And all through the house, I was still running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
Actually, no. Tonight I am not doing that. That’s what I was doing earlier today.
You see, um, sometimes Santa has me help him out, a little? And I am of course impeccably organized? Except when I’m not…? So I spent part of today while the kids were gone tearing apart the house looking for some special stocking-stuffer candy I knew I had, but couldn’t find. This included a call to the friend who was shopping with me when I bought it.
Me: Do you remember when we got that stuff at Target?
Her: … Um, hi! I’m fine, thanks.
Me: Right, yeah, hi. Do you remember? Did I take my stuff? Do you know where I put it?
Her: I can check here…
Me: No, I think I took it. BUT WHERE DID I PUT IT?
Her: Was I supposed to get that information from you? I’m sorry.
Me: Okay, well, I have to go kill myself now. Talk to you later.
I found the missing bag about 15 minutes later. When I called my friend back, she didn’t pick up. She may have been screening calls on account of strange people who call her all in a tizzy over giant candy sticks and think she should be telepathic. I’m not sure. Anyway, I’m a lot more succinct when I’m not panicking.
Machine: … so leave us a message and we’ll call you back!
Me: Found ’em! *click*
Then I assembled everything I still needed to wrap and cut and measured and taped my little heart out. While watching the Cartoon Network, which we’ll say was because I missed the kids. By the way? The Powerpuff Girls saved Christmas.
While wrapping, I needed something to munch on. Fortunately for me, 1) my ex works with people who like to give him food and 2) he doesn’t eat candy. Earlier this week he gave me a box of wrapped chocolate mints that he claimed to have gotten from someone who went to Finland. I was a little nervous, because the last time he offered me food from a vendor, it was preserves from Sweden. And I had been all “Oh! Jelly! I like jelly!” But then I quickly discovered that the reason he was pawning it off on me was because in Sweden they apparently make all manner of things into jelly that SHOULD NOT BE JELLY. Like… carrots!
I did not like the carrot jelly. I did not like it, Sam I Am. It was CARROT JELLY. So. Wrong.
But this time, I figured, hey, it’s chocolate! And mint! What could be wrong, there? So as I was wrapping I went and retrieved the box and unwrapped a mint and tried it. I was relieved to discover that–despite being the approximate size and appearance of chihuahua poop–these candies taste exactly like Junior Mints. Perfect wrapping food, really.
Along about the third one, I realized the candy wrappers had writing on them. “Fazer Mints” they proclaimed. Fazer Mints? I instantly regretted spending the day alone, as a bevy of incredibly geeky Star Wars jokes sprang to mind. I went right ahead and used the force (get it? get it??) to open another while I chuckled.
(Okay, maybe it was good that I was alone….)
At last I had everything done and tossed under the tree. Hmmm. Doesn’t look like so much now that it’s done. But I assure you that me and my fazer mints worked hard! And that the kids came home and peeked and poked and danced around singing TWOOOOOO MORE DAYS TIL CHRIIIIISTMAS. The spirit of the Lord was truly upon them, yessiree.
The children bounced off the walls and the floors and each other and it was all fun and games until Monkey landed on Chickadee’s head, and then it was quite tragic, but they’re both asleep now. Tomorrow we plan to watch movies in our jammies until it’s time to meet friends for dinner and church.
I spent some time laying on the floor of the living room tonight, in the dark, just watching the tree lights twinkle. It’s very soothing. I especially like looking directly up at the star and letting the other lights play in my peripheral vision. I end up feeling rather melancholy, but not in an unpleasant way. It’s hard to explain.
From my house to yours, I’m wishing you all a very merry Christmas or [insert holiday of choice here] this weekend. May we all focus on what’s important and let the rest fall away, even if only for a short time.