Ennui with a side of international sports

By Mir
February 18, 2006

There is this very adorable thing that my mother does, and it is this: She calls me on the phone and after a few minutes of chit-chat, asks with great anticipation, “So what’s new? What’s going on?” This always leaves me feeling woefully inadequate for not having more to report.

[Note to Mom: I am not poking fun at you; I really do think it’s cute that you’re so convinced my life is exciting. I do wish that one of these days I can answer “Well, I figured out how to turn Kraft Macaroni and Cheese into platinum, but I haven’t had much time for that because I just got married! Also, I had the kids cloned last week. You should SEE all of ’em!”]

I mean, if she’s calling on Saturday night, and the TV is on in the background and I’m talking through mouthfuls of ice cream, it seems like maybe it ought to be self-explanatory that my life is dull. But that sort of hope is endearing.

I’m ambivalent about it. On the one hand, a day like today–where I don’t so much “just” do nothing as completely revel in doing nothing and roll around in it and make little sloth angels on the floor with my aimless flailing–is very soothing for me, once in a while. On the other hand, I have exactly one free day for every fourteen days, and it seems like maybe I ought to be more productive.

(If I eat enough ice cream, that worry tends to fade.)

I feel compelled to do a quick inventory, to see if maybe I’m missing reporting an interesting development.

Workwise: Things are good, but not particularly new or exciting. A pro bono project I’m doing is sucking up more time than I bargained for, but as they say, no good deed goes unpunished.

Healthwise: I poke myself in the left breast multiple times a day to see if it’s still sore. It’s oddly reminiscent of the early days of pregnancy. Said breast is duly pissed off about the recent mammogram and has responded with fresh production of boob pus! You’re ever so welcome for sharing! I cannot wait to see what it decides to do after my biopsy! [Oh, that was a whole ‘nother ball of fun… the surgeon’s nurse called to get me scheduled, and I thought it was an in-office band-aid procedure but it’s a freaking day surgery deal and she had a conniption when–still not understanding that–I said I had to be done by 3 to get my kids from school. “YOU CAN’T DRIVE!” she hollered at me. “PROMISE ME YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CANNOT DRIVE THAT DAY!” Sheesh, lady. I didn’t comprehend that shoving a needle into my boob was going to render me unable to operate a car. But okay.]

Shoewise: I think I forgot to mention that I stopped at my local TJ Maxx the other day and they had just about all of their clearance shoes marked down to $7/pair. SEVEN. DOLLARS. By the time I got home with my three pairs for $21 (originally $230 worth of designer soles), I was whispering “Was it good for you?” into the bag. Oh, baby.

Romancewise: Well, let’s see. One friend of mine was unexpectedly dumped last night (causing me to want to fly to her city immediately and find the idiot and pummel him), and another got married today (causing me to want to fly to her city immediately and dance at her reception). Oh, were you asking about ME? Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yeah. Well, I have been having an awful lot of dreams featuring spandex-clad Olympic athletes. With their fine, fine Olympic glutes. Um. Hey, look over there! Something SHINY!

Kidwise: They’re still alive, so far as I know. Pretty sure my ex would’ve called if they weren’t. Though he did call while shopping for Invention Convention supplies this evening, and I assume my voice took on that shrill, annoyed pitch it sometimes does when I’m feeling beleaguered as I asked if they had JUST STARTED working and was I going to be doing the entire thing with Chickie on Sunday night? He assured me they planned to get a lot done tomorrow. Which is good, as by the time the children left on Friday night I was ready to sautee Chickadee over high heat and eat her on crackers. I’d been sewing fabric to her specifications while she whined that I was ruining everything. Yay! Parenting is FUN!

Walkwise: My walk buddy had the flu this week, so I was left on my own to train. I did work out twice on my own. I should’ve done more, but I was too busy poking my sore boob.

Todaywise: I slept late, never got dressed, had leftover pizza for breakfast, read a novel cover to cover, soaked in a nice hot bath, and watched Olympic coverage. I did not pay bills, clean the house, take a trip to the dump, or do any of the other things I probably should’ve done. Whoops.

By the way, the burgundy suede Anne Klein slingbacks look awesome with my sweatpants.


  1. Patricia

    And yet, somehow you wonder why I want to worship you?

