By Mir
February 2, 2006

Today I left the house for a while and went out and wandered aimlessly, because it felt like I’d been in the house a few too many days in a row. I went out to a store and tried on some clothing that didn’t fit. It reminded me that I’m still a citizen of the world. The world which has been designed by and for the assless, in fact.

When I got home, two important things had happened. One: My mail had come, and with it, a small package from the excellent and very pretty Joshilyn. I love her so much that I’m not even upset that it wasn’t a gibbon. She had TOLD me she was shipping me a gibbon and I’d already planned to name him Mr. Jingles. So, well, I was almost a little bit disappointed, but in lieu of a gibbon she sent something EVEN COOLER which is not the point of this entry, so I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.

The second important thing that happened was that I was finally out of the house long enough to reset my nose.

You know that from time to time I agree to try out a product or look at something *shudder* (sorry, I was having a flashback) in exchange for blogging about it. I do this because I am a humanitarian who believes deeply in capitalism and word-of-mouth marketing. And because I like free stuff.

So a few days ago I received the new Febreze Noticeables to try out. I only buy air fresheners when I have a coupon that basically makes them free, and then I pick a location in the house that smells most like socks or rotting food and plug it in. Thereafter I enjoy the scent for however long it lasts–which usually seems to be about 4 days–and then never buy a refill because the next time I’m at the store, I notice they cost more than I think 4 days of fake scent should.

I’m not sure that this makes me the ideal tester for the Noticeables. Heh.

Anyway, it arrived, and I spent some time admiring the packaging. (Did you know that the Noticeables “alternate for lasting freshness?” It’s true! Each oil pack contains two “complementary” scents, and you plug them into the warmer, and the warmer automatically switches between the two, and this is NEW and DIFFERENT and FABULOUS. I think. Well, it’s supposed to be.) Okay, I was not so much admiring the packaging as trying to sniff the two scents individually without sticking the bottle nozzles up my nose. It’s harder to do than you might think. They’re attached.

I received the “morning walk” and “cleansing rain” duo as well as the “calypso breeze” and “hawaiian paradise” duo. I was unable to distinguish the two scents clearly in either box. The walk/rain duo smells sort of fresh and clean and innocuous, to me, so that’s the one I elected to put into the warmer. The breeze/paradise duo reminded me of fruit roll-ups left in the sun for too long (sticky-sweet smelling) and did not appeal to me as a scent with which to infuse a room.

The scent was noticeable (get it? get it??) within 5 minutes of plugging in the unit, and was pleasant enough. I did occasionally catch a whiff of it down the hall by my kids’ rooms, even though I have the unit plugged in in my room. But for the most part, over the last few days it has escaped my notice entirely.

[Sidebar: It occurs to me that first I said I pick the smelliest location in the house, then I confessed that I’d put the Noticeable in my bedroom. This is not because my bedroom smells. Actually there is a corollary to the “pick the smelliest room” rule, and that is “but if you’re feeling lazy, pick the room you’re standing in when you open the package.” So. I promise that my bedroom smells neither like socks nor rotting food. This week.]

When I came home from being out today, I caught the scent halfway up my stairs, which is a pretty impressive reach. But–again–within about an hour, I was sort of saturated on it and didn’t smell it (consciously, anyway) anymore.

So. That’s the backstory. Bottom line?

On the pro side, the scent is far-reaching and pleasant but not overpowering. (At least, the walk/rain duo seems to be that way. I’m flat-out afraid to try the fruit one.) As far as I can tell, the level of scent is pretty consistent.

On the con side, I assume that the marketing angle of this unit is how different and/or cool and/or innovative it is that the scent switches back and forth between the two choices… but I can’t tell the difference. Maybe it’s the scent duo I’m using, and it would be more obvious with another… uhhh… flavor. Regardless, I’m not sure that “Oh! Now it smells like puppies! Now it smells like kittens!” would really enhance my enjoyment in a way that justifies the more complex unit.

On the maybe they should try a little harder side, Noticeables? That was the salient feature of this particular air freshener? Not that it smells great, or that it cleans the air, but that it can be… noticed? Heck, even if it smelled like moldy skunks, THAT would be noticeable. I’ve been working in advertising for a while now, and I’m just not sure how this particular branding campaign made it through. But perhaps I’m being short-sighted.

In an attempt to better understand the rationale and amazing persuasive power behind this naming scheme, I’ve decided to test it out, myself. Never let it be said that I don’t go the extra mile!

I’ve decided to start referring to the children as my Feedables. Sure, they have many fine characteristics, but why split hairs? My clients shall all now be known as Workables. And of course the bills will henceforth be known as Crapables. I’ll be renaming other things as I go along, then relaying those changes and any inherent benefits therein to you via my Typeable, here on my little Blogable. Hee. It might be time for me to go to Sleepable.


  1. Mom

    I thinkable I’ll stickable with realable scentables. Like doggable and, Lord help me, chocolateable. Smells good, tastes good. The latter, that is. The former is for loveables and playables.


  2. Sharkey

    I got hung up on the ‘complimentary’ thing. Did the package really say that? Did the Noticeables notice that you’re pretty?

    I’m thinking complementary scents are nice and all, but if they were dishing out compliments then the Febreeze people would really have something. (No wonder you put it in your bedroom!)

  3. Mir

    WHOOPS! No, that’s my typo, Sharkey. Heh. I’d definitely like them better if they told me I was pretty. I’m really going to bed, now.

  4. shiz

    My husband says your clients are your “billables”.

    Have a great sleepable!

  5. Cele

    I think this is all quite doable

  6. Bob

    does this make me a readable? (I’ve frequently been accused of being transparent.)

    I believe that the selling point of this product is the constant changing of the scent prevents it from fading into the background – which you plainly state didn’t happen.

    I’ve also been accused of being gullable, as I expect FeBreze is counting on, but I think I’ll pass on the product.

  7. Busy Mom

    I am humbled, my review of them just said they were pretty cool.

  8. Jenn2

    How did that campaign get through? Mir, are you forgetting this is a company that thought marketing air freshner in CD form would be a great idea?

  9. dad

    I so often come to your blog for the laughables. I stand in awe of your ability to wax eloquent on the most mundane topic (and make it..well, readable.

    Are you ready to take on the people that bring us the stinkable inserts in the weekend newspapers? They reek! I just want to read the news and do the crossword and sodoku, but along with it comes a cloud of awful perfume.

    Oppressed noses unite!

  10. udge

    On the theory that laughter is the best remedy: Does that make your boob a Lumpable? (Still can’t believe that it takes two weeks to arrange a mammography test.)

  11. paige

    I saw a commercial for that the other day. How confusing. One scent isn’t enough? Hmph.

    Though “Calypso Breeze” does sound nice …

  12. Erin (erin-erin-bo-berin)

    I’m going to try them out. If they last long enough for me to go back to the store and buy a refill (who KNOWS how long that will be), then they’re a keeper!

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