Footloose and fancy-free

By Mir
July 2, 2005

I am totally capitalizing on all of this kid-free time. The house is spotless; I’ve finished up projects I’ve been putting off for years; and tonight I got gussied up and went out where children aren’t even allowed.

Oh, wait. That was just my imagination. Whoops!

In reality, I guess you could say I’m off to sort of a slow start. Or that I’m just a complete lazyass. It’s sort of a toss-up, really. It’s just been so long since I was able to sleep late and do almost nothing; I think I was overdue. Of course, once I got going, it was a highly productive day.

6:00 Alarm does NOT go off, because it’s Saturday.
7:00 Still sleeping.
8:00 Open eyes and glance at clock. Turn over.
9:00 Consider getting up. Decide against it.
10:15 Get out of bed. To go pee.
10:16 Get back into bed with a book that I started last week that so far is really terrible. Still holding out hope that it gets better.
10:30 Receive phone call from friend. Lie and claim to have been up for hours.
12:43 Finish book. Berate self for having read the entire thing.
12:44 Have breakfast.
12:46 Consider mowing lawn. Check email instead.
1:10 Oh, what the hell. I’m clearly not going to get anything done today. May as well surf some blogs.
2:55 What’s that smell? Oh, it’s me! Um, time to shower.
3:45 Load up car with items to drop off at the kids’ consignment store.
3:46 Look outside and notice that the pool I set up a week ago has become its own ecosystem.
3:48 After much squinting and walking around said pool, find drainplug. Pull.
3:49 Go back inside and wash arm before leaving.
4:25 Having dropped off two bags of stuff at the store, I leave with a new bag of stuff. Hey, I’m not supposed to be doing kid stuff. I’m gonna go shopping for ME. Ha!
4:35 Walk into Target. Enter time warp.
5:35 Check out at Target. One hour has yielded a pair of shoes for Monkey ($3.74) and a pair of jeans for Chickadee ($4.94). Hey… wasn’t I supposed to be shopping for myself?
5:40 Walk into TJ Maxx.
5:48 Command the world to stop with the fugly bohemian flowy crap already. World–oddly–does not obey.
5:52 Start casing the purses in utter desperation because the clothes are so hideous. Find an adorable purse in the clearance section.
5:53 Check price tag. Clearance price = $149.
5:53:02 Have aneurysm.
5:53:04 Congratulate self on good taste.
5:53:05 Put purse back.
5:54 Defeated, head to children’s section.
6:07 Check out with underwear for Monkey and socks for Chickadee. Deja vu sets in.
6:10 Drive through Wendy’s and get a salad.
6:20 Check email while eating salad.
7:00 Look outside and notice the pool is still full.
7:05 Having ascertained that the draining water has a strong enough pull to close the drainhole, I put a large rock on the plug lid to hold it open.
7:06 Go back inside and wash arm.
7:07 Start channel surfing.
8:15 Decide I need ice cream. Strike deal with self: I may go down to the basement and get ice cream out of the deep freeze if I empty the dehumidifier down there, first.
8:16 Empty dehumidifier.
8:17 Eat ice cream.
8:59 Wonder if really I should’ve gotten more done today. Consider tasks I should really tackle.
9:02 Remove chipped polish from toenails.
9:07 Paint toenails new color.

I dunno… could tomorrow possibly be more exciting?


  1. Bob

    I think you and I traded days. (remember I am on vacation).
    I got up at 7:45, walked my 1.5 miles over hill and dale. Took a shower (cause everyone could smell me) noticed my father-in-law out mowing the lawn, changed back into my walking outfit and went out to help (my father-in-law is 81 years old and puts me to shame regularly). My sister-in-law shows up w/her brood as we are going to the zoo! I clean up again and change into my zoo outfit and we take off for the zoo. We broil in the sun for 4.5 hours walking around winding zoo paths while all of the animals are snoozing in the shade (thinking that these bipedal hairless apes sure are stupid, don’t they know what to do when it’s 95 degrees out?) We come home to immediately start cooking for a family get together starting at 6:00. It is now 11:30 and the last stragglers have just left. Tomorrow is shaping up to be like today.