    Congrats on the shoes — new shoes make most things all better — and I think ice cream takes care of the rest.

  2. DebR

    1. What kind of ice cream?

    2. Will you show a photo of the shoes if we promise not to drool on them?

  3. Mom

    Thank you my darling daughter for this detailed update (even though I assume it was our phone chat this very night that inspired this entry). But I will continue with the phone calls so that I can hear your lilting voice and the bite of your ever sharp wit. Reading you is fun, but it’s just not the same. And oh, by the way – I love you very much. So what’s new?


  4. bella

    I love me a good shoe bargain. I think I’ll head over to T.J.’s today.

  5. Leanne

    Since I have been AWOL, I have to thank Mom for asking. Now I feel all caught up, and I also feel like stopping over with a box of Krispy Kremes and some Starbucks to chat.

    Stop poking yourself, already! Maybe you’ll quit oozing. :P

    I’ll try not to be gone so long.

    Hugs, and more hugs.

  6. Contrary

    Wow, sounds kinda like my day except that instead of watchin the Olympics, I was watching the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. I had it on TiVo and no one was allowed to tell me who won (it’s like my superbowl).

    Of course, that’s 6 hours long, so I did have to stop for a nap in the middle of the hound group.

  7. Cele

    I do that to my daughter too, and my sister does it to me, my mother does it to all of us. It is a natural transition of womanhood Mir.

    Your problem is you never get out, and the shoe department is no place to meet men. I mean really what self respecting man would be caught dead in a women’s shoe department? I’m either right or watch to much Law & Order.

    Plus you work out of your home, that gives the options of the meter reader, the cable repairman, and UPS guy (and he’s married) or the mailman (and she’s not interested, sorry.) You need to get out more.

    Suggestion, troll the aisle of Home Depot and try very hard to look helpless. Or maybe Autozone, or Lowe’s, or hey the bowling alley (at least that one would be fun.) And baseball season is only two months away.

  8. Betsy

    At least you don’t get questions from your mom that start out ‘How’s the depression…?’ or ‘Are you still depressed…?’

    I always want to reply ‘well, if I wasn’t, then I am *now*, thanks for asking…!’

  9. diane

    Tee hee. I just wanted to say you and your Mom are ridiculously adorable. :)

  10. Jen the Mom

    My mom and I talk every day so I find it cute to hear you talk about you and your mom.

    Hope all gets figured out in boob land.

  11. Holley

    I love the way you spent your day, I’m completely jealous. Be proud of such an excellent day.

  12. ben

    Okay, but if you post pictures, it has to be of said ice cream and/or breast (though not necessarily in the same frame) and we’ll promise not to drool on them. Too much.

    Also, the olympic short track? (yes, I convinced my wife to stop watching HGTV long enough to see if the olympics were still running) – I would get dizzy going that fast in a tiny circle. It’s like Nascar but with real athletes!

  13. Amy-GO

    Oh, I am SO going to TJ Maxx tommorrow. Pictures of said shoe goldmine, please! And as for the romance, I’m ready to skewer my husband and grill him for dinner, so it’s overrated. Stick with the cute Olympic boys…more satisfying, less work. ;)

  14. Nothing But Bonfires

    I have no burgundy suede Anne Klein slingbacks, and this is not fair. I will hold you entirely responsible when I spend $35 on five pairs of shoes tomorrow. That was supposed to be ICE CREAM MONEY, you know.

  15. margalit

    Have you checked out the going out of biz sale at Filenes yet? We went today and got the Girl a pair of boots for $14 and the Boy two pairs of pants for a combined total of $16. I got two boxes of Sees Candies for $2 each. But I could have spent more had the delightful children beside me not whined incessently as soon as we left their departments and maybe, just maybe let me look at something for me.

  16. Fraulein N

    Seven. Dollars?! Must … find … nearest TJMaxx…

  17. Kestralyn

    I LOOOOVE skater’s butts! And I have to admit, I was having a silver/gold sandwich fantasy after the men’s figure skating long program ;-) Glad to know I’m not the only one!

    Oh, and Cele? You actually get better mileage at Home Depot if you act as though you know what you’re doing but you just can’t find the thing you want. That way you get a guy who is willing to believe you have a brain ;-)

    Sounds like a wonderful day — better than spending 2.5 hours shopping and slithering around in the sleet.

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