Monday is so… Mondayish

You ever have one of those Monday mornings where it feels like the universe is trying to send you a message, and the message is not very nice?

Like maybe…
… your nearly-five-year-old who should be nighttime trained by now but isn’t because he will be going to college in pull-ups has soaked through everything, because you were out of name-brand pull-ups and used the inferior no-name brand, and it was probably all Murphy’s Law-ish-ly because you just put clean sheets on his bed last night?
… that same child wakes up with a snot-covered face and you are out of daytime children’s cold medicine?
… your other child is complaining of a tummy ache, and she always complains of a tummy ache so it’s probably nothing, except that you have a tummy ache, so maybe it’s not nothing?
… having a cup of tea to settle your stomach turns out to be a really bad idea?
… you receive a rude email from a non-paying eBay buyer who is irate that you’ve filed a claim against them, because surely it must be your fault that they’ve failed to pay you?
… after packing lunches inbetween running to the bathroom, and getting everyone out the door on time, the neighbor greets you at the bus stop with “Wow, you look like crap”?

I’m thinking that if I had a morning like that, I’d be very grumpy, indeed. Yes.

But, as luck would have it, I’ve pretty much repressed everything that happened before we walked out the door today. What? Where? I can’t heeeeaaaaar you!

So Chickadee got on the bus, and Monkey and I headed off to Wallyworld to pick up some cold medicine and some real pull-ups. This deviation from our normal schedule was joy-producing for my small boy. He bounced through the parking lot, then laid his head in the crook of my neck as I was lifting him into the cart. “Mama,” he sighed into the hollow at the base of my throat, “I love you. And I love cold medicine.”

Well, then.

First we selected our pull-ups, based on the vast array and what coupons I had. Lucky for me, Buzz Lightyear was still the most economical choice. It may have gotten ugly if we’d had to go with something inferior and uncool like Mickey Mouse. Of course, it’s apparently not uncool to piss your pants all night long, so my understanding of how the coolness factor is ascertained is clearly lacking. But judging by what little I understand, certain catastrophe was avoided by going with our longtime favorite, Buzz.

On our way back across the store (approximately 3 miles, as Wallyworld is Super Gigantic) towards the cold medicine, I decided to detour in the fabric section. Monkey will be having a Justice League birthday party this year, and because I have multiple holes in my brain, I came up with the brilliant idea that we will decorate capes at the party. That way, we have an activity and a cool party favor and something thematic all in one. Plus, it will probably require a gazillion hours of crafty “prep” time for me in the weeks beforehand, and I will then have a houseful of 5-year-old boys “flying” through the air and I think that would be a wonderful sight to behold just before I gouge out my own eyes with the little straws from the Capri Sun juice pouches they’ll be having.

Where was I? Oh yes. Fabric. So. Monkey and I headed for the Dollar Table and launched into a deep discussion of the relative merits of the various offerings. This one is super cool looking (he said), but further examination revealed that it was rather hard and scratchy. This one feels superheroish (I offered), but the color did not meet with his approval. (“No one in the Justice League has a grey cape,” he chided me. “Don’t be crazy, Mama!”) At least we found a suitable midnight blue material, soft and supple and shiny and–naturally–super! The lady who measured it out for us chatted with Monkey as he strove to explain to her that technically, Spiderman is not in the Justice League, but he is also very super, therefore we will also have some Spiderman party favors. But the capes are going to be the very best part, he confided.

Finally we were on our way to the cold medicine. Again we paused as I compared the choices to my coupons, and after our selections were made, it was off to the registers. Once we paid, I pulled our cart over to the side and gave Monkey one of the “thin strips” I’d just bought. Monkey was not at all sure that he wanted to put this flat purple thing in his mouth, at first. But as it melted, a large grin spread over his face.

“Mama! This is yummy and melting! Also I think I feel it melting my snot away!” There may have been some folks in aisle 18 who didn’t hear him, but everyone else in the store did. My guess is that with a ringing endorsement like that, the thin strips will be sold out there by noon. (“But they melt the snot away! Really!”)

I hear it’ll be Tuesday in just about 14 hours or so….


  1. Ben

    My kids have discovered the wonderfulness of Thin Strips as well.

    Which is kinda scary if you look at it in the old “you can always take a pill and make yourself feel better” as an undesirable philosophy of life way. I’m not going to worry too much about that as long as the snot is melting.

  2. Gina

    I feel really guilty that you did all this before I even got out of bed this morning.

    You are Super Woman. You should make a cape for yourself.

  3. Kristie

    I hope you guys feel better!!!

  4. alektra

    if you give the nasty ebay person’s email out, we’ll make sure to sign them up for lots and lots of spam-type-stuff.

    Not even strips will melt THAT snot away.

  5. Terri

    I’m having snot problems too. Your endorsement has me sold! Feel better!

  6. Mary

    The little boy I nanny wet the bed every night until recently when we got him one of those nighttime monitors to use. They’re kind of expensive, but not as expensive as buying pull-ups forever and ever amen. The one we got is from Star Child Labs; I can give you their address and phone number if you want it.

  7. Scully

    Okay, the 14 year old will smack me for saying this on a blog, but he wet the bed until he was about 11 yrs old. It was only about every couple of months, but it drove my nuts.

    My step-mother, who works in medicine assured me it’s a boy thing and the size of their bladder. It just happens.

    They’re weren’t any pull-ups when he was younger, so until he was 5 I had to put him in diapers at night. I worried that would scar him but he’s assured me he doesn’t remember and he’s assured me that wetting the bed until he was 11 didn’t upset him. He just hated having to get up and change the sheets.

    So, I know that won’t be the case for you, and it will get better.

    And I’ve been up since 5:30 a.m. and I’m at work and I haven’t done 1/3 of what you’ve done.

  8. Marcia

    Only 11 hours til Tuesday now! (But 14 for me here on the west coast–which is ok because I have lots more I gotta do today).

    Hope everyone’s feeling better soon.

  9. Fraulein N

    Okay, now I totally want a Justice League party. And I need some medicine that melts MY snot away; in addition to killer allergies, I hurt myself laughing at “it’s apparently not uncool to piss your pants all night long.”

  10. Jenn

    There must be something about today and tummy trouble, because neither my husband nor myself got any sleep last night because our dog spent the entire night having diarrhea and throwing up. No happy campers in our house today, no sirree. I feel your Monday pain!

  11. Zuska

    Have I told you how much I love Monkey? I do! And I have much to thank you and Monkey for:

    1. A great idea for my Monkey’s 5th b-day party – he’s also superhero-obsessed.

    2. A tip on the snot-melting abilities of those thin strip thingies – wasn’t sure Z would use them and he NEEDS them.

    3. A laugh (It’s apparently not uncool…love that line!).

  12. vics

    Ahhhh, I used to have to ‘lift’ my brother in the night just so he didn’t wet the bed, god knows what social services would make of that heinous chore these days, personally back then I would rather have been the one changing the sheets.
    oh – and I know it’s an aquired taste, but pepermint tea always helps settle my stomach if i’m feeling ‘ick’

  13. diane

    Hmmm. I wonder how many of those thin strips I’d have to take to get an adult dosage…

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