There is this very adorable thing that my mother does, and it is this: She calls me on the phone and after a few minutes of chit-chat, asks with great anticipation, “So what’s new? What’s going on?” This always leaves me feeling woefully inadequate for not having more to report.
[Note to Mom: I am not poking fun at you; I really do think it’s cute that you’re so convinced my life is exciting. I do wish that one of these days I can answer “Well, I figured out how to turn Kraft Macaroni and Cheese into platinum, but I haven’t had much time for that because I just got married! Also, I had the kids cloned last week. You should SEE all of ’em!”]
I mean, if she’s calling on Saturday night, and the TV is on in the background and I’m talking through mouthfuls of ice cream, it seems like maybe it ought to be self-explanatory that my life is dull. But that sort of hope is endearing.
I’m ambivalent about it. On the one hand, a day like today–where I don’t so much “just” do nothing as completely revel in doing nothing and roll around in it and make little sloth angels on the floor with my aimless flailing–is very soothing for me, once in a while. On the other hand, I have exactly one free day for every fourteen days, and it seems like maybe I ought to be more productive.
(If I eat enough ice cream, that worry tends to fade.)
I feel compelled to do a quick inventory, to see if maybe I’m missing reporting an interesting development.
Workwise: Things are good, but not particularly new or exciting. A pro bono project I’m doing is sucking up more time than I bargained for, but as they say, no good deed goes unpunished.
Healthwise: I poke myself in the left breast multiple times a day to see if it’s still sore. It’s oddly reminiscent of the early days of pregnancy. Said breast is duly pissed off about the recent mammogram and has responded with fresh production of boob pus! You’re ever so welcome for sharing! I cannot wait to see what it decides to do after my biopsy! [Oh, that was a whole ‘nother ball of fun… the surgeon’s nurse called to get me scheduled, and I thought it was an in-office band-aid procedure but it’s a freaking day surgery deal and she had a conniption when–still not understanding that–I said I had to be done by 3 to get my kids from school. “YOU CAN’T DRIVE!” she hollered at me. “PROMISE ME YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CANNOT DRIVE THAT DAY!” Sheesh, lady. I didn’t comprehend that shoving a needle into my boob was going to render me unable to operate a car. But okay.]
Shoewise: I think I forgot to mention that I stopped at my local TJ Maxx the other day and they had just about all of their clearance shoes marked down to $7/pair. SEVEN. DOLLARS. By the time I got home with my three pairs for $21 (originally $230 worth of designer soles), I was whispering “Was it good for you?” into the bag. Oh, baby.
Romancewise: Well, let’s see. One friend of mine was unexpectedly dumped last night (causing me to want to fly to her city immediately and find the idiot and pummel him), and another got married today (causing me to want to fly to her city immediately and dance at her reception). Oh, were you asking about ME? Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yeah. Well, I have been having an awful lot of dreams featuring spandex-clad Olympic athletes. With their fine, fine Olympic glutes. Um. Hey, look over there! Something SHINY!
Kidwise: They’re still alive, so far as I know. Pretty sure my ex would’ve called if they weren’t. Though he did call while shopping for Invention Convention supplies this evening, and I assume my voice took on that shrill, annoyed pitch it sometimes does when I’m feeling beleaguered as I asked if they had JUST STARTED working and was I going to be doing the entire thing with Chickie on Sunday night? He assured me they planned to get a lot done tomorrow. Which is good, as by the time the children left on Friday night I was ready to sautee Chickadee over high heat and eat her on crackers. I’d been sewing fabric to her specifications while she whined that I was ruining everything. Yay! Parenting is FUN!
Walkwise: My walk buddy had the flu this week, so I was left on my own to train. I did work out twice on my own. I should’ve done more, but I was too busy poking my sore boob.
Todaywise: I slept late, never got dressed, had leftover pizza for breakfast, read a novel cover to cover, soaked in a nice hot bath, and watched Olympic coverage. I did not pay bills, clean the house, take a trip to the dump, or do any of the other things I probably should’ve done. Whoops.
By the way, the burgundy suede Anne Klein slingbacks look awesome with my sweatpants.