I am totally capitalizing on all of this kid-free time. The house is spotless; I’ve finished up projects I’ve been putting off for years; and tonight I got gussied up and went out where children aren’t even allowed.
Oh, wait. That was just my imagination. Whoops!
In reality, I guess you could say I’m off to sort of a slow start. Or that I’m just a complete lazyass. It’s sort of a toss-up, really. It’s just been so long since I was able to sleep late and do almost nothing; I think I was overdue. Of course, once I got going, it was a highly productive day.
6:00 Alarm does NOT go off, because it’s Saturday.
7:00 Still sleeping.
8:00 Open eyes and glance at clock. Turn over.
9:00 Consider getting up. Decide against it.
10:15 Get out of bed. To go pee.
10:16 Get back into bed with a book that I started last week that so far is really terrible. Still holding out hope that it gets better.
10:30 Receive phone call from friend. Lie and claim to have been up for hours.
12:43 Finish book. Berate self for having read the entire thing.
12:44 Have breakfast.
12:46 Consider mowing lawn. Check email instead.
1:10 Oh, what the hell. I’m clearly not going to get anything done today. May as well surf some blogs.
2:55 What’s that smell? Oh, it’s me! Um, time to shower.
3:45 Load up car with items to drop off at the kids’ consignment store.
3:46 Look outside and notice that the pool I set up a week ago has become its own ecosystem.
3:48 After much squinting and walking around said pool, find drainplug. Pull.
3:49 Go back inside and wash arm before leaving.
4:25 Having dropped off two bags of stuff at the store, I leave with a new bag of stuff. Hey, I’m not supposed to be doing kid stuff. I’m gonna go shopping for ME. Ha!
4:35 Walk into Target. Enter time warp.
5:35 Check out at Target. One hour has yielded a pair of shoes for Monkey ($3.74) and a pair of jeans for Chickadee ($4.94). Hey… wasn’t I supposed to be shopping for myself?
5:40 Walk into TJ Maxx.
5:48 Command the world to stop with the fugly bohemian flowy crap already. World–oddly–does not obey.
5:52 Start casing the purses in utter desperation because the clothes are so hideous. Find an adorable purse in the clearance section.
5:53 Check price tag. Clearance price = $149.
5:53:02 Have aneurysm.
5:53:04 Congratulate self on good taste.
5:53:05 Put purse back.
5:54 Defeated, head to children’s section.
6:07 Check out with underwear for Monkey and socks for Chickadee. Deja vu sets in.
6:10 Drive through Wendy’s and get a salad.
6:20 Check email while eating salad.
7:00 Look outside and notice the pool is still full.
7:05 Having ascertained that the draining water has a strong enough pull to close the drainhole, I put a large rock on the plug lid to hold it open.
7:06 Go back inside and wash arm.
7:07 Start channel surfing.
8:15 Decide I need ice cream. Strike deal with self: I may go down to the basement and get ice cream out of the deep freeze if I empty the dehumidifier down there, first.
8:16 Empty dehumidifier.
8:17 Eat ice cream.
8:59 Wonder if really I should’ve gotten more done today. Consider tasks I should really tackle.
9:02 Remove chipped polish from toenails.
9:07 Paint toenails new color.
I dunno… could tomorrow possibly be more exciting?