I’ve been frying my retinas; what’s her excuse?

By Mir
November 5, 2004

I’ve decided to spruce up the pit a little. You know; if I’m gonna be spending most of my time down here, I may as well be comfortable. I’ve added imaginary flokati rugs and a groovy lava lamp, just because. On the non-fictitious side, I’ve finally dug out and dusted off my lightbox, and just spent my first half-hour of the season sitting in front of it.

Now I am blind. But! So much happier! Well, not really. After about a week of consistent use, I will stop wanting to sleep all the time, though. Which will, of course, give me more time to lay on the rug eating candy and admiring my imaginary lava lamp.

It’s good to have goals.

You may recall how thrilled I was to have a 100% successful round of eBay auctions. No dumb questions, and all of my buyers were lovely people who paid me on time. Naturally this gave me a false sense of hope and impelled me to tempt fate by posting up twice as many auctions the following week, and now I am paying for my foolish optimism. In each and every auction description the following line appears:

Shipping: I will ship this item within the U.S. only.

Confusing, yes? That’s why a nice lady emailed me yesterday to ask if I will “ship international.” I was very tempted to reply that I only ship internationally for those who meet my stringent grammar requirements, and thus I had to decline her request. Instead I was polite in my response, but a feeling of dread has come over me. The morons have found me again.

How long would I have to sit in the glow of the lightbox before I am either immune or just too blind to read my email?


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