It’s been a busy weekend. Busy busy busy. That’s right. So very busy! Now, I don’t mind busy when I feel like I’m getting things done. You work, you’re rewarded. That works well all around, yes? But being busy rushing here and there and feeling like I still have as much to do as when I started… well….
So! Ever one to seek the bright side (shut up), I’ve decided this weekend’s progress will be measured in lessons learned, because it sure as heck can’t be declared a success based upon the state of my house or my to-do list. And really, that’s so pedestrian, anyway. A clean house, or tasks completed. Pffft. Anybody can have those. I’m doing the difficult intellectual work here, people, so that everyone can benefit from my wisdom.
You can thank me later. Preferrably in cash.
THINGS I’VE LEARNED THIS WEEKEND, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
1) Computers have delicate little feelings and are easily insulted. If you call a computer a worthless piece of crap often enough, it will take it to heart and lose the will to boot.
2) “Little House on the Prairie” is shown on the Hallmark Channel approximately twelve times a day. The DVR service through the cable company (unlike TiVo) offers the option to record “one episode” or “all episodes” but not “all episodes shown in this particular time slot.”
3) A DVR full of nothing but “Little House on the Prairie” will make small children very happy.
4) Someone will always call early in the morning on the one day when I can sleep late. And then they’ll make fun of me for having still been asleep.
5) “Two people required for setup” actually means two people are required for setup. Go figure. Heck, give it some good consideration while you’re getting a band-aid for that spot where you ripped all the skin off your hand trying to force a hinge that wasn’t planning on staying open.
6) Jesus probably didn’t have an impossible-to-unfold screenhouse in mind when he commanded folks to love thy neighbor, but it’s a pretty good demonstration of why it pays to be friendly.
7) Continue loving thy neighbor for helping you out even if she laughs at you while she’s doing it.
8) One of the “empty” boxes that will be knocked over while bustling around the house will contain no less than 1,500 teeny tiny scraps of paper (which absolutely, positively, cannot be thrown away without causing major trauma).
9) Do not forget the sacred rules of bargain hunting. Pop-tarts purchased at $1.00 off is a bargain. Two bags of salad purchased at buy one, get one where the second bag is left in the bottom of the fridge until it turns brown is just misplaced optimism.
10) A person’s motivation to do ANYTHING when it’s (still) raining (again) is non-existent. Clearly if God intended for us to be more productive, he’d clear up this storm front.