Stress antidote

By Mir
February 1, 2005

There’s only one thing that will help me unwind after a rough day, and today I did it a whole new way. It started with a special delivery to the house; my pulse quickened immediately. As soon as I was able to shoo the children over to their father’s for dinner I was on that package, grinning ear to ear. Before I knew it I was gripping with both hands and working up a good sweat, murmuring my wonderment and appreciation as things progressed. Sure, I had a take a break to welcome the kids back and get them to bed, but then I picked up right where I left off. Afterwards I was spent; exhausted but satisfied.

Ooooohhh, baby. Sometimes I forget that when I order something from Amazon, it tends to arrive in just a couple of days even when I select “please ship the cheapest possible way, perhaps by burro if that pleases you.” My Hoover Floormate is everything it promised it would be. I cleaned ALL the floors. The wood is streak-free and the tile and vinyl are shiny. The entire house is lemony fresh. But the very best part is the joy that can only come from pulling out the reservoir and proclaiming “EWWWWWWWW I can’t believe that was all over my floors!” A tear sprang to my eye, I tell you. All that black sludge, sucked up into my new wonderful machine; if only life could always be tidied up so easily.

Anyway, I feel much better, now. I predict this feeling will last until the children tromp in with their muddy boots after school tomorrow.


  1. Cori

    But the dirt they track in will be a whole ‘nother excuse to use it!

    I’m jealous, in case you hadn’t had enough people tell you that already.

  2. Thumper

    Ohhhhh…I love mine. I bought it in Ohio when we had all tile *UGLY white tile) floors. It made cleaning them so easy.

    And then we moved back to CA, where I have carpet. =sigh= But it *is* awesome…

  3. Jenn

    I just pictured a little hispanic man, possibly Juan Valdez, on a donkey, delivering your Hoover Floormate, and maybe some coffee at the same time! Buenos Dias! What ever happend to those commercials, anyway?

    If you want to be really joyful about what you can pick up with it, you should come to my house. Marvel at the mud that the dog can drag in and leave everywhere! Be amazed at the muddy footprints that just won’t come off no matter how much I scrub!

  4. Katrina

    Ah…I knew you’d love it! Congrats. I spent the day hoovering my own brand new tiles. Sigh! Happy sigh!

  5. udge

    What is it with women and cleanliness? A little mud underfoot never hurt anybody.

  6. Amy

    OK, you’re just a leetle too excited about this…I think we need to get you out more…too bad I live halfway across the country!

  7. Zuska

    Mine arrived yesterday, too! Unlike you, however, I brought home boatloads of work last night and would not even tempt myself: the box remains closed. I plan to test drive the Hoover tonight. Glad you are so pleased. Too bad you can’t get a commission on my sale – you made me do it!!!!

  8. janie

    No streaks on the wood??? Really??? I am sending this link to my hubby. I want one of these babies!!!! I’m having serious hoover envy!

  9. Summer

    It sounds lovely, Mir, but I can’t buy this product. I can’t. It’s because of the TV commercial. You see, the perky, chubby-faced blonde in the commercial is a woman named Cathy, and she’s a bitch. A huge bitch. A white-hot, supernova bitch. I went to high school and college with her, and since we were both Drama Geeks, I spent far too many after-school hours with her. Once she punched me WHEN WE WERE ON STAGE, the one place in the universe that I could not retaliate, because I wouldn’t break character. And now she’s on TV. Bitch. My floors will stay dirty in protest.

    I’ve got nothing against men with phony Australian accents or kangaroos, though.

  10. ben

    Yeah, yeah, you’ve got clean floors.

    I thought we were going to discuss your underwear some more?


  11. dad

    Clean floors are good.

  12. Amanda B.

    You are a wild and crazy woman! That vacuum is pretty darn sexy.

    What is tommorow? Oh yeah, Thursday. This has been a long week. :)

  13. Tuesy

    You will LOVE it!!! I’ve had mine for a little over 2 years and it’s the best thing I’ve ever bought!..

  14. Busy Mom

    I’ll have what she’s having.

  15. joshilyn


    I am experiencing FLOOR ENVY as my prolonged illness means my house is currently a cesspool.

  16. Shiz

    I’m actually very thrilled for you. I love clean floors, too! It must feel GREAT!

    I am insane. I think we share a sickness.

  17. Suzanne

    Great! Now I need a floormate AND a $90 hair straightener. does it ever end?

  18. Cristin

    Oh man I have wanted one of those! How does it do on the grout? Does it get that gunge out?

    (pardon the near pavlovian response)

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