Actual voicemail, left for my insurance agent early this afternoon:
Hi, Agent, this is Mir Lastname, at xxx-xxxx. I was just calling to find out what’s happening with that second adjustor… he never called. OH, and to tell you that if he needs to come out, now would be a good time, because thanks to that last storm, my freshly sanitized basement IS UNDERWATER AGAIN. I swear that once I find some dry matches, I’m going to BURN THE HOUSE DOWN. Thought you should know. Hope you’re having a SWELL weekend. Okay. BYE!