to paint.

And then I painted. For hours. And now I cannot pick my arms up or lower my head anymore. And I still don’t know which suit. Please send advil.


  1. Judy

    RE: suit. Assign them numbers and randomly draw one :-) And, grey is suitable for all seasons (and if it’s not.. at least it sounds good).

  2. Krisco

    So now the internet world has provided the dress for your girl for your wedding, too. Wow! It’s almost like, you know, it’s changed things in your life…. : )

    (Seriously, that is so cool and sweet of her to send it! Wow! And re the suit: I hate having decisions like that. What will the other men be wearing? (Any groomsmen or no?) Have him most match them. (Which is neither, right?)) Best of luck!!!

  3. Otto

    Go for the one on the left.

  4. Warrior Knitter

    LOL!! That Otto. What a helpful guy!

    Sorry, no advice on the suits, but I like do the camel idea.

  5. Cele

    Otto you do know that 1) it requires knowing your left from your right (which personally I am really bad at – no idea about Mir) 2) Mir’s subconscious favorite will end up on the left, she will realize it and need to ask again.

    It’s kismet

  6. Lady M

    I need to see these pimp suits, although I suppose you didn’t take any pictures of those. When the swing dance community dresses up, guys will wear zoot suits, which pretty much make them look like pimps. So hard out there, for a guy with style. ;)

  7. jenn2

    Maybe Monkey could choose?

    Ahahahahahahahahaha, sorry. Talk about ass-vice.

  8. BOSSY

    OK, so – close your eyes and imagine a world where you paint ceilings nearly every day – a world so heinous that even your contact lens is covered in paint spatter – and then open your eyes and be so glad you are only fixing one mistake in the house you are selling — Go out and celebrate with a glass of wine, knowing all the while that you are not one of the disadvantaged who make their living scraping old popcorn ceilings and painting the smelly innards of linen closets like tah-dah: Bossy.

  9. Melanie Marie

    Good God, you got a lot done in one day. I’m starting to think I need to get off the couch and get back to packing… nah!

  10. hollygee

    Most likely he will get a growth spurt and neither will fit when it comes time to wear them. Of course, now that you are all outfitted, you could just go ahead with the wedding now!
    Why wait?

    I know, so helpful. It is the cat-sized sinuses that are sitting on my forehead and making me scowl at the world.

  11. carolyn

    I’m with Jenn2. Let Monkey choose. Then, you can let him have the credit or the blame, either way.

  12. LadyBug Crossing

    Sorry about all that tape. You know my record with the post office is not the best. I wanted to make sure the item arrived inside the package.

  13. GetSheila

    So you tell us about the most beautiful of flower girl dresses and then DO NOT PROVIDE A PICTURE. It is because you cannot bend your neck to look through the camera eye piece, isn’t it?

  14. hillz

    i know how you feel about getting old. Whenever i do some kind of manual labour it takes me about two days before I can walk again. And I’m 25. In my defense i do have arthritis.

    On the bright side, I do have some GREAT pain meds that I can send you.

    Im sure Monkey will look great no matter what suit he wears, little boys are just cute in suits. And as they get older, surprisingly, that never changes. Suits are great. Weddings are great because they are full of suited men.

  15. MomCat

    I don’t suppose it would help if you told Monkey that all the girls will be crazy about him because he’s wearing a suit……no? Well, it was worth a shot.

    I’d say the choice depends on which color suit looks best and fits best. (Are you old enough to remember paying someone to tell you what ‘season’ you are, based on your skin tone, eye color and hair color? I’m a Winter, which is ironic, since I detest cold weather)

    Congrats on the lovely Chickadee dress! :)

    And – oh yeah – I’m with Melanie Marie – you get a heck of a lot done in a day, Mir! I would have quit after the trip to Burlington Coat Factory. “You know, ” I would have rationalized, “It’s too late in the day now to start painting ceilings.”

  16. ChristieNY

    Personally I’d go with whichever suit looked best held up beside the flowergirl dress.

    The more rational thing to do would be to let him try both on and see which looks best on him, but I’m a sucker for a coordinated bridal party. ;)

  17. liz

    If you like both of the suits, I’m with the people who say let Monkey choose, as long as he picks one complete suit. You’ll have to specify that he can’t wear the grey pants and camel coat, making him a camelphant (camel & elephant). I am All Into low-stress weddings, so really, if he’s happy with what he’s wearing and it’s presentable, move on to other planning fun.

  18. tammy

    I was just going to suggest letting him wear the top of one and the bottom of the other, but you probably shouldn’t listen to me, I’m all loopy today.

    I mean more so than usual. Shut up.

  19. Brigitte

    I latch onto the least important part: I also have always wondered who thought popcorn ceilings were a good idea!

  20. Brown Eyed Girl

    Oh my goodness. I have only ever painted ONCE in my lifetime…and will never do it again. The are a brave woman.

    I vote for the camel suit!

  21. TSM-truth, sincerity, madness

    I can feel your pain. I always have such high hopes when I go to change the color scheme…then poop out halfway through, then curse my way to the end, knowing if I leave it I won’t finish.

    Industrial size Advil, incoming.

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