My alarm went off at 5:45, and believe it or not, that was one of the highlights of my day. At that point, I still believed myself a capable human. It was a good–if brief–belief.

This morning I was a paragon of organization. I ordered Chickadee to TAKE HER PILL RIGHT NOW before I’d given her anything to drink so that she could swallow it. I took out a box of pop-tarts for Monkey that was… empty. So I threw it away and took out a second box that was… also empty. Then I took out a THIRD box (shut UP) and put it on the table for him and asked him later why he wasn’t eating. It was, of course, because it was a new, sealed box and he couldn’t open it. Then I packed his lunch and put it in Chickadee’s backpack (caught that, luckily).

I surmised that my difficulty might be due to lack of caffeine, so I made myself a big cup of tea. First, I left it on my bathroom counter after I finished drying my hair. Then I left it on the mudroom bench as we were pulling out of the garage. Once I retrieved it, I discovered I’d chosen the only mug in my cupboard that doesn’t fit into my cup holders. I only spilled a little.

My day got better after that, of course. Ha! Well, it should’ve. Let’s see….

I spent close to an hour trying to fix the sound on my computer before figuring out that I had no sound driver. Oops.

About three hours after I got to work, I realized I was looking very snazzy in my black pants, black shoes, and… navy socks. When I got dressed this morning those socks were BLACK. Honest. Crap.

I was halfway through my salad at lunchtime when I realized it had no dressing. I tried to casually scope out the table to see if my dressing was sitting around somewhere, then decided it didn’t really matter and ate the rest. Later I decided that the lack of dressing meant I was allowed more candy.

I’m pretty sure I snorted during a conference call. Maybe they didn’t hear me.

After an offsite meeting I first couldn’t find my car, then I couldn’t figure out how to get out of the parking lot until another car came along that I was able to follow.

Listen, I’m trying to get up to speed. I think maybe my brain needs a little WD-40.