“Just the facts, ma’am.” (That seems cuter and less wordy than explaining that I am being dragged out on a girls’ night, shortly, and won’t have a ton of time to devote to this, and so will just be giving the facts today.)

Janet asks: Harry Potter or Frodo, and why?

Color me perplexed. Of course we know Janet is fond of elves, so the motivation for asking about these two is clear. But which one? For what, exactly? Sex? Companionship? High adventure? Freaky Friday-ish swapping? I’m not clear what the intent is, so I pondered this long and hard…

… and then I realized, whatever the specifics, Harry Potter wins every time, for me. I enjoy both stories, but I view Frodo as a more 2-dimensional character than Harry Potter, who I think has been given the benefit of better character development. (And, dude, who wants to either have or be hanging out with someone who has hairy feet?)

Lee wanted to know if my dream included me falling asleep while spitting watermelon seeds, though I doubt he intended his question to be used for this.

It didn’t. But that would’ve made it a less disturbing dream, I think, because then I would’ve just chalked it up to “stuff on my brain.”

Also in the “why in the world are you using my comment for this?” category, Michele wanted to know if I would mind hacking up another watermelon for her.

Um, no. As in, I would mind, and, I won’t do it for you or anyone else. My kitchen floor has been wiped down twice and mopped once, and it is still sticky and my OCD-ish self is having a great big freak out and recalling that this, people, is why the good Lord invented the melon baller! AAAARRRGGHHH! So, I love you… but NO.

Getting all kinds of serious on my ass is Kym, who asks: What do I see as my children’s three strengths and weaknesses each?

Funny; the end of school has brought about quite a few discussions on this very topic, so it’s actually been on my mind.

For the Chickadee:
Pro: she’s brilliant. Con: she knows it, and is easily frustrated when she can’t master something immediately.
Pro: she’s incredibly empathetic. Con: she has trouble dealing with her feelings, and feels everything to the max, big or little.
Pro: she can often figure out how to best get what she wants. Con: she is often manipulative.

For Mr. Monkey:
Pro: he’s very easy-going and basically happy. Con: on the rare occasions when he is affronted, he tends to react explosively (truly his father’s son, in that way).
Pro: he finds joy in the weirdest little things. Con: once something has made him happy, he expects it to remain static forever, and seems truly bewildered when it doesn’t!
Pro: he remembers everything! Con: he remembers everything! HA!

And there you have it… everything you never really wanted to know on a Friday. Thanks for the questions!

With any luck, I will have some very entertaining stories upon my return, as I believe I heard the word “karaoke” mentioned during the planning phase of this evening….