Ever have one of those days where it feels like you’re working through a series of things, but nothing ever actually gets COMPLETED? Busy busy busy and in the end, you have nearly as much to do as you started out with. At least it seems that way.
Okay, well, I can see that this is something that only happens to me. Nevermind! I mean, I got SO MUCH done today!
For example, I drove a carload of toys around town today, which I’m sure has been really beneficial to the poor. Yeah. Um. Well, the idea was to drop them off for donation, but first I went to one drop-off location (after church) which was closed. Then I called a friend to check the paper for me, and obtained a second location, and went there, where they looked at me as if I had three heads and informed me that they haven’t been a collection point for several years. I made another phone call, obtained a THIRD location, and headed over to discover they were closed. Okay, then!
I suppose it wouldn’t be all that charitable if I dropped them off tomorrow along with “Here’s your goddamned toys, they enjoyed the tour of town yesterday” would it? No?
Meanwhile, church was a complete success today if you’re willing to overlook the fact that my children are incapable of sitting quietly for more than 5 minutes. I am quite accustomed to wildly gesturing at them from where I sit with the choir. Usually this takes the form of a series of motions and whispers designed to convey STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR THE BEATINGS WILL COMMENCE AFTER THE SERVICE. But today as my darling son decided to complain of some injustice visited upon him by his sister, the choir was rising to sing. So instead of my usual response (flailing and shooting flames out of my eyeballs) I merely sort of waved him away while standing and opening my folder.
This did not meet with Monkey’s approval. He felt he needed to express this by walking right into the choir and TUGGING ON ME and loudly “well she took my–“ing as we prepared to sing.
Monkey is nearly 6. He has been attending church since birth. He is both too familiar with the expectations therein and too old to be strolling up before the anthem and demanding my attention.
First, I prayed for a lightning bolt to stop him. That seemed like it would be most fitting. But I am rather fond of him and all (plus no lightning bolt appeared to be forthcoming), so I opted for the next best thing, which was a great big maternal hug that squashed his little face into my hip so that he couldn’t continue talking. Fortunately he didn’t struggle so I didn’t actually have to suffocate him.
He did run away from me very quickly afterwards when I was able to train my laser beam eyes on him.
Later, at the supermarket, I tried to limit my purchases on account of my entire car was still full of undelivered toys. I managed to spend an hour trying not to run over my children with the cart and get everything that the children demanded (milk, bread, pop-tarts) but forget half of what I’d intended to buy this week. Whoops.
I did pick up some portobello mushrooms caps that were on sale, then–thanks to my incomplete expedition–wasn’t quite sure what to stuff them with, because I was missing the ingredients I’d planned on. So tonight I pretty much just dug stuff out of the fridge and the pantry and started mixing things together. Chickadee observed me at work and asked what I was doing.
“Cooking,” I answered.
“For… you, right?” She actually sniffed the ingredients closest to her and recoiled a bit. I tried very hard not to laugh. I was actually cooking ahead for tomorrow night, but now I just can’t WAIT to serve this to her!
Then, of course, is the little matter of Christmas decorations. I keep telling the kids that as soon as we get the house picked up, we can start decorating. But they are not interested in cleaning. (Surprise!) And really, I cannot fault them at this point, because by the time I cleaned the ream and a half of paper (all VERY IMPORTANT pieces of artwork and writing, dontchaknow) out of Monkey’s backpack, I didn’t much feel like cleaning up the rest of the house, either.
Really, it was an unremarkable day. Except that I can’t seem to get away from this feeling of having a lot of unfinished business. Which is a feeling, it turns out, awfully similar to feeling like I’ve lost something.