For Sale

By Mir
November 20, 2004

Murray lawn tractor. Runs great good sometimes in theory. Red. Model SUX B1GT1M. Year unknown, either 1942 or 1943.

Loaded! Features/Accessories: Mulching/bagging system. Multiple repair tags on ignition key. Dead battery (rusted in place). Half a human knuckle on rusted battery terminal. Brand new jumper cables. Full tank of gas. Plenty of oil. Large dent in side where I kicked it.

Location: Halfway between the driveway and the shed, which is as close as it’s getting to being put away.

Price: Negotiable. Free with removal of leaves/pine needles. Will pay handsome sum to the agent who removes the aforementioned and the pines in the front yard.

Contact: Dig under the pine needles until you locate the source of that loud sobbing. Please hurry.


  1. ben


    Looks like you need the lawn guy from DH.

  2. Fraulein N

    Heh. That’s two services for the price of one. I’m guessing the lawn won, Mir?

  3. alektra

    Good luck. I have no idea how to accomplish yard work beyond raking and shoveling, so I have no advice. But good luck!

  4. Allan

    Post pictures!

  5. Philip

    Do you need a yard man?

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