What he said: Let’s set an up interview as soon as possible, here are the particulars, here is what we’re looking for, can you come in Monday?
What I heard: This is the job you’ve been waiting for; right salary, right hours, people who give a damn. You are perfect for this. Can you come in Monday?
What I said: Let me check my calendar… why yes, Monday would be fine.
What I thought: OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GET THIS JOB THIS IS IT THIS IS THE ONE THIS IS THE SIGN THINGS ARE GOING TO BE OKAY. But I should stay calm. BUT THIS IS IT!
What she said: Thank you so much for your letter, and have I ever told you that last year I had a little girl name Bumblebee? Well I did, and Chickadee reminds me so much of Bumblebee, but I certainly apologize for the occasional mistake with her name, there. And I think you may have misunderstood some of what we talked about yesterday, because I am very fond of Chickadee and she is just delightful and I’m sure that things are going well. But I’ve checked with the principal and we’re a go for that meeting next week and I know everything is going to be just wonderful.
What I heard: Backpedal, backpedal, backpedal, oh shit I really stepped in it good, the principal yelled at me, I remembered what this job is about and realized I’ve totally bungled the care of your child and please God don’t sue us or make a ruckus. Cuz BUMBLEBEE and CHICKADEE are so similar and that’s an honest mistake. And everything else I said? Well ignore that, it wasn’t what I meant. Did I mention please don’t sue?
What I said: Thank you for keeping the lines of communication open. I look forward to our meeting. I’m sure we’ll be able to reach an appropriate resolution so that we can refocus our efforts on Chickadee’s needs.
What I thought: Keep paddling, bitch.
What she said: Fill me in on what happened… okay… I think you did all the right things. Well, this may explain quite a bit of Chickadee’s sudden school aversion, huh? Go have the meeting and let’s follow-up afterwards. I can step in if need be.
What I heard: You’re doing okay. And I’m here to help.
What I said: Thank you so much for the support.
What I thought: It’s going to be okay. Thank God.