    I’m jealous of your day. Mine sounds more like yours usually do. I have yet to sleep past 8:00 AND I AM ON VACATION!

    Enjoy yourself.

  2. Nic

    Sounds like a dreamy day, I wish I had more of those. The kicker to days like that is that you will still sleep another eight hours, as if your body was tired from doing not so much at all. Enjoy the time that you have, it flies!

  3. alektra

    This is pretty much how single people live. Except I don’t always sleep late, and I don’t have to buy kids’ clothes. But honestly? My roommate did leave ecosystems I would run across from time to time, and I would have to clean them if I wanted them to go away…

    How’s it feel? :)

  4. Suzanne

    I have the same kind of days all the way in Georgia. You see? it’s a sisterhood of mother’s while their kids are visiting their fathers.

  5. diane

    I love it Mir! I was supposed to spend yesterday preparing for my move that’s taking place in only two weeks. Instead:
    *Get up early, get to grocery store!
    *Come home, go running
    *Come back from run, sleep
    *Friend calls to stop by–at 1pm–pretend I wasn’t sleeping
    *Have long enjoyable coffee with friend
    *Go home, sleep
    *Wake up at 5, get nails done for evening date
    *Try on 10 outfits, run out to Sears to buy a shirt I like better
    *End date at midnight because I’m so sleepy I can barely talk anymore.

  6. Shannon

    Good for you for taking a day to yourself!!!

  7. Dawn

    Take it from someone who’s been divorced for a decade…this is what you are SUPPOSED to do (or not do) on the first day when the kids are with their dad. R.E.L.A.X. Sleep in. Read whole books at one go. Have ice cream. Browse stores. Refresh nail polish. Think TWO WHOLE THOUGHTS WITHOUT INTERRUPTION IN A ROW! See? You’ve got the routine down already! You’re a natural!

  8. Shiz

    That sounds like a wonderful day. I especially like where you “Command the world to stop with the fugly bohemian flowy crap already,” because, how TRUE.

  9. Jenn

    Sounds like an absolutely dreamy day. If you get bored with days like, I would be more than happy to trade you for a day. For you of course. Not because I dream of a childfree summer day. Honest!

    But I must know…what was the horrible book you read? lol

  10. bad penguin

    Don’t you hate the bargains that aren’t bargains? I just had that some problem at the outlet mall yesterday. Very annoying.

  11. Seriously Steph.

    Delurking a moment to reveal that, even with the funky pool, the bohemian clothes encounter, and all the failed attempts to get yourself something nice for a change, I STILL think your day sounds totally incredible and I’m jealous! A day with no kids and sleep, ahhh…enjoy, enjoy!

  12. Amy

    $149 on clearance? Please. $1.49, maybe. Good grief.

    It’s so nice to be near a working computer and catch up with you! Glad you got to have a lazy day. Enjoy the free time!

  13. La Pix

    Hey Mir, I’m glad you got a restful day to yourself. It might be hard to do (really hard) under normal circumstances, but it’s necessary sometimes.

    As a culture we have a really skewed idea of productivity. We don’t balance it with sustainability is why. For example using land 100% of the time for crops doesn’t enable the land to recover and enrich itself. It’s taken US farmers 300 years to realize they should go back to growing the way the native Americans did, rotating crops, resting the land for long stretches in between.

    That stupid statistic about brain productivity people quote all the time is another example: “You are only using 1/5 (or 10%) of your brain.” Our brains would cease to function if every neuron was firing at once. Even though parts of the brain may not be “activated”, they may be receiving or storing or doing other things.

    I’m sure you know this since you’re a smart cookie, and that it’s not as fun reading a post with no sarcasm or criticism – you may not really think you’re a lazyass at all. This *is* Woulda Coulda Shoulda.

    So if the lazyass comment is a put-on for the sake of interesting blog reading, then consider this a public service message from a relapsed workaholic. Sometimes we gotta let the land lie fallow, so the harvest will be richer later. So our relationship with the land will be sustainable over the long haul.

  14. alice, uptown

    That bohemian-wear? Don’t look now, but it seems we are going to visit every bad fashion choice we ever made in our lives through the choices of people young enough to be paying into our Social Security. I can forgive fashion error if it will fund my retirement.

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